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AIBU

Texting

(22 Posts)
Dolallynannie Wed 20-Jun-18 11:43:33

Am I the only person who gets upset when you send a text to someone and you get nothing back?

Sent text to say having a week away so won't be available for childcare and no response! Or is there a possibility that it never arrived even though it says 'delivered' ....

felice Wed 20-Jun-18 11:48:29

Oh yes, sent three texts to DD this morning, nothing, ended up going into the garden and yelling K*********.
Anwser "What Mum".
I live in the Granny flat in their house. aaarrrggghhh would it be so difficult just to reply to the text.

henetha Wed 20-Jun-18 11:59:54

Yes, this can be very annoying, and worrying at times!

Lisalou Wed 20-Jun-18 12:40:05

I see your point, but would like to make a case for those of us who might not respond as promptly as you would like.
I work a very long day and have prolonged periods when I am not able to use my phone. During those periods, texts mount up.
At other times, when I am not working, I often leave the phone in the kitchen and get on with life. I dont like being attached to my phone all the time. It invades my privacy. So, yes I think YABU. People will get around to answering when they have time.

NanKate Wed 20-Jun-18 12:44:51

I believe you can get something set up on your phone to say the recipient has read the text. It will them show you under your message the word ‘read’.

Dolallynannie Wed 20-Jun-18 12:55:53

Nankate, I have heard about this but I understand it is a setting on the recipients phone not the senders.

Lisalou I agree with you to a point but a week has gone by and nothing!

Falmer Wed 20-Jun-18 12:58:21

I used to think people should return texts straight away. Then my adult daughter explained that's not how it works! Apparently texts are for when you're too busy for a phone conversation (or it's not too important) and the recipient can answer hours later or even the next day. I like this when i'm the recipient because it means I can carry on with whatever I'm doing then text back later, at my leisure.

Falmer Wed 20-Jun-18 13:06:43

Sorry Dolally x posted. A week!? That seems unusual.

jordana Wed 20-Jun-18 13:17:09

I too think it's bad manners not to answer texts quite soon. I understand that people may have a quick look at texts and decide to reply later. Unfortunately many people incling my daughter think they have replied when they haven't. . Especially if they receive lots of texts. I don't have that many people to text. I am a bit old fashioned in that I sometimes treat texts like letters and should be replied

ninathenana Wed 20-Jun-18 13:19:26

I can see both sides. DD works 12 hr shifts different days each week so I always text rather than ring as I don't know when she is working (not allowed phone at work) trouble is even when off she dosen't reply immediately.
It can be frustrating.

knickas63 Wed 20-Jun-18 13:19:35

We use a family messenger group for most communication. I have been know to press the ? half a dozen time until they answer. Or put up 'impatient' Gifs. But they do the same. It depends on your normal method of communicating. I think not replying is rude, so my lot know they will get it in the neck if they ignore me. Try texting again, or just phone?

Bluegal Wed 20-Jun-18 16:14:46

Just been having a similar 'argument' erm discussion with my mother! She text me when I was in work and I didn't respond all day.

Like others I detest this expectation of an instant response. Mobile phones are both the best and worst imo lol.

My AC constantly have them attached to their hands but I put mine away and get on with other things.

Maybe accept your DD/S (or whoever) hasn't yet had time to reply? OR they may have read it and forgotten? Whatever, unless you feel there is a reason you are being ignored, I would forget it and if there is a problem you can say "well I text you on such and such a date, here's the text) smile

Nanabilly Wed 20-Jun-18 16:33:19

Should you expect a response to a statement rather than a question?Maybe you should send open questions and then you could expect a reply but not immediately as people may be busy!
I don't even look at my phone for hours at a time unless it rings of course! Texts and WhatsApp messages can wait until I've got time.

Eglantine21 Wed 20-Jun-18 16:35:53

I once took my son to task for not responding to a text and his reply was “ But it didn’t need an answer.” Which was true. I was telling him something not asking a question.

Now I always put a question in, like “Is that Ok with you?” “What do you think?”

But I have to admit I often don’t pick up a text all day, if I’m doing something nteresting.

GrandmaMoira Wed 20-Jun-18 16:57:55

I often don't look at my phone for several hours so would not realise I had a text. When working I didn't look at my phone so don't expect immediate responses.
I think it is rude though to ignore an invitation by text altogether. If you're busy or don't want to come just say.

jordana Wed 20-Jun-18 17:30:35

I don't object if they haven't read the text if they were busy. What I don't like and in my opinion is bad manners, is they have read it and still not replied. OK. .some one said if you ask a question you should get a reply. I always ask a question and still have to wait sometimes days for a reply. Can be quite hurtful

jenpax Thu 21-Jun-18 07:47:30

I am another who struggles to reply to messages, at work I literally don’t have time to look at my phone and often barely have time to visit the loo or drink a coffee!! So texts are bottom of my list of to do’s! I try to reply after work but it’s not always possible if some family stuff crops up! And I then forget! It’s a sign of a stupidly busy life not trying to be rude🤦🏼‍♀️

Barmeyoldbat Thu 21-Jun-18 13:34:27

I don’t look at my phone for days. I never text but douse the messenger service on my iPad sometimes. I find it best to simply phone.

SueDonim Thu 21-Jun-18 15:08:14

I don't look at my phone for hours at a time when I'm at home. Partly that's a historical habit, because we had very poor mobile coverage and messages would only come in as I was driving into the town.

We mostly communicate by messenger nowadays, which also means I don't often check for texts.

It's rude not to respond to an invitation or a query but I refuse to be at everyone's beck and call and I'll reply when I can.

Fwiw, one of my sons rarely replies to any form of communication. We all just shrug our shoulders. Then when he complains that he's out of the loop on things we just do an eye roll at him. grin

Cold Thu 21-Jun-18 15:31:58

Not everyone can or will answer at once - some workplaces do not allow personal mobile phones and not everyone is glued to their phone at all times when they are busy.

Nicenanny3 Thu 21-Jun-18 16:21:49

Perhaps they are upset you are not available for child care. Why don't you phone them and if they don't answer leave a voice message.

onceadancer Mon 25-Jun-18 18:15:55

I've seen vastly different usages of mobile phones... from those who have them but keep them switched off unless making a phone call (which can cause irritation), to those who seem to jump in response to every beep.
I know that I can go weeks without responding to friends, and then I'll suddenly remember, and text them and there's no hard feelings and vice versa, I can get a text from a friend, and I just think, well, life is busy! As a full time parent with 2 little ones under 4, and no help, my friends get that they are a constant demand and then when they eventually get to bed, I collapse!
Different people certainly have different demands and sometimes in life, responding to a statement sent by text can be very low on the priority list.
I do think, however, there is different etiquette usage, the trick is to tap into the recipients, if you already know that they are in a busy period of life, then cut them some slack. There'll be less angst all round and will make for better relationships... Maybe? What do you think? (PS I will be highly offended if there is no response to this message) - wink