To think women are more than just wives, mothers and grandmothers.

Lucky you loopy

Absolutely Trisher. I don't feel totally defined by my family. If they all fell away I would still be me and would be able to build a life. Very sadly, but I would.

A man who is a husband and father is no different.

the two greatest accomplishments in my life are my two daughters. I have done many years working for charities , thankful I did, was actively involved in miscarriages of justice and for years involved with the fight against apartheid.

I would be content for my gravestone to read the same as Paul Eddington said he would like on his, - she did no harm. Well he said He did no harm

But as the end of my life, what will matter to me the most will be my family, those who have gone before me and those who I will be leaving behind

My thoughts exactly janeainsworth

Surely being remembered (for the right reasons) is the main thing and not being remembered as a great ........... (insert word of choosing).

I certainly won't be remembered for anything other than having been a dedicated and loving granddaughter, daughter, sister, mother, wife and grandma.

Wouldn't wish for anything more to be honest.

I fully agree with all of you about how important family can be and if it seemed that I was ignoring that part of my life I can only apologise. It was and is a big part of my life but I am more than that and I think most women are.

Yes, for a lot of people children and grandchildren are central, but you only have to look at the number of unhappy/angry posts on here to see the trouble it causes when they are all that someone has to occupy them and give them a sense of self worth. And the agony it causes when the extent of one gran's need is such that she is in competition with another or even with her child's chosen partner.
When daughter, mother, grandmother is all you are that's perilous.

I do see your point Trisher and understand it . I feel slightly differently.

My finest achievement ( so far :-) ) is without doubt my daughters - and if I'm remembered for nothing more than being a great Mum I'll take that! Being an awesome Nana comes a close 2nd , followed by a loving wife for over 41 years.

I've done many things in my life and they are all part of who I am now , most I remember with pride. I am more than the sum of the parts .

I don't pigeon hole myself so others don't pigeon hole me either. I pursued my dreams - I just happened to take my family along for the ride .

I just want to add to Trisher's list, daughter, sister, cousin etc.
I spent many years struggling with all the various roles. At the same time enjoying my job, which I loved (thanks to the state education I received, (as per JaneA)
It's just as well women can do multi-tasking.
But now, it's my husband, children and their families that I put first

I've spent most of my life juggling a business and a family,my Oh often worked 14 hour days ..or more.So the childcare and house was up to me...on top of working full time .I enjoyed it all.Now we're semi retired though I love having the GC here and not being time restricted.My children and GC are a huge part of my life and thats how I like it..we've had 4 here since Friday ..they go home tomorrow .We're all tired ..but happy .Isn't that whats important ?

I don't really care if they remember me as a wife, mam, grandma, teacher or whatever. As long as they remember me as having been a nice person.

I wholeheartedly agree with you trisher I love my family too, but I don't feel totally defined by being married and having had children.
As long as my family are o.k. I don't feel disapointed if they do not surround me at Christmas or birthdays. I still have dreams and ambitions and a whole inner life of my own.
Having said that, I am very happily married and would be devastated if he was not with me.
I am glad that my children have their own children but that is because they wanted to have children, not because I wanted to have grandchildren.

And from now on I will be the sort of person who checks her post before pressing the button!

I'm reminded of the gravestone that I saw that gave name and date and the epitaph "A vicars wife."
I with you on this one, Trisher.

Everyone is entitled to their own view trisher - it isn’t a question of being unreasonable or otherwise.
Personally, I feel privileged to have received a good education courtesy of the state, and to have worked in my chosen profession.
But as the end of my life, what will matter to me the most will be my family, those who have gone before me and those who I will be leaving behind.
I don’t care how people remember me, as long as my children know that they were greatly loved.