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AIBU

AIBU to not like my name being shortened?

(110 Posts)
Sazz1006 Mon 04-Jun-18 22:23:49

Ok, so my name is Sally and I’m over 60. AIBU to expect people who I barely know to call me by my full, two syllable name! Apart from my brother and a couple of friends I’ve known since I was 11, no one calls me Sal, not even my DH. Recently a couple of people I have only just met constantly call me Sal and I don’t like it! I would never shorten someone’s name unless they invited me to. What do other people think?

Marmight Fri 15-Jun-18 22:14:33

I'm a Sally too but it isn't my birth name. My 2nd name is Sara (my first I hate so much it is only used on formal documents). Apparently Sally is a derivative of Sara/Sarah so as a baby I suddenly, for no apparent reason, became Sally. How ridiculous is that? Apart from this strange decision my parents were actually quite normal intelligent human beings ?. I much prefer Sara but to formalise it would be too much of a hassle. I've rarely been referred to as Sal. The one exception is an Australian friend who drawls it 'Saaal' with a wink which I find rather endearing. Anyone else would get
'The Look'.
Sazz. If you don't like it just tell 'em wink

Elrel Fri 15-Jun-18 21:23:56

A Dutch acquaintance was named Bob and was irritated by both British and American people addressed envelopes to Robert.

Bluegal Fri 15-Jun-18 21:04:08

I have quite a long name which I shortened myself and people now shorten it even further! I actually quite like it. I feel they are being even more friendly lol. Each to their own though and IF it annoyed me I would be the first to say

Blondiescot Wed 13-Jun-18 12:59:01

I have the opposite problem - I'm a Jill, not a Gill and most definitely NOT a Jillian!

DeeWBW Mon 11-Jun-18 15:43:31

I always feel that if someone shortens a name, it is extremely friendly, as the vibes they have from you almost say that it is okay to do so.

That's good, isn't it?

MamaCaz Sun 10-Jun-18 20:29:32

I answer to several names, and not all of them are even versions of my 'proper' name -
my grandma often used to accidently call me by my aunt's name, as does my mum nowadays, and occasionally, for some strange reason, people who had never known or heard of my aunt have accidentally called me that same name!
My full name was always used by my teachers in school. My parents used a shorter version most of the time. In secondary school, some classmates adopted an even shorter version of my name. When I met DH, he used a different version of my name which I preferred to my proper one, and that is the one anyone I have met since then knows me as.

Admittedly, this has caused some confusion in recent years, since the advent of email, because one default email address was in my proper name, prompting a lot of people to ask if they had always been calling me the wrong name. (In fact, it turns out that even my older brother wasn't sure what my name was!!!)

I honestly don't mind which version of my name people call me. Unless it is a cold caller who can't even get my perfectly straightforward surname right, that is. They are told in no uncertain terms that there is no one of that name in the household!

Ailie Sun 10-Jun-18 16:04:50

It's just good manners to ask permission first. I have an abbreviated name that my family & true friends know & use which is different from the most obvious simple abbreviation. When someone abbreviates me with the simple but wrong abbreviation they're not becoming more familiar they just haven't thought it worth taking the time to really communicate with me so.... I'm kind of glad they remain ignorant of my abbreviation.... that's for my real friends.

varian Fri 08-Jun-18 20:13:53

I have never responded to my long name since I was in my early teens. I met my OH when I was fourteen and he has always known me by my short name.

Fennel Fri 08-Jun-18 18:32:28

I used to use my first name on here but changed it (for security). It's a name which can be shortened or changed in a several ways. It doesn't bother me.
As is Elizabeth our eldest daughter. My Mum was Elizabeth and Dad called her Betty.

grandMattie Fri 08-Jun-18 10:18:00

My unusual first name can be shortened in several ways , but I particularly loathe one form. My DH occasionally calls me by it, after he heard sisters and parents calling me that. Since they dislike me almost as much as I do them, I hate it. Bless him, he is trying to reform.
Mercifully, no-one else has tried to shorten it, other that my dearest cousin. I love that!
My favourite form? Grandma!!! It is the nicest name anyoe has called me; I love it!

gillybob Fri 08-Jun-18 09:43:05

If your full name is the same as mine gillyknits then I know what you mean !
There are only 2 people who call me by my full name. My dad who says it like I’m being told off and the husband of a friend of mine ( with the most lovely Asian accent) who almost sings it like Jill-ee-Ann. Everyone else uses the shortened version which I much prefer .

JackieBee1 Fri 08-Jun-18 09:28:19

Well, I've just been for a blood test and got "told off" by the nurse for saying my name was Jackie (Jacqueline on the form). hmm

MillyG Fri 08-Jun-18 09:26:47

I think it’s rude to call anyone by anything else other than how they prefer to be called, whether that’s their full name, a diminutive, or a nickname. The name they introduce themselves as should be respected, whatever it may be.

