AIBU to tell off someone else's child

Yrs you did exactly the right thing workernan. Took your time to consider the situation. Weighed up the options. Young children need to learn what boundaries are and what is acceptable social behaviour. This child clearly isn't being shown a good example by his carer. Your DG is.

Pecs, you are most certainly allowed to hold your opinion, and others are most certainly allowed to disagree with it.
I totally agree with what the original poster did, in fact given the circumstances I think she was extremely reserved and polite. When we are taking care of our grandchildren, we are in loco parentis, in other words we take the same care as a responsible parent would take of our grandchildren. A reasonable and responsible parent would certainly act in the way the original poster did, in other words they would seek to keep their child safe and free from harm, in as far as possible, a polite and reasonable way. I’m another ex teacher, and as such I very occasionally tell other people’s children not to behave as they are doing, if I feel the behaviour is harmful to another person or property. I would never stand by and watch my grandchild being hurt by another person, and I’m pleased to see most of the other grandparents on here feel likewise.
As for the very sad situation you describe pecs, I’m afraid that truly awful situations in life do not absolve us of responsible care for our children or grandchildren, thankfully the situation you describe is extremely rare, but other truly awful situations are not, people are coping the best way they can, and behaving responsibly despite these circumstances. This parent/career was behaving in a disinterested and irresponsible manner, she was responsible for the child and she needed to parent/care responsibility and not leave it to others.

I think workernan was quite restrained. If that had been my GC being kicked then I probably would have said (in a very loud voice) ‘Stop kicking my GC.’.
Loud enough for everyone in the park, including the phone addict to hear.
My husband was in a post office the other day and a little girl of about two was behind a card rack, taking
all the envelopes out.
Mother was in the queue (with the usual phone gripped in her hand.)She neither noticed nor cared what her child was doing. When she finally looked up, she collected her child and left all the torn envelopes on the floor. My husband said that he didn’t want to cause a scene. Good job I wasn’t there then!

100% behind you and I would’ve done the same. My response to the “person” on the phone would’ve been that if she had been doing her job, you wouldn’t have had to do it for her !

It's difficult to say what I would have done without being there. Depending on the timescale of the events, my ideal would have been to try having a gentle word with the other responsible adult re the bullish behaviour. If instant action was needed I would have removed my child and moved on. I don't think any confrontation in front of children is ever acceptable. Hearing the reaction of the 'responsible' adult leads me to think that she and her charge may be two of a kind. I also think it is unacceptable to admonish any child whilst they are obviously accompanied.

Your behaviour was exemplary, Workernan, so ignore some of the tosh on here implying that you were somehow in the wrong. Total rubbish. You defended your Grandchild from further injury in a manner which was totally appropriate to the circumstances. The aggressive response of the so-called "carer" was clearly born out of embarrassment. I might have been less patient, myself... Well done.

Of course you were right. You were the carer of your granddaughter, and as such you were protecting her and caring for her.

Absolutely right - your poor little GD . Knickas were we identical twins separated at birth? Im a tigernan when I used to be a little more forgiving as Mum, but bullying, spitefulness and sheer bad manners make my blood boil too. You were in charge of your child's child and every right to protect her, she must have been so shocked and my sympathies with her. Grannyactivist yes when we had caring communities we all looked after each other and would not tolerate such behaviour peer pressure being very strong and kept people in line.

Yes there is that too grammaretto- again sad- but IF thats what he knows,then for all we know when he got home he may have had to 'suffer the conseqences' of his actions- we would hate to think that by mentioning his bad behaviour he'd got a slap(or worse) for causing trouble when he got home?also re-inforcing to him thats the right way to go about things!

You are fully entitled to tell off anyone, child or adult, who is creating a nuisance! Had the carer had a go at me, they would have got short shift! If they don't want others telling their child off, they should be taking proper care of them!

Yes i too would have said "stop that " to the other child- and said its naughty to kick people i think- i would have lifted my GD off the slide and taking her with me would have gone and told his 'chaperone' myself before she came over-she probably was his mum,if she came to stick up for him- and yes i probably would have said she should be looking after him then shouldnt she? Its sadly not all the childs fault- if he was following you around then he obviously wanted company,maybe friends to play with,instead of being ignored like the woman with him was- but maybe he doesnt know how to interact with others?and more sadly some kids think violent acts are a way to get attention/ or get a point accross

Yes workernan you did do exactly the right thing. Considered the situation taking time to weigh everything up. Children need to learn what boundaries are and what is acceptable social behaviour and it looks like this little child isn't being set a good example from his carer.

I would not like to pass judgement but, when a child myself, like grannyactivist, I would have expected other adults to intervene if I was misbehaving. However, it would not have been necessary had either of my parents been nearby.

You were absolutely right to do what you did. A child needs to know that bad behaviour brings consequences. You modelled to him how a responsible adult should behave and reassured your GD that you would not allow things to 'cross a line'.

I think you were quite right to intervene. We can't always be attentive all the time and it is our duty to act the responsible adult when we are in the best position to do so.
Years ago at a toddler group, a small boy wanted the vehicle my DD was driving. When she didn't give it up he bit her. She screamed and came for a cuddle while he drove off.
I searched for his parent and found her smoking in the kitchen. I told her what had taken place and she rushed through and smacked the little boy across his face!!
I was appalled and still am. Those were the days before mobile phones but there was still poor parenting.
I never took my DD to that group again. Perhaps that was cowardly of me but sometimes you just have to protect your own.

I would say the same to the burly teenager too, and indeed did when I saw one, backed up by his cronies, intimidating a much younger boy on his own. The bully deflated like a balloon and skulked off with his little gang. Just as well as the other half dozen people at my bus stop suddenly had something very important to gaze at in the distance or on the ground.

Good post BlueBelle

Fully agree BlueBelle.

I would say exactly the same to the burly teenager as the five year old if I saw them hurting another child Jane wouldn’t you ?

Of course we didn’t witness the situation pegs it is the same with every thread on here we only can ever hear one side of the story and then make a judgement IF we are asked to

An older child hurting a smaller child needs to be spoken to and if the mother is off with the fairies then someone else needs to do it

workernan, I'd do the same in the circumstances described.

I would not stand by and watch someone kick my grandchild. I'm pretty sure my daughter would say something too in a gentle manner and then look for the parent to speak to. Too mych overthinking nowadays!

Moving from the specific to the general I totally agree with the concept thar it takes a village to raise a child.

In a situation like this PECS we have no reason to assume the OP is not telling the truth. And given that the situation she described is accurate then our comments are valid.

Umm? This is supposed to be a discussion..so I am expressing MY views on other people's comments... I find some of them judgemental considering they did not actually see/know the people being criticised. Am I allowed to hold that opinion or is that not permitted? I don't mind if people disagree with how I would react in a similar situation. We are all different. That is the point of discussing.

PECS: this is not a Court!. People are giving their opinions on the basis of what OP writes. End of....