Feeling ruffled (again!)

I would certainly go back after all (childishly) you were there first! I suspect you have almost frightened yourself a bit standing up to her but you got to the truth. Regarding the fashion show I would ask one of the others if they are going and say you would love to have gone but didn't feel right about the Charity, see if they knew and felt ok with it. Nothing aggressive at all. If I was feeling really naughty I might call out to the lady to check the Charity! This lady is a well worn type usually very good company and often kind but there is always a price in my experience.

Bluebelle I think I have covered inappropriate behaviour in my post and it is sad when even for the best of motives what people often achieve is the opposite to what their intentions may be and some don't even cotton on in spite of being told quite bluntly. Total lack of empathy!
Evangelism does not need to be in everyones face though and the very best evangelist is the person who lives out their faith so well that not a word needs to be said because they just shine with it. It is a pity that there are not more of those around. Having said that therefore wherever there are people is where evangelism takes place.
We often get door step evangelists at our door and they are from what I would describe as cults and we wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. If we don't have the time or energy to engage (which is most of the time sadly) we just say "no thank you" and leave it at that. I would probably be saying the same wherever!
Speaking in general terms, it is also a fact that when God is speaking into someone's heart there can be great resistance and so the reaction to an overt approach by a person whether they are enthusiastic or gentle can provoke a strong reaction and can even be quite out of proportion. It says in the bible about people being called of God for specific tasks and I often think that some people are clearly not 'called' when they are so inappropriate but we are all only human and what do I know!

I totally agree lisalou except I think on line 5 you mean NOT interested ?

Was NOT interested in her message - typo

To be honest, evangelising annoys me, always has; BUT, in the same way as I am entitled to my opinion, this lady is entitled to have and support hers. What would really get my goat here, would be the undercover nature of it all - " come to lunch" does not equate to "come to bible study", "come to a charity funded show for pregnant women" is not the same as "support the anti-abortion group I do". If she were honest, I would probably have long since told her that I was interested in her message, appreciated the sentiment and to please not bring it up to me any more. Because of the subterfuge involved, I would be leaving. Having said that, I would go to one last meeting and explain why

Synonymous a women’s activity group is not the place to be evangelising, no wonder people are becoming intolerant it would be the same if someone joined and started to go on and on advertising their own business or their favourite charity, fine to mention it but to try and recruit others is pure bad manners Religion should not be about a big club that you get brownie points for joining new members The very reason I wont engage with door step evangelists It’s for me to decide if I want more information not for th em to throw it in my face
This lady has brought her religion into the club and over indulged herself in recruitment and that can’t be right immaterial of wether it’s for abortion or feeding the poor, it’s inappropiate
Unfortunately most other member seem to have fallen under her spell, she is obviously charismatic and fun and pulled them in like the pied piper
I would find another group Eglantine, disappointing as it is you can always return if she moves on

If you enjoy the activity why not continue going for another 3 sessions and see how it goes. I would turn down all invitations from this woman by simply saying "No thank-you" politely. You do not need to give a reason. Personally, I would not confront her about her behaviour.

I am a little perturbed by the description of this new lady's behaviour as deceit and manipulation when it is probably only what we all do to interest others in what we ourselves are interested in. The OP is feeling uncomfortable and excluded because she is not interested whereas the other group members are either interested or not bothered and can take it or leave it. This kind of thing builds on itself until the affected person feels excluded whether or not they actually are and that is when it is best to find a people group where it is possible to feel comfortable with kindred spirits.

Sadly there seems to be a growing intolerance to evangelism which is something that has actually been on going for centuries since Jesus instructed his followers to make disciples of all nations (see Matthew 28:18-20) and this lady is doing only what comes as naturally to her as breathing because that is what she is taught in her church. She knows that she has a responsibility to those around her to make sure that they have heard the gospel. Sometimes believers are so concerned that people should truly understand what their life choices ultimately mean for them that they forget that it is not their responsibilty but the Lord's and that everyone has been given free will and has the choice to take it or leave it. Sadly there are many people who have more enthusiasm than empathy and don't know when to give people space even to thimk. Not every person or church gets everything right or everything wrong - it is just that they are trying to carry out what is known as 'The Great Commission".

