Gransnet forums

AIBU

Marrying a long term partner

(62 Posts)
petra Sun 13-May-18 12:21:18

We have lived together for 39 years. All our property and assets have been drawn up by our solicitor so that in the event of one going before the other each is legally covered.

Eglantine21 Sun 13-May-18 12:07:19

If you don’t want to marry, tie it all up legally with Power of Attourney, wills, a declaration of trust, whatever the solicitor recommends.

You can’t do much about pension and stuff though. The system works as it will.

polyester57 Sun 13-May-18 10:37:22

Agree with all the above. There was an elderly lady in my mother´s nursing home who had been divorced and never married her long term partner. As a result, her pension was very small. A wedding doesn´t have to mean a big do, if neither of you want that. A registry office quickie will do. I recently found out that a couple I have known for many years and always assumed were just co-habiting were in fact married. They´d done it very quietly years ago and didn´t tell anyone.

loopyloo Sun 13-May-18 10:22:47

So true. I wish they would bring in civil partnerships for hetero sexual couples.

Davidhs Sun 13-May-18 10:20:45

It is not at all clever to be unmarried for all the reasons mentioned above, you have no rights.
So tie the knot or at least enter into a civil partnership, I am
pretty sure a couple can do that now

GrandmaMoira Sun 13-May-18 10:16:32

I always think it is best to marry if you are committed and have children and/or buy a house together. If one partner dies it can leave the other in financial difficulties. When I bought a house with my partner before we married, our solicitor advised against it. You don't need a big fancy wedding, just a quick trip to a Register Office with two witnesses.

midgey Sun 13-May-18 09:24:01

I had a friend who had been divorced for many years, her exhusband was killed in a car crash. He had made no Will so the woman he had lived with for most of those years inherited nothing while my friend and their daughter did inherit his estate.

Panache Sun 13-May-18 08:31:30

I believe that what you have recently learnt is right tootiredtodance............in fact my H/D whom had lived with her B/F and they had a son together was of the opinion they just did not need that scrap of paper to denote their love for one another .......truly not liking the idea of marriage.
Some real home truths were pointed out to them.......much as has been mentioned........so they opted for a very quick and quiet Wedding in the Registrar`s Office,and quite frankly with now two more children they are aiming to "live happily ever after" but as man and wife.

annsixty Sun 13-May-18 08:20:16

Certainly the information about pensions is correct and my friend was told she couldn't register her partner's death but that proved not to be true as she was present at his death, had she not have been then she wouldn't have been allowed.
He had made a will leaving everything to her otherwise I don't know what would have happened.
She was left with virtually no income as she was of pensionable age and only had her own small pension.

harrigran Sun 13-May-18 08:18:39

I think this is the reason so many tie the knot after many years, legally you have no rights and do not automatically inherit your partners assets, if he died intestate his family would inherit.

Iam64 Sun 13-May-18 08:16:21

The law currently only recognises a wife/husband for pension purposes. Not only that but if the relationship breaks up, an unmarried wife is usually out on a limb financially.

See a solicitor, take advice and if you don't want to marry, get some kind of legal agreement setting out your wishes. I don't think that currently you can get around the pension issues though.

TooTiredToDance Sun 13-May-18 08:11:17

We have been together for about 15 years and have a Son together. We are not married and have never felt a need to marry. We are committed to each other and plan to stay together for the rest of our lives. However, my friend told me something the other day which has really unsettled me. She said that in the event of my Partner dying before me, I am not recognized in law, and cannot register his death, or make decisions on life support. I would not be able to apply for bereavement help towards his funeral or apply for Widows pension. I wondered if any else had an experience on this and what happened to them?