In thinking many modern parents take the easy way out

Busy working parents need all the help they can get. Ready made costumes, automatic washing machines, frozen pastry, you name it. If they can afford the easier option who can blame them, and if it leaves a bit more time for cuddles and play it’s win win.

Well said Hollycat. I agree.

Many of us had it very hard when we were bringing up our children. Life was very tough.

It’s a very different life now

Many of our generation worked full time as well as raising children. I was one of them. We also needed two incomes in order to get by. I didn't have the luxury of choice unfortunately. I became a single parent when my marriage ended so I suspect many, many of us know how exhausting working, childcare and being a single parent can be. I sympathise with those struggling today but lots of us can say 'been there, done that, got the T shirt' can't we?

In fairness, we didn't have supermarkets full of ready made costumes, nor did we have computers or ipads for our children to use. We are all products of the times in which we live. I had to make all the costumes for mine when they were in school plays and you somehow find the time and energy to do it, when you have no choice.

Choice is a good thing - if you have the finances to access them. I didn't have much disposable income either as my children grew up, so I daresay today I'd still be making costumes. I know my children are able to buy costumes for their little ones for school plays but I am very tempted to say "Let's improvise!"

Thrift and wanting value for money is a hard habit to throw off.

I'm not sure it IS that different for parents today. I had two children and worked full time at a youth &community centre when they were small. The eldest went to a nursery across the road and the baby was in a pram in the office with me. I made all their clothes, and mine, including coats, (self taught using an Essex miniature sewing machine before I was able to buy a proper one) and did not have a washing machine. My friends were in similar situations, one worked on a market stall (she took the baby) and one cleaned a suite of offices (she took her baby too). Do today's parents REALLY have it so bad?

My great grandson won his school fancy dress day with his James and the Giant peach costume, he had forgotten to tell his Mum that it was dressing up day until that very morning, so, she grabbed some cardboard and string, made him a sign to hang round his neck, which read 'MISSING - One Giant Peach! If found please call......'
He won first prize and there were some blooming expensive costumes around then apparently.
I think these days, without wanting to spoil your child, you do have to think about them being bullied. If you send your Wise Man to the Christmas Nativity with a Great Yarmouth Tea-towel, well, back in the 80's that was fine, but these days, you will have kids looking down on them, and yes, you shouldn't do things to 'please' others, but you still have to pick your battles as it were.
My daughter works, has four children, and believe me, does a heck of a lot more things with her children than I did.

We are all different, we all made mistakes as parents and we don’t all like the same things. I personally loved being a stay at home Mum, I loved sewing and baking and wouldn’t have missed a minute of my kids lives. That would have been others idea of hell, each to their own. This generation have many things easier than we did, but also many things have had to be sacrificed. I have seen the most disgusting signs of parental neglect etc No one can generalise, life is a total mix of the good, the bad and the down right ugly.

My three year old doesn't Caren wether I spend time making his costume or get it off Amazon prime.
He just cares that he is an awesome sheep and the best sheep that's ever been!

I'm not going to waste time doing something I don't enjoy just to say I did it.
Just like birthday cakes. People always ask if I'm making one. No I'm going to buy one and eat it.

I don't care if it's 'lazy' I'd rather spend the time with my children doing something fun that we all enjoy.

And the main thing we didn't have to struggle against was the internet and all that goes with it. I don't know how we would have coped with that. Though we did limit TV to 2 hours a day for a few years.

Finding time with kind of work ethic employers expect these days is a pressure on parents.

When my youngest was growing up, businesess were changing and expecting far more from us, for far less then them.

We often found the requests for school costumes quite difficult as they would always be late requests. I'm lucky in that I can sew and find something. One year, a request was made for a Christmas jumper (the day before the event), so I sewed a cheap santa hat on to the front of an existing jumper.

I can sew, paint, make jewellery and create crafty things so I'm lucky that I have a stash of stuff to fall back on and have some imagination I suppose.

Without getting political, I don't envy young parents these days. Each generation has had different pressures to cope with, but little is done to help families in terms of time off and understanding from the government and employers.

It’s not what you say Paddyann, it’s how you say it.

Day6 I agree with everything you have said. As an outsider looking in, I got the point of what willsmadnan was saying. Shoudn't it be about using the imagination? rather than spending money that you do not have just to keep up with the Jones?? My DS doesn't earn a great deal but DIL spends like there is no tomorrow on all sorts of rubbish. They live in a new apartment which is about six years old and they have had four new ovens and a new kitchen in that time. Judging I guess I am.

The school I worked in had a prop basket full of dressing gowns/robes (of various sizes), tea towels, Alice bands (to keep the tea towels in place), kings and pages outfits. In fact every costume you could need for Christmas and Easter (Catholic school so we crucified Jesus in our Good Friday assembly....really.....well not with the nails but little ones cried). Sometimes parents would make costumes and donate them after their child had used them so we were able to get rid of the old and use the newer but we never asked them to. We rarely asked for anything more than a plain (cheap) teeshirt and/or pair of tights. Halos, crowns, gifts etc. were made small group time with a TA. Our Nativity and Easter events may not have been posh but it didn't matter. The children loved performing and the parents loved watching.

Certain items were kept separate in order to protect them from being used willy-nilly. Unfortunately the 'safe place' wasn't as safe as the TA in charge thought. I'd needed some lacy fabric and to my joy found a wonderful piece in the art cupboard. I promptly chopped it up and used it in class only to be shouted at later by the TA as I'd chopped up Veronica's veil (Stations of the Cross). She never really forgave me for that

By the way....all us kids and NO washing machine or fridge...how did she manage to get us all through childhood. Women now fall apart if the’ leccy ‘goes of for ten minutes.

