Gransnet forums

AIBU

AIBU to not like my name being shortened?

(110 Posts)
Sazz1006 Mon 04-Jun-18 22:23:49

Ok, so my name is Sally and I’m over 60. AIBU to expect people who I barely know to call me by my full, two syllable name! Apart from my brother and a couple of friends I’ve known since I was 11, no one calls me Sal, not even my DH. Recently a couple of people I have only just met constantly call me Sal and I don’t like it! I would never shorten someone’s name unless they invited me to. What do other people think?

Kim19 Tue 05-Jun-18 10:35:15

What's in a name, eh? I completely changed mine part by fluke and eventually officially. Think my Mum was a bit confused and hurt at first but she soon came round when she realised it was the same me with a different label and we discussed it rationally. She concluded I was 'wacky but wonderful' and I've never forgotten that. Nowadays there are only a few surviving elderly relatives who refer to me by my birth name and that's fine. If my adult children happen to be in this company they find it wholly amusing. Funny old world.

Apricity Tue 05-Jun-18 10:33:49

If you feel strongly about it what is wrong with saying only my family call me "X" genenerally I am known as "Y"?

silvercollie Tue 05-Jun-18 10:31:28

DeDaa.
My name is Caroline too and I HATE it being shortened to Carol. Different name altogether. But what is worse is Ca. Caro I an deal with. I was about to go to College when I took on this, my second name, by dropping the hated first name.
For many years my mum refused to call me Caroline as she contended she had named me ** that I dislike so much that I cannot print it. In fact she stamped her foot and said that as she was my mother she could call me whatever she liked! This was after I had, yet again asked if she could agree to calling me Caroline - I was 42 by this time. Then she took over a job I had when I emigrated and she was known as Caroline' Mum. This soon was shortened to Caroline!! Oh the irony.

goldengirl Tue 05-Jun-18 10:23:38

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. In fact I only use my full name for formal occasions / letters etc. I tend to use my shortened name for everything else - much friendlier in my view.

henetha Tue 05-Jun-18 10:21:52

I don't like my name - Janet -and much prefer the shortened version - Jan.
But it's everyone's right to choose what to be called, so a gentle reminder is perfectly acceptable I think, Sally.

Sheilasue Tue 05-Jun-18 10:21:12

Well my name got shortened to ‘shell’ by girls at school, I hated it my mum used to do her nut. Some names are quite nice though shortened we have an Elle who was christened Olivia but loves her shortened name.

allule Tue 05-Jun-18 10:16:28

It seems common now to use shortened versions officially....Harry, Polly, Joe etc.
I always felt that giving children the full version of the name gives them choice later. Margaret can be Maggie, Meg, Molly, Polly.......do you remember Milly Molly Mandy, who was really Millicent Margaret Amanda?

Crazygran Tue 05-Jun-18 10:15:13

My name is Mary, often called Mee and hate it with a vengeance !!!!?

nannygreencar Tue 05-Jun-18 10:11:15

I know there are much more important things to get annoyed about, but this is one of my bug bears !!! My name is Susanne, given to me by my parents and a name I love. If I meet anyone new and we are exchanging names, obviously I use my full name. Why then do some people insist on shortening it ? !!! If you ask someone their name and they tell you, then that is the name they want to be called by. If I wanted to be called by a shortened name (e.g. Sue, Susie, Susan), then that's the name I would tell you. All my family and friends use my full name. Rant over !!!

LynneB59 Tue 05-Jun-18 10:10:29

I often have the problem of people adding to my name - Mine's Lynne but some people have called me Linda, which annoys me. Nothing wrong with the name Linda, but's it's not my name. One of my neighbours does it all the time, so I now call her Josephine, knowing full well that her name's Joanne.

glammanana Tue 05-Jun-18 10:09:48

When trying to name my youngest son we had great difficulty as all the names we came up with could be shortened,OH chose Benjamin which we both liked but could be shortened to Ben so we settled on Benn and do you know what when he was at school he always got called Benjamin !! you just can't win when it comes to names.

allsortsofbags Tue 05-Jun-18 10:01:27

Funny things can happen to names.

However, if you don't like how people change your name then it more than reasonable for you to let them know. It's you they are addressing and it is only right that you be comfortable with the address.

I don't like my name being shortened as it ends up being She. Then I can hear my mother say "who's She, the cat's mother". So a bittersweet experience :-( I often get called Sheila, not my name, if I won't see again I don't correct them, life is too short but there are times when I do want them to use my name.