bigcol1 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:24:30

I have had several nicknames in my time. Both family orientated and also I do a lot of drama and I tend to get nicknames wherever I go. I was referred to at various places as "Titch". Not just due to my stature (I am 6 feet 6) but also because I played the tallest dwarf in the world once in a prod of "Snow White". I am also called at diff places "Captain Colin" and "Courageous Colin" and also Big Col, which was v original. I don't mind that, but I didn't like it when my dad used to refer to me as "Colinski" or even just "Col". It used to sound to me like taking coals to Newcastle. Love, hugs and kisses xxxxxx - BIG COL

endre123 Wed 06-Jun-18 22:23:20

I'm so glad to see others who dislike having their Christian name shortened. All my life I have been known by my full name, by family, friends, colleagues. There was no problem. As I have poor health I have spells when I've needed agency care and get very upset when carers call me by a shortened version on my name, just the initial. I have told their managers I prefer to be called Mrs (so and so) by people I don't know as the presumed familiarity is disrespectful. They are not friends or family. As we age we deserve the sort of respect we are used to all our lives and being vulnerable makes that respect more important. It has also happened during a hospital stay, staff referring to me loudly by a just the initial of my name. I have tried to correct it as it feels so alien but it seems they are trained to create a friendly atmosphere by "appearing" to be friendly. Pity they don't make an effort to ask if what I want to be known as?

A recent example was I needed help for one day from a care agency and rang them, gave them my details and their manager rang back later calling me by that shortened version of my name!

She repeated it three times as if to make sure I understood she didn't bite! I reminded her of my real name and she agreed with me, then said she will call me by the shortened version! I said I was uncomfortable with the familiarity as I have never spoken to her before.

My mother had carers four times a day and she was left weeping after some calls because they called her by her Christian name. My father tried to ask them politely not to do it but there are such a turnover of carers.

I would never do it to others. I always referred to my MIL as Mrs (so and so) which was what she wanted and I loved her. Insisting on referring to an older person by a shortened version without permission could be mild abuse, I seems like an attempt at taking control of an individual.

kathyd Wed 06-Jun-18 19:40:10

I am called Kathleen, Kathy or Kate depending on where I am at the time. My mother hated my name being shortened and told my friends not to do it. However, once I left home it was inevitable. I don't mind except that I hate with a passion being called Kath. A lot of Londoners did that.
There's only a cousin and officialdom left to call me Kathleen otherwise I'm Kathy and Kate.
I love the way the French pronounce Kathy - how I'm known there. Because of their difficulty in pronouncing 'th' it comes out as a very soft version of 'Katty' but without the hard sound of 'catty'.

Guineagirl Wed 06-Jun-18 18:14:00

Someone very close to me is called Sally and I call her by the name. People do call her Sal though but I don’t feel comfy calling her it. I would say I prefer Sally it’s what I have always been called. It’s your feelings you should think of most in this.

GreenGran78 Wed 06-Jun-18 09:20:03

My husband had the opposite problem when we moved to the Wigan area 50+ years ago. He was used to being called Richie, but the old folk insisted on using everyone’s full name. No matter how many times he corrected them, he was always RichARD.
My name, Brenda, is rarely shortened. For some strange reason people often get confused and call me Barbara though.
My son is always called Chris, which is lucky because his wife’s brother is also named Christopher, but uses his full name. DIL’s name is Carolyn, and she hates it when people shorten it, or call her Caroline.

grannybuy Wed 06-Jun-18 08:40:06

I always give my full name, as I don't like, or feel that I am, any of the shorter versions. Nevertheless, most people start calling me the most common shorter version. It is really rude of them. If someone tells me that their name is eg Jennifer, I wouldn't dream of immediately calling them Jen or Jenny. Likewise, changing Kathleen to Kathy, or Judith to Judy or Susan to Sue etc.

hildajenniJ Tue 05-Jun-18 22:40:53

There isn't a lot you can do with Hilda, but at my last place of work a Latvian nurse used to call me Hildachka, I liked it. Sometimes, in my youth, I got Hilly, which wasn't an apt description as I was flat chested and skinny.grin

Daisyboots Tue 05-Jun-18 22:38:03

My mother's name was Elizabeth but my grandad caled her Liz or Lizzie which she hated. So when she was grown decided to be known as Lily and always was. Then when she was 91 she moved abroad with us and decided to be called Elizabeth again. So everyone here knew her as Elizabeth until she died two months before she was 98.
I have always been known by my shortened name except when my parents were cross with me and I was called by my full name. My DH does the same. I have a fairly recent friend who always calls me by my proper name and although we have become quite close it sounds very formal but then I would never dream of shortening her name. At the doctors and hospitals here they read out your full names which gets a bit complicated when it's common here for people to have about 5 names because they take both their parents surnames

Beau Tue 05-Jun-18 22:08:21

Back in the 60's I know my mum tried to have my sister registered as Mandy but wasn't allowed - officially it had to be Amanda. So she chose Sally instead then was really annoyed when her mum said that used to be short for Sara ?

Sararose Tue 05-Jun-18 21:12:56

My official name is Sara but for some unknown reason Sally is short for Sara! My dad said in a letter to my mum "Let's christen her Sara so that we can call her Sally" ( they were apart due to the war). So I have been known as Sally for most of my life and I too hate being called Sal. I actually prefer Sara now but am not sure how it should be pronounced as my parents never ever called me Sara!

Lynnebo Tue 05-Jun-18 19:20:56

My name is Lynne but my sister called me Lou all her adult life! Never knew why....
In our childhood Dad would call the pair of us Sam!!! When we left home Mum and Dad got a dog - it was a girl but still ended up being called Sam ?

Nanny41 Tue 05-Jun-18 18:55:48

My name has been shortened for years, by choice, my name is Bernadette, quite a mouthful, I am always called Bernie, people who dont know me but know my name, always call me Bernadette, either way I dont object, officially it has to be Bernadette of course.