Marrying a long term partner

Just an aside. I’m pretty certain there’s no longer a widows pension.

There is a bereavement allowance that lasts for 52 weeks but no ongoing pension.

Midgey How did his ex wife inherite she is no longer next of kin his daughter yes is entitled to the inheritance but not the ex! (I like watching heir hunters).
Some very sad stories on here and all for the want of a piece of paper ?

If you have no objections on principle to marriage, it would be simplest to get married with no fuss. We went for the registry office and two witnesses options when we got married....fifty two years

The bottom line is that Marriage is a legal contract along with the pros and cons that binding contracts entail.

Once case I know of was a young woman who spent her own hard earned money to furnish their (rented, shared) apartment with fine art, expensive furniture, a piano etc.

When he died suddenly after eight years, the apartment was still in his name only, so his family took the furniture along with all her belongings then gave up the lease so they could claim the security deposit. She ended up on the street with nothing.

Here's a link that is handy. www.choose.co.uk/guide/financial-rights-for-unmarried-couples.html

I think the CAB would be able to advise you on some of these questions. You would not receive a Widows Pension unless you had been married to your partner but uncertain if you would receive a funeral grant ( think this may be applicable to who has arranged and will be paying the funeral expenses). You have to have the death certificate plus another form you are given when registering a death before you can make any funeral arrangements. If there is no-one else to register it except you who would? You and your partner could each see a solicitor to arrange Lasting Power of Attorneys ..if you think it necessary. Also draw up Wills if you have,nt already done so. If you do decide to marry, you can have the simplest of Register Office weddings or nowadays have music and readings as well if you choose to. For your own peace of mind book an appt with your Citizens Advice, have your all your questions written down before you go. I have had to use them on more than one occasion and found them very helpful.

Sadly it can cause all sorts of problems. I did a memorial last summer for a woman whose long-term partner died in a car-accident. His wife was informed as NOK, and kept the partner away from the hospital and the funeral. The memorial that we did in her garden was lovely, but nothing could diminish the grief of not having been able to say goodbye to him.

An old friend of mine lived with a lovely man who was separated from his wife, because they were both catholic his wife refused him a divorce. They were separated for over 2 years before my friend met him so not caused a marriage breakdown. My friend dated him and after a year they lived together. They had a baby son and were planning their wedding five years later after he had finally got the divorce. He was killed in a car accident and she and his baby son got nothing. His mother who had not agreed with his divorce organised the funeral, and his ex wife was invited along with his 2 daughters from that marriage but my friend was not invited or and when she rang his Mum and said she wanted to go she was told no because his ex wife was going. His Mother as legal next of kin arranged his burial and sorted out his finances and gave everything to his ex wife because in her eyes they were still married as she did not recognise divorce. A marriage certificate is not just a random piece of paper it means you are legally recognised as next of kin.

Oh for goodness sake, there's minimal difference between a civil partnership and a register office wedding! I had the latter 35 years ago and it was very, very simple. You can make them more "wordy" now, but the basic register office "service" is surely OK for anyone who doesn't want a big fuss? Just do it!

sadly have recent similar salutary experiences and urge you to marry. One - she lived with him for over 26 years, bought an overseas property together, she sold her home moved in with him. She nursed him through a terminal illness, then found out he had left everything to his children who promptly tried to evict her and even take the villa! She fought it (besides the devastation of his loss and betrayal) but it was ugly and unnecessary when she too is not well. 2nd - I am dealing with a commercial matter - professional papers needed for legal matter re property, the man died and despite living as man and wife for some 30 years, in law his partner is can do nothing - trustees have all rights (she helped build his business) and legally she is not recognised. She says she has lost thousands. Make matching wills, set up a family trust if necessary and power of attorney and living wills. Good luck - marrying late with children on both sides we have tried to protect each other and what happens when we go so there isn't a vicious fight for either of us to deal with as everything is clear and we can sleep at night now.

You've been given very sound advice, OP - don't dither now and maybe live to regret it bitterly.

Aside from the fee, a register office ceremony can be as cheap and simple as you like. All you need is two witnesses.

And if you haven't already, do make wills. Even if you've legally tied the knot, lack of a will can cause all sorts of headaches any surviving partner can certainly do without.

There's a challenge in the supreme court now from a heterosexual couple who want the right to enter into a civil partnership:

www.aol.co.uk/news/2018/05/13/heterosexual-couple-take-civil-partnership-fight-to-uks-highest/

I feel this would be the ideal solution to those who want to stay together but not marry, so I hope it will come into law eventually.

Even if the OP gets some sort of legal agreement, the 'rights' of blood relatives trump everything else.

Annsixty, an example of a gracious and sincere apology. Not everyone can do that so well.

To the OP, for Heavens sake! Its hard to realise that there are still some people out there who do not know that if you are not legally married, you have NO RIGHTS.

