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AIBU

Is this trespass?

(96 Posts)
Carolebarrel Thu 19-Apr-18 19:38:58

Need to rant. I came home from work today to find that my neighbour (a real pain) has been in my back garden looking for her cat. I only knew because my bins, which I push against the gate, we're moved. I've told her not to come into my garden when I am not there, but should I tell the police or wait and see if it happens again?

BlueBelle Sat 21-Apr-18 10:29:40

Well in fairness the story has changed she forced my gate before it sounded like a neighbour just popped in for a quick look for her cat which didn’t saound at all like a police affair . Rag dolls are hugely expensive so you d think they d take more care no wonder they were panicking
The car business does sound unpleasant however I still think the best policy is to stay as friendly as possible with neighbours
My neighbours kids ball was always coming over especially in the evenings and I had a rule with them that I d retrieve it twice but more than that they d have to leave it till the next day it seemed to work

ReadyMeals Sat 21-Apr-18 10:19:56

Yes, I think the cat is not the major problem here lol

Nannarose Sat 21-Apr-18 10:13:43

Goodness, so you have other reasons to feel both annoyed and wary. I did wonder, from your last post, if they are from another country?
I know friends (and parents of friends) have had to get their heads around our ideas about front gardens and drives. Apparently in many countries, the front part - or any unsecured part - is considered socially (and in some cases, legally) public or communal property, so walking across a garden, or parking on a 'drive' is quite acceptable.
I know that doesn't explain blocking your drive or damaging your fence, it was just a thought.

I live on a street where the layout is quite open with our drives and front gardens - and as you'd expect, we respect each other's spaces. My neighbour (not from the UK) gets rather nervous, and wanted to 'barricade' her front garden, which would be almost impossible, given the layout. She explained that where she is from, members of the public would expect to walk across her garden, look in her windows and park on her drive - if you want your front to be private, you barricade it, and she is still amazed by letter boxes (instead of mail boxes at the locked front gate).

I do hope you can resolve this amicably, it sounds like rather extreme thoughtlessness rather than anything worse. Good luck.

PS: Have absolutely no idea what an indoor rag doll cat is!

dorsetpennt Sat 21-Apr-18 10:06:32

She was looking for her cat, unless she did some damage or had done so in the past, what's the problem ? Glad my neighbours are more understanding .

Carolebarrel Fri 20-Apr-18 22:27:22

Thanks everyone (apart from those who really weren't trying to be helpful, or even pleasant). I do live alone, and the neighbours who came in are a young and rather selfish couple. I've had to put up with them allowing their visitors to park on my drive without asking me, and also parking across my drive so that I can't get in or out! Coming home to find she'd forced my gate and been in my garden was the last straw. Her cat is an indoor rag doll cat, but she leaves her doors open so hence the cat gets out! Happy days.

Hm999 Fri 20-Apr-18 22:08:33

I'm quite shocked by some of the lack of empathy here. I wouldn't dream of going in someone else's garden without their express permission - my kids were taught to knock on the door and ask for their ball, and if no-one was home, go back later.
If you live alone, it must be quite unnerving to come home and find someone's been round the back of your home.
In this day and age, I would have thought it advisable to have side gates locked, it's much easier to break in through a back window when you're out (unless, of course, your neighbours are sunbathing in your garden!)

bikergran Fri 20-Apr-18 18:51:43

My garden is my garden I have paid for it the same as I have paid for my house it belongs to me its my property and no one else.

I would not like anyone coming into my garden uninvited unless! it was urgent or something.

I wouldnt dream of walking into anyone elses.

We have neighbours whos granchildrens balls come over,
I was sat quiet watching tv one evening when I caught sight of someone in my garden bending down near conservatory..I went out and it was the neighbour..he obviously thought there was no one in...I asked what he was doing and he said retrieving a ball.

I have said to them I don't mind them coming in to get the ball as was no problem, I have gc myself and realise balls travel.So long as they just come get the ball then go straight back out.

Aepgirl Fri 20-Apr-18 18:47:25

What makes anybody think they can just go into somebody's garden without permission? If your cat is an indoor cat that's where it should be and you should make sure it doesn't escape. I'm fed up with cats digging up my garden - if I let my dog loose on other's gardens I hate to think of the reaction.

Gaggi3 Fri 20-Apr-18 18:00:55

Interested in the tracking device mentioned which says it allows you to tell your cat to come home. Have you ever successfully told a cat to do anything?

inishowen Fri 20-Apr-18 17:55:20

Here's a true story to lighten the mood. My adult son was living with us for a while. He looked out the window and saw a rabbit in the road. He ran out and managed to catch it. We then knocked on doors to see if we could find the owner. No-one was home but we saw a rabbit hutch in a neighbour's garden. So, my son went round and put the rabbit in the hutch. At that point the neighbour came home. My son was just emerging from their garden and explained he was putting their rabbit back. The look on their faces! They didn't know me or my son and must have thought it was a likely story.

HannahLoisLuke Fri 20-Apr-18 17:11:27

I do sympathise Carolebarrel, I have neighbour's cats in my garden all the time and keep a small water pistol as a deterrent. My neighbours though would never dream of coming into my garden uninvited, and I'd be most put out if they did. I do have a locked gate though but that's just for general security. The only time I've had a request to come into my garden to search for a missing cat was from my former neighbour who had moved about half a mile away and who's cat had gone walkabout. She thought it might have come back to its previous home and so of course I let her come and look around my garden, shed and garage. No luck, though I understand the cat came home in its own good time, as they nearly always do.