All these differing opinions!!! I was born 1950..supposedly mother’s sitting there sewing , knitting, crafting !! ( what the hell is that anyway) ?? My mum had 3 jobs ...count them ..3 jobs and 6 kids in 15 years.She had to sit and sew ( hated it) she had to sit and knit( hated it)...she wouldn’t understand ‘crafting’ at all! The only time my mum sat down was when she was doing these hated ‘jobs’ Don’t try telling her they were a joy! Her day started at 5 am and finished around midnight. She was a lovely mum, but how we wished she could’ve stopped what she was doing and play a game with us. She never played with us... we fell back on each other. Her life was hard... stressful ( in the true sense) and mundane. I didn’t even know she had a brain inside her head until I was a young woman.!! When I saw the first batch of tinned food in our house I thought the end of the world had come, it hadnt , it just meant my mum could take a little , very little time to herself. Not much to asked you’d say!? Viva convenience foods , viva anything that allows women ( and lets face it it’s usually women) crawl back out of the kitchen . Anyone who idealises motherhood has too much time and energy on their hands. Keep buying the outfits on line....Amazon forever!!

must be how you read it"overthehills* just saying what I thought.I have heard someone say a young woman I know was a lazy cow...because she had help in the house ...they didn't know she had serious debillitating illness.Really ,what other families do is none of your or my business....unless you are paying all their bills ..then you MIGHT be able to complain about a tenner for a costume .Some "older" folk are every quick to judge...living in the past when they need to move with the times ,calling people CBA parents is neither necessary or helpful

I was intrigued by that bottle preparation machine - couldn't really see how it helped. You still have to sterilize the bottles, put the formula in, shake it up etc.

Good for you Dame!
I enjoyed the cobbling together of various costumes but, as someone has said, there were far fewer occasions. My DD isn’t able to, for a variety of reasons, and I’m still called upon sometimes, which I also enjoy.
The OP wasn’t, in my opinion, judging young parents she was just asking the question to open a discussion. No need to respond so aggressively Paddyann.

I think if I had young children today I'd make my kids their own costume...simply because young parents today are expected to fork out cash all the time.

Kindergarten graduations (never knew there was such a thing), sponsored everything (that's not new) and a myriad of other things nursery schools and primaries seem to require parents to buy.

It must cost a ruddy fortune to have a kid at nursery or school today. I'd be cutting costs wherever I could

My daughter is brilliant at DIY costumes, but when she's particularly busy - she's training to be a midwife - she will buy ready-made stuff. Littlest GS was a sheep yesterday. DD told me she couldn't be bothered to cover him with cottonwool, especially as he would have spent his time picking it all off. He looked cute in his shop-bought sheep onesie.

My message: DON'T BE A PARENT DEFINED BY SOCIAL MEDIA. IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S CERTAINLY NOT TRUE AND IT ADDS UNNECESSARY PRESSURE TO YOURSELVES TO DISPLAY YOUR LIVES AS PERFECTION. Stop today!

There is a choice for parents today. Parents today are pressurised by what social media deems as good parenting. The more you have bought to instagram, the better parent you must be. Wrong! I have given up material things (I still have a few) and my kids don't have every toy from the store or every gadget around but they have me and all of me. I make them crowns from coloured cardboard on their birthdays, followed by a house full of balloons. My children get so excited for this. Every. Single. Year. We make outdoor kitchens from tins and old spoons. My kids know life as I knew life. Because although I am living in the current age, I am responsible for how I use my time.

I was, and continue to be, absolutely hopeless at sewing and so when my children were small if a costume was needed and the school wasn't providing it (I seem to recall that the school took responsibility for nativity costumes) I would have to pay someone to do it.

I don't see these sorts of parental activities as being a prerequisite for good parenting. I expect there are parents who look good on the surface but aren't so great in other areas that really matter, such as emotional support.

A major concern I do have is about some mums (and dads) spending a lot of time on their mobile phones but perhaps if I had grown up in this highly technological environment, I would have run the risk of having an over-reliance on my phone too. Goodness knows, I waste far too much time on the internet!

Aside from that concern, I do get a bit fed up with people constantly criticising the younger generation - their parenting skills, their work ethic, their financial management, etc. etc. I don't think I was a perfect parent but I did my best - and I think that is what most of today's parents try to do.

There does seem to be a lot more 'dressing up' days.
My grandson had to wear spotty clothes a couple of weeks ago. No idea what for, but I was dreading it. Spotty shirt, maybe. Spotty trousers?!
What a waste of money.

I agree with Humbertbear; when I produced Nativity plays in the seventies I organised a large wardrobe of costumes which could be used and refreshed each year. I was horrified by the demands sent home in later years by mainly younger, childless teachers, for very specific costumes for an ever increasing number of dressing up events. I do think/ know that schools are capable of doing far more to costume their plays, at least.

As a Gran who has hurriedly made up Viking costumes, Roman costumes etc with strict instructions that they were to be kept for subsequent DGC I was able to do it. Glad that costumes can be bought (but, oh save us from Disney) but do think about other children somewhere in the world being exploited to make these things-yes I know it provides an income. Isn't life just more complicated?
I worked with a lady married to a sheep farmer. Her son had to be a shepherd with a tea cloth-he grumbled and said "my Dad IS a shepherd and wears a rugby shirt"!
I can't remember having to supply so many costumes when our DDs were small.