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Feeling weary with friends demands

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Christinefrance Fri 16-Feb-18 12:44:11

Yes I don't understand that either, or does she just not want to cook or clean?. I can sympathise as I don't like to cook but needs must.
You probably need to make yourself unavailable at times or you will be enabling this helpless state. There are plenty of good ready meals available to tide her over. Ease off gradually for both your sakes.

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Oopsadaisy12 Fri 16-Feb-18 12:33:03

Unless she is disabled, she is perfectly capable of organising food for herself, even if she buys ready meals and zaps them. If she in unable to hold a duster, then help her to employ a cleaner. Then you could set a date a couple of times a month for coffee and cake, go to her house and take it with you if money or time is an issue. At least you will be keeping an eye on her, but from a distance.
You’ve been a very good friend to her but it might be time for her to make new friends and get some new skills, ie cooking! I really don’t think that avoiding her will help, you will feel guilty and she will be upset, sit her down and have a talk and tell her firmly how you see your relationship going forward.

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MissAdventure Fri 16-Feb-18 12:17:00

Why can't your friend cook or clean?

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hannafore Fri 16-Feb-18 12:12:38

Would love any advise. A friend of mine recently lost her husband very suddenly which was a shock to all who knew him. My friend has not been coping well so i have helped her around her home, stayed with her for a few days to give her support while her mother was in hospital and basically have given her help as she needed it. She cannot cook,cannot clean and with her husband enjoyed four holidays a year, twice abroad and twice in the UK. She is now asking me to go with her on days out on my day off (one day a week) and i cannot afford it having a home to run myself and my own family and limited finances. I have explained this to her so many times but she seems to have no concept. I am starting to make excuses to avoid her so any advise would be appreciated. I do like her and feel very sorry for her and do feel compassionate but she has become extremely needy and is calling me for help for things that i think she should learn to do herself. I have managed to talk her into going to bereavement counselling, and have arranged a gardener to deal with her garden so that is a start but any other advise would be great thank you.

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