To worry about dying alone

It is a very good idea to put some kind of system jn place to 'check in' daily as it could be such a shock for someone to suddemly discover a body. I am not so bothered about dying alone as to be ill alone and unable to summon assistance and I would be more than just put out by 'snuffing it' unnecessarily!
When we bought our current home there was already a key box in the porch but we really diďn't think we would ever use it. It has however been a blessing since the beginning of the year when DH was so badly hurt in a car crash as it has been used by many carers and helpers.
Whilst in hospital DH arranged for 'care call' to be installed as he was concerned about me being at home alone and it has been a reassurance particularly since my balance is not good. You are supposed to press the button every other week to check all is working and if you forget they will phone and reminď you.
Going back to the daily 'check in' idea we have been so grateful to one particular friend who has called in every single day since that crash to ensure that all is well with us and to do anything he can to help. A friend in a million!

My parents had an agreement with the folk who live directly opposite. They were keyholders and if the bedroom curtains were not opened by a specific time in the mornings the neighbours were to ring the bell then come in. Is there anyone nearby who could do that for u and u could do it for them?

We just don't know do we?

Someone with whom I was acquainted died suddenly this week, hale and hearty and with so much planned for the future. I didn't know him well, but those who did (and there are many) are just devastated. He was 52.

I did used to worry about that but having had an alarm system put in and a keysafe outside the door I thought that there was no point in continuing to fret especially as I don't want to move from here. I have a very nice young woman who lives in the flat opposite me and she will knock on my door if she doesn't see me for a few days.. she takes down my refuse bin every week which I really appreciate as I am disabled.
Sometimes we have to accept the things that we can't change and just get on with it.

Wishing you all the best rubylady sounds like you have been through so much and understandably you are still fragile. Hopefully with time and lots of rest you will start to feel much stronger, ongoing health problems can wear you down.

Best wishes also to annsixty.

I was very interested in the smart plug but it is expensive and the cost is on going.

The aim of the smart plug is to monitor normal activity and let a designated person know if the routine is broken

Someone has invented a 'smart plug' which monitors the kettle and TV going on it can send a message via the internet to a phone or computer. It's called 3rings www.3rings.co.uk it's been on Dragons Den and is sponsored by Westfield Health

I live in a corner where we have 8 or 9 properties,all occupied by elderly folk.We all keep an eye out for each other even though we don't chat or see each other every day.Some of us phone each other daily and check on us going out and about,also several people have keys to each others house and in some cases next of kin numbers if they're not local. It all works very well.

The key safe is a good idea but take heed of what HazelGreen said about it being in a discreet location. It can advertise that there's someone vulnerable in the house. When the social services fitted one for my Mum they put it in full view - she had a string of cold-callers, door-to-door sellers and someone asking to use her phone - DH moved it to a place it couldn't be seen & the calls stopped.

I have two phones, one in my bedroom and one in the living room. I live in a bungalow, so one can be heard from wherever I am.

The only thing I can think of is to text someone each day to say that you're all right and if one isn't received then to phone them to be sure.
When I was on chemo my sister rang me and got no answer so she got into a bit of a panic - the mobile was downstairs 'on charge' and I can't hear the landline if I'm upstairs. I try to have the mobile with me at all times but there are moments when that isn't the case. It's a tricky one. As we get older and our eyesight may fail, will we be able to see properly to send a text? Will arthritic fingers make it difficult to do this? Will we lose our marbles and forget what a mobile is?
MIL had one of those call systems round her neck but with every fall (at least three, maybe more) she 'forgot' all about it and was instead found by carers at the next visit.

There are some good tips on here for anyone living alone. It's been a useful and informative thread.

and best wishes to both of you, ruby and ann.

Probably for the best Ruby , time to withdraw, relax and recoup.

Good luck.

Best wishes

I would be on a short fuse if I had all that to put up with Rubylady.

I've apologised to Ann, I'm sorry if I upset any of you too.

I'm taking a break for a while, I do think all of the last few months has caught up with me and I'm feeling pretty emotional about it all.

It tends to hit you pretty hard eventually when a specialist doctor tells you you could have dropped dead at any time in the last four years. Plus I'm still feeling really shit after it all. I have tried to put a brace face on, laughing and joking but no, I feel really awful, both emotionally and physically. My legs are still sore and tender, my back is in pain every minute, my shoulders hurt, my wound is sore, my stomach is still bruised, I still have water retention and I still get out of breath because after four years I now have lung damage too. I've tried on here to play it down at times.

I can't deal with all this, I need some space. The last few years have been overwhelming and is now causing repercussions. My son's here now. Take care everyone.

That kettle idea seems good, if it works OK. If I lived alone I'd be worried, not for me but my cats.... I wouldn't want them suffering. I have no cat door, and live in a remote area. I've never thought of it before.

I have nice neighbors but they can't see my curtains. My son lives miles away and I don't hear from him on a regular basis. However the kettle alert would enable him to contact my neighbors, who have a key.

It's one of those things you don't really want to consider, like funeral plans etc. If ever on my own I'll sort something out.... Although I'll probably not have that problem being older.

I'm a solo survivor as well. I have phones by my bed, kitchen and in my lounge. I have an alarm pendant round my neck that is linked to my burglar alarm and the police! I also have key safe.
Don't worry if I'm not posting, I'm probably either sorting my pearls or on a cruise ( wearing aforementioned pearls )

To say that must have been awful for you Anya would be an understatement.

If I were on my own I would certainly have a key safe fitted and get myself a new mobile phone with appropriate numbers factored in, to be carried at all times! The thought of my dog being locked in if I suddenly died would be of enormous concern, much more than dying alone! Luckily we have got family fairly close and a lovely village shop where I know my key number would be safe. At the moment DH and I have each other, but when we don't!!

When my mother took her own life she left a note, giving my phone number and asking her milkman to give me a call saying to go round immediately.

A few years ago a teaching colleague in his 50's who lived alone was found dead in his armchair when neighbours became suspicious at not seeing anybody going in or out. .
The irony was that he was an extremely sociable man, had had invitations to two family/friends' weddings AND the football season had just started and he was an Arsenal season ticket holder.
Each group assumed he was at one of the other events when he failed to show up.
He was found with the TV on and a half empty whisky glass on the table beside him so we like to think it was as good a way to go as any, but dreadful for the poor neighbour's who found him after several days.

I was told by the ambulance men to leave the keys in the door when it was locked, as then they could get in without breaking the lock!