To worry about dying alone

Oh dear, that sounds so far removed from our world but then I started to think.
Is it possible to try to strike up a conversation with neighbours? I know it can be very hard to pluck up the courage to do that

However - although we're friendly with the neighbours would anyone notice if we didn't appear for two or three days? I'm not sure.

annesixty, that does sound worrying is Rubyladiy's son around? He will not be back at university yet and may be living at home at the moment.

Do let us know when you've managed to get hold of Ruby ann and that she's OK.

Perhaps we could use mick with his good morning routine. If you don't checkin with a good morning then hq could alert people.

Is it possible to try to strike up a conversation with neighbours?

I know it can be very hard to pluck up the courage to do that. It feels fiercesomely scary! I've recently set myself the challenge of talking to a stranger every day. It's led to some great conversations, really interesting. And after a while it's not so hard to make yourself do it.

I got a Fitbit a few weeks ago and it monitors my heart rate and sleep patterns. It links to my ipad to give me a daily summary. Surely it must've possible to link it to a computer in a centre that would sound an alarm if the heart rate went down to nothing. Or something along those lines anyway.

I agree with other suggestions here. Do you have a friend or relative that you could just give 2 rings or a text to once a day at a set time and if they don't hear from you that is a sign they should check? That worked well for my Mum. There were a couple of times she was unwell, didn't have a mobile and could not get out of bed, so the fact the phone did not ring 3 times alerted us to go and check on her. Your fear is not at all unreasonable though....Do hope you manage to sort something and feel more reassured.

I will ring tomorrow and then consider my options.
I have no real connection apart from friendship and concern.
I dont know how my concerns would be met.
I have only met Ruby on my hospital visits but feel a real kinship with her and her circunstances.

Annsixty my dad used to ring mums best friend every Saturday at a certain time ( after mum had Alzheimer's and couldn't) One Saturday he rang a number of times with no answer it was so out of character as they always had the weekly chat at the same time He rang me worried, I suggested he rang the local police as she was a vulnerable adult The police went to her house and found she had fell and broken her pelvis. If you are really worried that might be a way to go

My daughter rings every day to check on me and has asked me to no longer put the chain on the front door at night which I ve now stopped doing

My Mother in Law makes a call to DH ( on his mobile) each morning which he does not answer unless it rings more than 3 times. If she has not rung by 10 a m we call her. Maybe OP could make this arrangement with a friend or neighbour .

Ann, I do hope that Ruby is alright.
My husband had one of the alarm buttons worn around the neck, but they also supplied a fall one, if you fall it sends the alarm, if they don`t hear back from you within a specified (quite short) time, then the contacts are notified.
At the moment, I`m OK, my daughter lives with me, but she`s disabled, and I worry about her when I`m not here, but she won`t have one of the neck alarms.

annsixty, that is worrying! Is she still having carers coming in? If so, they would report anything untoward.

This thread comes at an appropriate or opportune time for me.
I have been keeping in touch with Rubylady since she came out of hospital.
I last spoke to her on Sunday and she was rather tired , having been keeping herself busy.
I haven't been in touch until yesterday when I rang twice with no reply and I have tried again today several times.
I have no other way of getting in touch apart from a PM which I will try. I am concerned now.

We worried constantly about MIL who refused to move to sheltered accommodation or go into a care home. She insisted on going upstairs when we could have made a very nice bedroom downstairs for her and refused to have a stairlift. However, her neighbour was very good and was on 'curtain watch' to see if the kitchen curtains were not opened by 10am at the latest.
My sister had a fall outside and couldn't get any of the neighbours to hear and couldn't move. Her DD had asked her to always keep her mobile in her pocket but she hadn't done (I think she does now).
I think having one of the alarms that you wear around your neck is a good idea and perhaps having a 'neighbourhood watch' between yourselves is another good idea. A keysafe is another good idea.

I must say I never thought about it when I was younger and on my own with DC.

I fear that could happen to us, I have a sister who lives a few miles away but wouldn't think to check as I only see her a couple of times a year. I have a neighbour who holds a key and would phone me and if got no reply would pobably check. This neighbour never opens her blinds so I never know if she is up and about.

When Dc were under 5, DH was away from home a lot so I arranged with my parents that when he was away I would ring them every morning and if I didn't ring they would ring me and get help if I did not reply.

Nowadays it doesn't have to be telephone call. An email or text to a son or daughter or neighbour every day would be one solution.

This is a justified worry and one that some of us live with daily. So you are not being unreasonable, sourcerer48. Would your dog bark maybe if you were on the floor ?
My neighbours have a key, but how would they know if I'm laying on the floor dying? I might get one of those things you wear around your neck, but would I be able to press it if I'm about to expire?
It's not so much the actual dying, but the thought of having a stroke or heart attack that worries me. I don't know what the answer is.

Lots of good suggestions here, thank you.
I especially like the idea of having a friend text me once a day.
Minimo: yes, my neighbours also live alone and luckily I dont presently have any health issues. Perhaps it might be an idea to set up some kind of link between us. Certainly given me something positive to think about.

DD1 texts me each morning and I reply immediately, so we know we are both all right. My mobile phone is always with me in my pocket or beside my bed. I even take it with me when I have a bath.

I have an elderly neighbour, with no family, who closes her kitchen blind when she goes to bed and opens it when getting up to make her early morning cup of tea. I have also insisted that she removes her door key rather than leaving it on the inside of the lock, so that I can use the one she has given me for access in an emergency. Our houses are at right angles to each other so it is easy to keep an eye out without appearing nosy.

I am not worried about dying alone, but the thought of being taken ill without being able to call for help is scary.

When I was discharged from hospital in 2009 having had surgery following a broken ankle, my local council fitted the keysafe free of charge and I do not live in council property. I doubt if they would do it now because they will not have the money.

A keysafe is a good idea. I had one for my parents' house but hadn't thought of having one myself!!!!!

I'm lucky in that my family lives nearby but don't pop round every day - thank goodness! Though perhaps we should come to some arrangement. Thanks for this post - it's making me think.

I email a friend at least x2 a day who lives in Scotland. I live in London so she could not exactly pop in. She has worried me a couple of times because there has been a fault with my computer, I could not let her know and instead of ringing me she has been on the verge I think of ringing the police. She is not very contactable by phone.

I to would be terrified of this happening and think the telephone system is good also texting each other is a good idea.We have a call system for emergencies and a visit from a mobile warden twice a week but even that could leave room for improvement in case anything happened in your sleep.

Charleygirl I think I may have one of those fitted.

I have a "keysafe" fitted outside my house but I do not think I have changed the key since I had my front door changed last year.