Other people's parties

Funny, here I thought I was the weird one out - wonder if the majority of people at a party are all thinking to themselves "wish i hadnt come" and smiling on the outside?

On the other hand, I love having friends over to dinner, or going to their houses, as long as the group is all good friends and is not more than ten or so.

I wonder if it is the crowds for me (don't like crowded shopping centres much either) or just the inanity of the general conversation. The other thing I detest is the hypocrisy of the "have to mingle" thing. Why can't one continue a happy conversation while it lasts?

Oh, I know exactly how you feel. I´ve always hated them, felt closed in, didn´t know how to strike up a conversation, general chit chat feels so trite, nobody really listens to anyone else, they just go off on a tangent, was never good at witty repartee and so on and so on. Nowadays, just don´t do them anymore. I love to see my friends individually and have a really good in-depth talk about what they´ve been doing and usually remember past conversations and am able to ask questions. All my friends and family now know and just accept it. I remember, some years ago, I attended a party for "war brides" (British women who married foreign servicemen) and one of them turned to me and said "I´d really rather not be here. How about you?" I knew exactly. When you are older, you can say exactly what you think and what does it matter, really? In the wider scope of things? At last you can be you.

I don't do any socialising that I don't enjoy any more. Life is just too short, and I can't stand getting dressed up, other peoples music, or alcohol. I never have, really, and I just think I'm old enough now to be able to put my foot down!

Oh how I agree!!
I am not anti social, try to overcome shyness and to mingle, chat, take an interest etc etc but I am not really comfortable especially if the majority of other guests seem to know each other.
I have ducked out more than once (and then wonder why I don't have a life!!)
Worst of all were staff parties and even now I am retired I cringe at (and decline) reunion type dinners with former colleagues.
Is it because I am really not comfortable with superficial "small talk"?
But family parties ✔️
Coffee/drinks/a meal with friends✔️
Even my own parties - although since Paws recent illness they will be confined to family do's ✔️
I bet a lot of people feel the same, that "why did I accept the invitation" sinking feeling !!

I know it's me just feel very uncomfortable and very self conscious ?

What is it you hate exactly?