Does anyone else really hate this time of year ?

I started Christmas shopping in earnest this morning, spent quite a while looking for Playmobil Pirate Ship for grandson, unfortunately sold out, well serves me right shouldn't have left it till now, but I'm not one to start on Christmas too early, we've only just put our tree up. I managed to track down some other Playmobil items and a virtual cat for granddaughter, which I couldn't seem to shut up it was mewing in the car all the way home. I've forgotten how quickly some favourite toys shift, it reminded me of the year way back, apropos of the first Toy Story, every little boy wanted Buzz Lightyear and then suddenly all the shops had sold out, but I'd got my order in early so whilst I was standing in line holding the much sought after toy waiting to pay, some desperate person offered to buy mine for 3 times the price, I wasn't swayed, because I knew it was the only thing my son wanted that year.

you are not alone - fed up of blaring music, ads that are screaming how much better/easier my life will be if I buy this;. I comfort myself with the knowledge that it will soon be over for another 9 months

Why should anyone who doesn't enjoy the Christmas season be called a moaner ? The question was asked and answers given, was that enough ? No, those that were not thrilled at the thought of it were called moaners and reminded they would be a long time dead. Some enjoy it, some do not. Just as some love sun bathing, I do not because I get prickly heat , so is that moaning or just stating a fact.

Anyway the thread was meant to be about that. Most people are just trying to be sociable by replying and polite by replying on topic. It's not like the xmas "moaners" are running around the forums forcing their moans on threads where everyone is trying to be happy about it. That would be worthy of criticism.

I think what essentially adds up to almost indifference (I mentioned Shrug earlier) is sometimes interpreted as moaning and groaning. I also think one can say what irritates one about this time of year without being accused of moaning. I'm certainly not moaning and groaning, just saying how this time of year strikes me. I'm not in the least bit unhappy about the social pressure I mentioned, just stating that it's there as a fact. There are enough stories of people feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing to bear that fact out.

Personally I'd describe my own feeling as underwhelmed or, more succinctly, Shrug.

Been hedging today cos it's not raining and it's mild. I even got bitten by a midge or two! Midges are a thing (things! millions of them) that I hate would rather not have to deal with in the summer months. I might do some more hedging on Christmas Day.

But Mawbroon, I think that was exactly WHY I had my initial moan (my first response to this thread). It's the sheer irritation of something that comes so inevitably and repetitively every year and lasts so long when it does. :D

IngeJones, thank you. That does make sense. At last! I guess I personally haven't felt the slowdown in pace at midwinter yet having always had the usual distractions of busyness or, if not the usual ones, plenty of others to fill up any gaps. That is a good explanation.

I am going to put my head above the parapet here and ask why we have to moan about “this time of year” at all as if it comes as any sort of surprise -December usually follows November and we have all had years and years to get used to it - or about the quality ofTV (switch it off and read a book? Go to the pub?) or about TV announcers or any of the myriad things that seem to get up people’s noses when there’s worse going on all around us. By all means reject the tinselled razzmatazz if you want, the religion which underlies it for some of us if you wish or the extravagance of others, as each is entitled to their own opinion and way of celebrating or not.
But all this moaning and indignation? It seems a very (dare I say it) grannyish thing to do. No wonder there is this image of biddies with their knitting lamenting the shortcomings of the younger generation.
As one of the recently bereaved I have already said I refuse to subscribe to the moaners and groaners but I am at the same time obviously sensitive to the emotions of those to whom every decoration or carol is a painful reminder of better times.
I just prefer to be prepared to remember those happier days and let the tears flow if they want to.
Peace to you all, may you be with those you love, in person or in spirit.

Baggs, one reason might be because the rest of the year we have business to attend to and interesting stuff in the news to grab our attention. Obviously when a grief is still new and raw it makes no difference, but once it's at the stage where you can be distracted, then normal daily life as well as emerging world events can be a distraction. As well as the jokes and arguments among online friends.

At Christmas, the world goes into a kind of go-slow. Politicians go home to their families, shops close, shows on TV and radio are pre-recorded to reduce the number of live presenters needing to be paid extra. Most of your online friends are offline due to having to pay attention to their families. Even many of the neighbors are away for a few days - meaning their houses are all dark and the street is quieter. Then a kind of loneliness and feeling of suspended animation can occur - and with the fewer distractions, you are more likely to notice what you're missing.

Nowadays that bit of the year seems to stretch from xmas day all the way thru to the day after new year, as people take longer xmas breaks now.

I think things are sad 'at this time of year' because its clear that life does go on, whatever your circumstances may be. That's not always easy to accept.

Yes, that's why I gave mine, in answer.

And here comes some more courage.... because of how I feel about Christmas (see above), I've never understood that thing where people claim sad things are worse "at this time of year". I just don't get it. Any grieving I have had to do about close relatives has not felt worse "at this time of year".

