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AIBU or was the teacher wrong?

(23 Posts)
lucysmum Wed 17-May-17 20:47:02

I picked up my dgd 11 year 6 today from school. She told me that this morning she had drunk a lot of water so by the time she got into class needed a wee but the teacher wouldn't let her go. She said she sat with her legs crossed for about half an hour but was becoming desperate so asked again.The teacher refused again and told her to wait until morning playtime. Dgd says she tried to tell her she could not wait that long, but the teacher cut her off and said she was going to lose her playtime if she mentioned the toilet again and that no meant no. Dgd did hold until break but said she was really uncomfortable.

lucysmum Wed 17-May-17 20:48:33

Really think the teacher was wrong, Should my dd complain?

norose4 Wed 17-May-17 21:03:39

Yes definitely she should complain,what was the teacher thinking of ?

Cherrytree59 Wed 17-May-17 21:42:42

DD should have a word with the head teacher.
perhaps also caution her daughter about drinking too much water before class as I'm sure she could have another drink at break time.
Is it unusual for you granddaughter to be so thirsty?
There was similar thread quite recently
Might be worth a look

rosesarered Wed 17-May-17 21:48:50

It seems wrong to me ( would the teacher really like a puddle on the floor and a crying child?) Yes, there was a long thread about this just the other week?
Is this a new school policy? My DIL gives our DGC a good breakfast as food stops all liquids going straight through ( remember that if going on a long journey) grin

gillybob Wed 17-May-17 22:33:29

Shocking ! The teacher should be made to drink a couple of bottles of water and then told she can't pass water. See how she likes it. How can she even call herself a teacher?

Starlady Thu 18-May-17 04:42:26

Teacher was definitely wrong, imo! Yes, dd should say something. I certainly would.

Also, I agree with Cherry that dd has to talk to gd about spacing out her water consumption, so she doesn't have to go in the middle of class. But that doesn't excuse the teacher's behavior.

Luckygirl Thu 18-May-17 08:21:49

I think we have had a thread on this before. Clearly the teacher was wrong - and particularly wrong with an 11 year old girl who may in fact have been starting or in the middle of a period. Think how embarrassing that could have been for her.

I understand how annoying it is when pupils need the loo in lessons (especially as it seems to be a highly contagious condition)but it is wrong to deny a child access to the loo.

harrigran Thu 18-May-17 08:35:23

I think this is dreadful. GD has had one or two waterworks problems and if she was told she couldn't go to the toilet I would be less than impressed.

SewAddict Thu 18-May-17 16:37:50

In the primary school I last taught in children were encouraged to drink water all day as it's good for them to stay hydrated, so going to the toilet was always allowed. Definitely complain.

gillybob Thu 18-May-17 16:48:05

They are in my DGC's primary too SewAddict

lizzypopbottle Thu 18-May-17 17:24:12

I always allowed one toilet visit per session i.e. before morning play, before lunch and before hometime but only one child out of the room at a time. That was in a first school (up to end of year 4 so no periods to deal with). gillybob no matter how many cups of tea for breakfast, a primary teacher can't leave the room unless there's another qualified adult to take over!

lizzypopbottle Thu 18-May-17 17:25:37

And there almost always isn't in a small school ?

Marmight Thu 18-May-17 18:22:37

I have just returned from a visit to DD and family. GS, 5 last month in reception class, was sent home from school on Monday afternoon because he'd had a poo accident. He'd asked to go at lunchtime but the 'dinner lady' had apparently refused him permission so the inevitable happened once back in the classroom. He has a few problems In the poo department and because of this was told not to return to school until Wednesday. He was perfectly fine on Tuesday and Dad, who works from home, had to entertain him after I had left for the airport. Surely a child of that age should be allowed to go to the loo when he needs to?

Menopaws Thu 18-May-17 18:32:03

There will always be children that try this on as a lesson break but teachers should be able to see if genuine and never make a child hold on, this will only end as a bad accident or a bad memory , report it.

Grannyben Thu 18-May-17 18:48:58

I'm afraid some people just lack common sense, if someone (child or adult) need the loo then they need the loo, end of. I know that my daughter, even when very young, would have felt embarrassed if she wasn't allowed to go and, subsequently, had an accident. Thankfully all her teachers were very experienced and had common sense by the bucket load

Redestate841 Thu 18-May-17 22:46:01

Not being allowed free access to toilets as a child can cause lifelong problems.
At six in my first school I was frightened of a teacher who physically bullied children. This in turn caused me upset tums. She would never allow a child out of class for the toilet.

I vividly remember her shaking a child until urine poured down his legs. I was referred to Great Ormond Street for tests for my tummy problems. At six the diagnosis was pure nerves. I was sent to another school where the staff were kind and tolerant and I was allowed to go at any time, without even asking. Over time my problems settled but through out my life every stressful situation produced the same reaction, badly upset tums. I now have diverticula disease. No child should be denied access to the toilet. Absolutely disgraceful! If she were my child she would be removed forthwith!

mrsmopp Thu 18-May-17 23:08:11

I have vivid memories of this happening to me. Maybe it was more common in those days. I was in the infant class. One day I was desperate, but knowing she would say no, I told her I was going to be sick. She told another child to go to the toilets with me. Of course she snitched when we got back to the class and this girl told the teacher I'd had a wee and not been sick at all. I was given five black marks for that...
Schools were hard in those days with the threat of the cane hanging over us and if you had school dinners you were not allowed to go to the playground until you had eaten everything. We used to put in our pockets anything we couldn't eat!

Hopehope Fri 19-May-17 00:07:50

I would certainly say something to the head teacher, and put it in a letter too. I would be very annoyed if that had happened to one of mine.

kimsmum Fri 19-May-17 12:14:06

I used to teach year 5 and they were not allowed out to the toilet in lesson time unless they had a note regarding a medical problem. Year 2 however is too young to be saying no in my opinion.

kimsmum Fri 19-May-17 12:19:21

Misread you op, I thought your dgd was only in year 2. She is 11 and in year 6. The teacher was right to say no she should go at break and lunch not during lessons.

lovelygran Fri 19-May-17 19:54:14

Agree with kimsmum. I don't let my year 4 class go. I'm sure if they can go without the loo for at most an hour and half, then a year 6 child can go before school and during breaks. She will soon be at secondary school and chances are she will not be allowed to the toilet during class

Lisalou Sat 20-May-17 05:23:55

It's a hard one. The policy at the school where I work is to use common sense. I would not normally allow a child of that age a loo break, as, has been said, it is a contagious condition, and there are breaks when they can go. Having said that, if I see a child is truly distressed, I let them go, but only one child out of the room at a time.