BlueBelle Fri 20-Apr-18 17:11:23

Do get this into perspective we have examples of people really invading peoples gardens sitting on their garden furniture or hanging clothes on rheir clothes line now that is really invasive, but looking for a car (unless it’s happening regularly and you believe she has another different reason), really isn’t too invasive. With a new decent lock and bolt it shouldn’t happen again and unless she is a really awful neighbour be pleasant to her maybe she’s lonely and worries a lot about her cat

JenniferEccles Fri 20-Apr-18 16:50:25

I don't think it's petty either, but of course the police wouldn't be interested because, as others have said, it's a civil matter.

You have every right to be annoyed at her coming into your garden uninvited, and as for asking you to take down fence panels so she can go into another garden - well that's just ridiculous.

You could try telling her you were thinking of having cctv cameras fitted. Hopefully the threat might make her mend her ways. She sounds a nightmare.

threexnanny Fri 20-Apr-18 16:32:48

I don't think this is petty at all. We had a neighbour who came into our garden when we were away 'to check' it. He was not asked to do so and he'd climbed the lock gate to get in then helped himself to our fruit and veg.!

nicki1948 Fri 20-Apr-18 16:12:43

Police have more important things to do, why do you mind your neighbour going into your garden to look for her cat?

123kitty Fri 20-Apr-18 16:07:11

Think some GNs have been rather harsh carolebarrel (yours wasn't an aibu post) you wanted our suggestions to resolve your neighbour entering your garden problem. A keypad lock on the gate will keep your neighbour out. Really don't recommend contacting the police. Good luck.

lemongrove Fri 20-Apr-18 16:06:52

Carol You need a bolt, or a couple of bolts on your gate( from the other side obviously)grin leave them on when you go out, to deter burglars/neighbours.
I would always check with a neighbout before going into their garden, but not everybody would.
Calling a cat’s name is more effective anyway, they usually appear.

sarahellenwhitney Fri 20-Apr-18 15:55:43

Carolebarrel
Have read your other post and asking you remove your fence is taking it too far.
I would have a chat with others in your area and inform them of your experience and what this person wants to do. But NO way take down or allow this woman to take down your fence. Make it clear to her where you draw the line. Only when you find any damage or interference is the time to call the police Ever thought of installing CCTV. They are not that expensive and you can buy cameras that record for you to play back. Worth it for peace of mind.

Benji55 Fri 20-Apr-18 15:52:48

Many many years ago in a previous property we lived in, my husband and I came home to see our neighbours sitting in our garden, at our garden furniture and when asked what they were doing they said they were sat there as our garden had more sun than theirs and they knew we were out! Must admit we felt this was very cheeky, however, we pulled up a couple of chairs and had a really good afternoon with them. We would never have done something like that but some people just have no sense of what’s appropriate behaviour. I wonder if your neighbour had maybe knocked and realising you were out thought she would nip into your garden to look for her cat. Asking you if she could remove a fence panel is a bit much and you say she is a pain so like others have said a bolt on the gate should do the trick. As for calling the police I wouldn’t but I’m sure you know they probably wouldn’t come anyway. Hope you get it resolved as issues with neighbours can be very stressful.

beeelaine Fri 20-Apr-18 15:49:52

also... wedge your panels in. Saves them being damaged by someone trying to get them out - you need at least two people to get them back in and even if you can they will probably break.

beeelaine Fri 20-Apr-18 15:45:47

having had neighbours in the past come into our garden i know how it feels - its an invasion of privacy (especially if you happen to be in there having a nice relaxing time in your PJs for a morning brew) and rude really - as if you want to go in someones garden you should ask first - you wouldnt walk into someones home, and you shouldnt walk into a garden either (unless its a shared/community garden).

We put up locked gates and it solved the problem immediately. Tell her she is not to go in the garden when you are not there, but to knock on the door and ask to go in when you are in, and definately no moving of anything at all for any reason while you are not there, then get the locked gates - gives you peace of mind and its a good security thing to do anyway - if she can get in so can someone who wants to rob your house.

I think the easiest way to do this is to say if she comes in she will set of the motion cameras which records any movement - people dont like to be filmed so it will probably put her off (whether you have cameras or not).

Problem is, there are some really wierd neighbours about, and i have friends who have had plants actually dug out of their garden, potted plants go walkies etc, certain things destroyed that they dont like to look at (strangest thing is one of those items you could only see if you went into my friends garden so how they knew it was there was a mystery) - plants are only to be found in next doors garden, god only knows what she is doing in there - get some cameras in they are cheap on ebay.

sarahellenwhitney Fri 20-Apr-18 15:36:32

As long as there was no damage done what's the problem.?
Always make sure any out buildings are locked before you go out then nothing can get in
Inform your neighbour of this but as for telling the police that's going a bit too far.

grannyticktock Fri 20-Apr-18 15:36:15

I can't get heated about this either way.

First, I can't understand why a cat that has (possibly) gone into a neighbour's garden is regarded as a crisis at all. Most cats roam through many gardens, and find their way home again when they're ready. The neighbour sounds a bit obsessive, and to even think of removing part of the fence is nonsense.

But if it was for some reason a real crisis (the cat ill? injured?) I wouldn't really mind if someone came into my garden looking for a lost pet, providing they did no damage. This week I have been struggling to minimise damage done to my garden by cats, badgers, mice and a heron, so a human being would not add greatly to my worries. If your back garden is a place you want to keep secure and private, lock the access to it - but be aware that this may limit the help you are able to receive in any emergency, especially if you live alone.

greeneyes Fri 20-Apr-18 15:24:48

I though gransnet were above harsh posts.

I agree she has reason to be annoyed. Its only polite and good manners to ask first before going into others property.
Glad I don't post much.

ReadyMeals Fri 20-Apr-18 15:23:26

I agree with everyone that it's a civil matter not criminal. On the other hand if she's that worried about her cat getting out of her garden maybe she ought to keep it indoors or in a mesh enclosure when it's outside.