So—and this will be the controversial bit that some might find challengingly offensive even though that is not the intention of saying it—I tend to think that the bringing out and dusting down of that phrase, "at this time of year", is rather thinly disguised emotional blackmail. That's what it feels like to me. I'm aware that no-one else might feel this way. I'm just saying how it feels to me as part of the conversation. I'm not attacking anyone by stating my point of view nor am I asking anyone to like it, just to accept that such points of view exist and are valid.

We were asked on this thread. Just saying.

Actually I held back after seeing the responses to some comments. Then I remembered my current byeword: write with courage. So I answered the title of the thread.

As someone who doesn't like Christmas, I always make the most of it. I always hope that everyone has a lovely time, I enjoy my dinner, and love seeing my family. I keep my opinion to myself unless asked..

Jaycee5, yes I realise she didn't mean it like that, but still ... actually making the most of it while we're here can also include doing whatever we feel like at Christmas, even if that's being fed-up with all the glittery over-the-topness.

For what it's worth Baggs I agree with every word in your last comment ... not quite at that point in our house yet, but I think we will do the same soon. We have a young grandson visiting this year, so justify the tree as being "for him." Decorations etc are getting fewer and fewer as is the amount of cards, food etc.. If I see one more 'Plan for the day' article in magazines, I shall scream. When MrKid and I took ourselves away to a little cottage one Christmas, we bought a £10 meal deal on Christmas Eve (reduced at the end of the day) from M&S, ate it sitting on the settee and fell asleep in front of the telly. Best Christmas ever for us. Then the grandson was born and it all changed (for the time being).

What I dislike about "this time of year" is first and foremost the short hours of daylight. I also dislike the social pressure I feel to conform to what seem like almost universal expectations in relation to Christmas/the winter solstice.

Not that I do conform very much. I've no idea yet what we'll be eating on Christmas day except that it won't be the 'traditional' Christmas dinner. And I haven't put up any decorations. No-one else in the household seems that bothered or, if they are, it's not bothered enough to do anything to help like gettng stuff ot of the loft and puttng it away again afterwards. One year our Christmas tree stayed up until June. So my attitude is Shrug.

I like the present giving and exchanging between close family and the sending of greetings cards to people you don't see very often because they live elsewhere, but I think card giving to people you are seeing right up to a day or two before Christmas Day is silly and wasteful. I think there is pressure to conform there too, possibly not conscious pressure by one's workmates but one still feels it.

OurKidl I don't think Paddyann meant it that way. She was just in effect saying 'you're a long time dead, so enjoy life now'. She was talking about the living, not those who have died or about bereavement.
Her second comment could have been better worded but, again, she was pointing out (accurately) that she had not been talking about the bereaved but about people generally.
It is a shame that anyone is upset by comments but there are people who are as ready to give upset as they are to take it. People need to be careful that what they are criticising others for is not just a response to an equally unkind or tactless comment.

Paddyann That is a very tactless comment to make on an open forum. Some of us here have experienced bereavement; some know we will experience it very soon. You don't know our personal circumstances and have turned what should have been a lighthearted chat about our feelings at the over-hyping of Christmas into something which has unnecessarily upset several of us.

Inge You have put it in a nutshell. We really should have had two separate threads - one for Christmas lovers and one for haters, though I suspect that most of us are somewhere in between - missing lost/absent loved ones (and pets), scoring departed old friends off the Card list, adjusting to new arrangements for the day itself, coping with illness, finding the shopping/wrapping/cooking too draining, especially in the freezing weather we have had, but trying to make a Merry Christmas 'for the children'.

I really wish I had not come on to this thread at all, because the overload of raw sorrow and grief is too much for me to bear. Paddyann (who has troubles of her own) should have started another thread to celebrate the joys of Christmas, reminding us that the festival is designed to bring light, fun and laughter into the darkest of days.

As I have written on many cards this year:

May the Spirit of Christmas bring you peace and comfort in your sorrow

Sorry to hear u lost Gracie mawbroon?.

I am not even going to think of heartache of losing life partner.

However yes losing Rosie was trigger after major spinal surgery I. August to me getting depressed that god do recognised it and am climbing back up slowly it was just last straw.

Commiserations on losing Rosie celebgran , we lost Gracie in May and I was in bits.
But you are right, losing your life partner is in an entirely different league.

Can I just say evennbefore estrangement I got so fed up with commercial hype and gift books in every blessed paper from ablutmseptember onwards.

I love receiving cards from old friends and decorating our tree ? and attending Xmas carols at local free church despite being catholic they are so welcoming!
However all this want want want from kids and commercial hype bah humbug?

With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer. It's the most wonderful time of the year

Maniac thanks for mentioning that,
Sadly this is 8th Xmas we won't see our beloved daughter or 3 little Grandaughters
?For everyone in that painful boat and recently bereaved.
We are looking forward to Xmas with our dear son albeit 185 journey
We lost our darling King Charles Rosie in October I know it's not In Same league as losing dh apologies if insensitive to those who have.
However she was a huge comfort to me especially last 8 years andwas 15 and half! I miss her dreadfully.