My advice would be either see a solicitor and get things down in writing asap, or just book a slot at the Registrars Office and get married. Just do something soon.

Apologies Iam an illconsidered and unfair comment of mine.
It came from a personal experience and I know is not typical and I shouldn't let one incident colour my judgement.

annsixty, I know many people who aren't married but aren't in the wanting their cake and eat it gang. The younger couples are almost always saving up for the big celebration their generation sees as an essential part of getting married. Meanwhile, they're living together, buying their first homes and often having a child or two.
My older friends didn't see the need for the "piece of paper from the city hall" to keep them tight and true. Many of them are marrying later in life as the reality of what can happen if one dies hits home.

Yes, that is why we got married after years together. A friend who worked for the government, explained how difficult it could be if one of us died and we'd never married. We had a quickie wedding with just us and the AC there. I feel secure now - everything is sorted , just because of that " piece of paper ".

Some of the things you mention can be dealt with, one by one: make wills, take out Lasting Powers of Attorney, take out life insurance naming each other as beneficiaries, make sure any property you own is in joint names,etc. Getting married covers some but not all of these.
Feeling "no need" to get married is rather short-sighted, as one of the purposes of marriage is to put these practical measures in place and give more security to couples. If you're going to tackle each of the items separately, you might as well marry.
Widow's pensions and benefits are usually only for people under retirement age, but they're payable their a spouse, not to anyone else. Occupational pensions sometimes provide for the spouse of deceased pensioner (e.g. half of the pension, for the life of the surviving spouse) but if you're not a spouse, you don't qualify. Some element of a deceased's State pension may be passed to a spouse in certain cases, but if you're not a spouse, you don't get it.
Most people who are committed to each other for life demonstrate this by getting married. That's what marriage is there for. It's your choice.

its a massive issue in the UK that so many people think there are common law partner rights.

There arent.

But not enough people realise this until its too late.

If you are commited and you want to be each others next of kin and want each other looked after when you die etc, marry! it doesnt not need to involve a wedding if thats not your cup of tea, but marry!

Live in partners want to have their cake and to eat it.
How simple to live together with the benefits and just walk away when it suits . Divorce takes time, effort and a great deal of money.
To just leave with all the benefits is cloud cuckoo land.

The news reported recently that His Honour Judge Mumby, the head of the Family Divison, wants live in partners to have the same security as those who are married. I can't imagine this happening very quickly. Heterosexual couples can't yet have a civil partnership.
Gay friends were relieved when civil partnerships became possible. Prior to that they had significant difficulties with pensions and health issues. One close friend was in ICU and his partner of 25 years was not allowed to be with him or to be given information about the prognosis. They were at the front of the queue when civil partnerships became possible. We need to move into the 21st century don't we.

I met my partner and we lived together for 18 months with no intention of either us getting married again. Then one day he "popped the question" the reason being that he wanted to make sure I would be "looked after financially" if he died before me. Sadly, this happened 8 months ago and I have been eternally grateful that we did tie the knot. I am not well off by any means, but it does mean that I got a widows pension and bereavement allowance (although it only last for 12 months, together with an upfront payment of £2,000) and all the entitlements due to being a married couple.
After all, marriage just a legal piece of paper, but without it, I would be in a less privileged position than I am now. It also saves a whole lot of heartache when having to deal with pension companies, banks, insurance companies etc. I know how difficult I found it all and we were married!
Good luck on whatever you decide to do

It’s very important that you get this sorted straightaway, OP. There was a long thread on Mumsnet recently with some very sad stories of women who had lost everything when their partners died. To be honest I was shocked that so many women thought they would be treated as married because they were in “common law” relationships. Legally, there’s no such thing. No need for a big fuss. You can get married in a register office in your lunch break for next to nothing, and your position will be much more secure.

Bearing in mind Nanabilly’s cautionary tale, of course.

A cautionary tale my friends live in partner of 25 years had never divorced, he got Alzheimer’s she wore herself to the ground looking after him then she got cancer she needed to go to hospital for an operation and put her partner into a good care home for respite while she recover Unbeknown to her the wife found out where he was, removed him to a home of her choice gave the new home strict instructions that my friend could not be told where he was He subsequently had a fall and died some months later my friend had never seen him again and was not told until after he was dead and buried
She was totally and utterly distraught

I know one lady who lived with her man for years and years and he would not get married no matter how many times she asked him ,then he got terminal cancer and asked her to marry him so she did ..He died a couple of weeks later . Then she discovered his own company was massively in debt and she had never known anything about it ..no idea at all . She had to repay all of his debts and it took her years but if they had not married she would have been able to walk away and his adult family would have had to repay it . She said "if he were still alive I'd kill him" she also said she hated him but I think she was just angry and felt used.
She was never the same person after that and had massive trouble trusting any man again.
So if you are thinking of getting married to him after all these years make some checks on certain things first , his finances for one .