Dh doesn't like his name shortened and yet his sister still does it after 60+ years of being asked not to, he just lets her do it now lol.

DD1 always uses her shortened name and if her name is reduced to it's shortest version people often expect a male and a bit like harrigran's DD, D1 thinks it's funny.

We didn't think DD2's name could be shortened but some people managed it and some friends changed and lengthened it to a lovely term of endearment. Go figure as DD's say grin

Grannyris Tue 05-Jun-18 10:01:13

I shorten my name myself, both in written and spoken conversations - from Jennifer to Jen. I'm afraid it needles me when someone calls me Jenny! I do like the fact that many organisations now ask how you would like to be addressed - in that case I prefer to be called by my married name! Complicated isn't it?!

M0nica Tue 05-Jun-18 10:00:32

We are all entitled to be called by the names that we choose. DGD has recently made it clear that she is 'Izzy' (spelling is important) not Isobel, her full name, that I have always used in the past, but no more.

I have a three syllable name always used in full to differentiate me from my DM and DGM, who had the same name but used different dimunitives. Depending on the circumstances, if anyone does shorten my name I either ask them not to or just ignore them if the do. If they are not using the name I choose to be known by they are not talking to me, but someone else.

In my whole life only one person has ever got away with shortening my name, and he was neither my DH nor ever a romantic interest, he just had a way with him.

benhamslc Tue 05-Jun-18 09:56:17

My Dad was the only one that shorten my name most other people call me by my full name. If new friends shorten it, I normally tell them straight away that i prefer my name in full.

NanaRayna Tue 05-Jun-18 09:53:21

I hated my full name so much I changed it - officially! - to the shortened version. I found out later that the original was a 'compromise' name to keep everyone happy - and disliked it even more for that!

GrandmaMoira Tue 05-Jun-18 09:48:41

My name is not generally shortened but nearly always mispronounced. I don't understand why it is so difficult to say but it's such a common issue that I don't bother correcting people, although it is irritating. What really annoys me is that my surname is one of those which can be a man's name and I hate being called that. Last time it happened (in the dentist) I said, that's not my name, I am not a man. In any case, it is rude to just use a surname without Miss/Mrs in front of it.

Skweek1 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:46:37

My aunt and parents hated shortened names, so my cousin was Helen and I was Sheila - my cousin was called Hel at school and - worse, I was She. My adopted Brazilian sister added a circumflex accent, which I do like, but chose names for my children which have nice pet forms. Except that my DS is Andrew - I was not going to allow Andy, but like Drew. Guess what? - he hates Drew and likes Andy. You can't win.

PamelaJ1 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:36:23

To the many that have suggested that we should introduce ourselves by the name we would prefer to be called and remind the other person if they get it “wrong”.
Been there, done that. I give up in the end.
Pam rhymes with spam and ham, Lovely!

sparkly1000 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:21:02

Your in good company Sally, when Princes William and Henry were born Diana made it quite clear that they should be known as Will's and Harry.

harrigran Tue 05-Jun-18 09:12:13

DD and I have the same first name but from being tiny has insisted on the short version which is okay or it was until she went to live abroad as when it is written down people think it is a man's name. She has told the story many times where the meeter and greeter walks past and extends a hand to the man behind her, she thinks it is funny.

Greyduster Tue 05-Jun-18 09:04:29

I hated my name from an early age. When I was young, it seeemed rather exotic compared to my peer group so I shortened it myself. Now the only person who uses it is my doctor and I don’t feel disposed to take her to task about it! Both my son and SiL have the same Christian name (yes, confusing!) and it gets shortened all the time but never by me.

TwiceAsNice Tue 05-Jun-18 09:00:05

My name is French and is fine if said the French way. The sound emphasis gets changed when said in English and I hate that. The only person who said it correctly was my music teacher in school and she only said it that way to humiliate me in class. I have shortened my name for many years and old friends know my original name but newer people ( friends and colleagues) never realise that my name is longer than I say. I think my mother had illusions of grandeur when she named me. She gave my brother a much more manageable name

Gagagran Tue 05-Jun-18 08:56:42

I thought noone could shorten my DS's name which is Adam but his friends (and he himself) call him Ads!

My DD is Sally and often gets Sal which I think is just an affectionate form. She doesn't mind.

Welshwife Tue 05-Jun-18 08:46:51

We always call DD by a shortened version of her name which she prefers - but when she was a child she knew she was in trouble if I called her by the full version!

In the part of South Wales I lived, and go back to, once people get to know you they shorten your name to the first syllable only. To me it is a sign you have been accepted so I don’t mind at all.