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Over sensitive

(22 Posts)
craftynan Wed 21-Jun-17 17:43:52

I've never posted anything before but I'm feeling a bit down at the moment. I hate gossip, if anyone tries to involve me in a discussion about someone else I always remain impartial as none of us are perfect and I don't believe we have the right to criticise others when usually we don't know the full story. Someone has told me today that a relative of mine was "the talk of the town" a couple of years ago over the way they had chosen to handle an incident. I wasn't particularly happy about the way it was handled but it was their decision so I kept out of it. It's really upset me to know that people were talking about it, I know that I'm far too sensitive to other people's opinions but it's the way I am. I just really wanted to air this as I know it's going to worry me now.

Luckygirl Wed 21-Jun-17 17:46:58

Do not waste brain space and energy over this - it really is not worth it Human nature is human nature - you cannot change that.

annsixty Wed 21-Jun-17 17:49:39

It's over , let it go , everyone else will have forgotten it and so should you .

craftynan Wed 21-Jun-17 17:49:52

Thank you, Luckgirl, I know that but have always found it difficult to ignore these sort of things. At the end of the day I suppose I'm just a wimp!

annsixty Wed 21-Jun-17 17:50:32

Yesterday's news, today's chip paper.

grannypiper Wed 21-Jun-17 17:52:25

Chew it over for 5 minutes then let it go, as you say you dont like getting involved

Ana Wed 21-Jun-17 17:56:51

It was two years ago...in the past. Some people will always like to gossip, but try not to let it bother you.

craftynan Wed 21-Jun-17 17:57:11

Thank you everyone, you're all very kind. I have to go out to a meeting now so hopefully that will take my mind off it.

MissAdventure Wed 21-Jun-17 18:04:42

You've certainly nothing to worry about, craftynan. Its very wise to remain impartial; I always worry I've been drawn into gossiping about someone and its all going to get found out!

Jalima1108 Wed 21-Jun-17 18:12:59

I don't know if you live in a small town craftynan but that is what we call 'small town gossip' - most people will have forgotten that, moved on and be busy gossiping about someone else now.

craftynan Thu 22-Jun-17 11:01:26

Yes, Jalima, it is a small town. Logic tells me it will have blown over now and that some other poor soul will be the victim of their tongues. It's me that's the problem here, I just have this absolute fear of me or anyone connected with me being the subject of gossip - I should probably just become a recluse!

paddyann Thu 22-Jun-17 11:49:42

craftynan as my mum would have said,if they're talking about you they're leaving someone else alone...so dont worry about it.People will gossip about the stupidest things ,usually people who dont have a life ...keeps them amused .

Jalima1108 Thu 22-Jun-17 12:26:54

Rise above it smile

Crafting Thu 22-Jun-17 13:39:09

craftynan you sound just like me. I have worried over small things for years. There are a number of people (like us) that brood and turnover things in our minds for ages. It does not help and more importantly it does not matter. Knowing that I turn things over and over in my mind, I have tried recently to actively stop myself. I pick up a book and read or do some thing different. I think of something else and if my thoughts return to the same topic again I don't allow myself the luxury of brooding. It's not easy but try it. 🙂

craftynan Thu 22-Jun-17 14:53:16

I will give that a try, Crafting. We do sound very alike, I seem to have spent my whole life like this and should know better. I think the term "born worrier" probably applies to us.

Crafting Thu 22-Jun-17 21:13:59

It does craftynan (note similar user name grin). I often have thought that on my gravestone it should say 'she worried for England'. It is easy for those who do not feel this way to say forget it, it's not worth worrying about but people like us find that hard to do. I have worried for years over things that happened in the past, even back to my school days. I used to brood and go over and over things in my mind. What if I had done things differently, what it.... what if.... Now I try hard to be firm with myself and really try to stop myself thinking of things over and over. Good luck and try not to worry smile

phoenix Thu 22-Jun-17 21:34:21

Can you change it? No. It's in the past, none of us have a time machine.

Can you change other peoples opinions/thoughts/attitudes? No, unfortunately, much as sometimes we would like to, we can't alter the mindset of others, even though some of them could do with it!

Can you rise above it, and let it go? YES !

Sending you every good wish.

craftynan Fri 23-Jun-17 10:05:07

Crafting - yes, I had noticed the similar names. I have made up my mind to try to stop worrying. Phoenix - you are so right and thank you, and everyone else, for your good wishes.

silverlining48 Fri 23-Jun-17 11:46:54

I am a brooder and worrier too and a couple of days ago plucked up the courage to contact an old friend by email who has let me down badly. It was a fairly direct letter not my usual style at all, but after some hesitation i sent it.
I came onto gn afterwards and a number of kind folk responded but a few saying they would not have written a letter and just woukd have ignored and withdrawn. So am now agonising over it and wonder if i should write an apology for maybe upsetting her, or maybe not as she isnt the most caring individual, and now i almost feel as bad as i did when writing to her initially.
You are right phoenix, cant change things now and do not expect to hear from her again.

annsixty Fri 23-Jun-17 11:53:27

You certainly should not apologize Silverlining she was not a nice person and you don't want her back in your life on the same terms as before. If SHE apologizes and changes that is a different matter.

silverlining48 Fri 23-Jun-17 18:07:58

Thanks ann. I feel better now but wish i didnt worry about upsetting people so much.

Starlady Fri 23-Jun-17 23:59:13

Kudos to you for staying out of it!

Maybe it will help to remember that in a the kind of small town that gossips, most of the people gossiping have probably been gossiped about themselves or will be eventually. So they're all in the same boat, really. None of them can take any of this too seriously surely since they all do the same thing to each other. You probably take it way more seriously than they do, so please try to let it go.