Are there others in the club who feel the same as you? If so, could you pal up with them rather than be intimidated by this person? Maybe arrange your own separate meetings?

So you knew of this church Eglantine? Or the person close to you knew of it . I still think club members will decide if it's right for them, nothing illegal going on . Hope you can set aside your feelings towards the woman and continue to attend your club

Yes, I’m afraid Annie that I do have (not me, but someone close) experience of their activities.
It was for very serious medical reasons and broke her heart but the protesters outside the clinic decided that everyone going in was a murderer and it was horrible.

Eglantine, do you know her charity gather at abortion clinics shouting murderer or are they a charity which help women who think abortion is their only way out of a very difficult situation . There are such groups

But she only came clean when I pressed her eazybee. Otherwise I would have gone thinking I was supporting a birth charity, like BirthRight.

I think I would leave the group now Eglantyne and join another one.It’s annoying, but this kind of thing happens quite often in group activities, and if she is popular then there isn’t much that you can do.She will continue to ruffle you if you stay.

Nobody forces people to go to the activities that this woman organises; if they don't like them they won't go again. They choose to go, as you choose not to go.
I don't see how you you can accuse her of deceit, as you appear to have full knowledge of the type of activities she supports. Why is everyone else incapable of understanding?

H, I meant practical help for woman who would not choose an abortion if they had real practical help to enable them to make a different choice. I’m getting myself in knots here!

Sorry, Annie, I didn’t mean she was bullying. I meant I consider the anti abortion charity to be bullying and intimidating. Actually I would support a charity that gave real, practical help to pregnant women who feel they have no other choice but abortion, even though it’s not what they really want. But screaming and yelling “ Murderer” at someone isn’t what I want to be part of.

Far North, it’s hard to explain but because a number of the group now meet regularly at church activities, at other stuff and go to her home a lot, when we meet there is lots of chatter that I can’t join in with, because I wasn’t there. So I’m on the periphery.

We do less of the original activity too because there of the time spent chatting and the others making arrangements for meeting up.

You said "Now I feel I can’t go back to the club. It’s sort of become her club"

In what way has it become her club? What has changed about the actual club, other than her giving invitations?

I agree with you Eglantine, just think it such a pity if you feel you should leave a club you enjoy. She is against abortion you are not, others at the club may well be split on this too, if they are pro they will not support her charity if they are anti they will not. You didn't say what form her bullying took. If she is a bully then do try to stand your ground, other members will realise, if they haven't already. Go to the club but refuse her invitations , someone is sure to ask you why you refuse, this will give you the chance to explain.

Perhaps also ask her out right why she doesn’t tell others what her real agenda is.

Of course you can go to the next club meeting, in fact I think it is even more important that you do. This woman is deceitful & manipulating , you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Don’t let this sanctimonious person edge you out, carry on being yourself, just be polite if necessary & avoid conversing any more than necessary.

Oh yes Annie, absolutely it’s up to them. But they might not know what it is really supporting and they will have supported It financially by the time they find out.

I really think she should have been honest, rather than saying it was a birth charity, then trying to sidestep into a pregnancy advice charity and only coming clean as to what it was actually going to support when I pressed the issue.
She has a viewpoint. I disagreed with it and with her pretending it was something else to get me to pay to go and so support what I believe is wrong.

It was the underhand side of it that ruffled me, like when I was invited to lunch and found myself in the middle of a recruitment to Bible Study.

Surely members are free to accept or not, if they do attend and it isn't what they want they will refuse the next invite ?

I agree with Bluegal in that I'm not a "joiner". Clubs tend to get "cliquey" and just too reminiscent of the
school playground! Much happier in a one to one or small group situation, plus there's less likelihood of anyone being able to manipulate the group for their own ends.

A most unpleasant time for you, and devious and untruthful of this person to use your friendship group to push her evangelism. i am sure that others will feel uncomfortable at the anti-abortion fashion show. Like you, I would not be able to speak out, maybe take the higher moral ground and just distance yourself from anything she is involved in? Easier said than done, I know, but hopefully others will see her for what she is. Don't bad mouth her ( not that I think you would), just say, if asked, that you are uncomfortable with this person's taking over of your previously friendly and casual group to push her evangelism.