Swearing in front of children

About 43 years ago, I got mad with an idiot pinching the parking space I was about to reverse into. DS2 was in the back of the car and later in the day he told his father: 'We saw a sod in the car park today.' Another time a little voice from the back seat said: 'What means buddy ell, Mummy?' Nowadays, in the Harry Potter films, although 'stronger' swear words are not used, Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) uses 'bloody hell' all the time, so no guessing what my 10-year-old GS uses as a normal expletive.

I confess to swearing more when I'm on my own at home or in the car but I am very aware of being around my DGC. Both my DD & her OH have some very colourful language although I think they'd me shocked to hear me use the same words. They both mostly moderate their language around DGC

Children pick up these words at School but most know when & where to use them

It's very strange. I spent over 20 years in an engineering factory listening to the guys out on the shop floor swearing on a daily basis but they never swore in front of me or apologised if something occasionally slipped out. One of my sons is s musician and in years gone by we often had band members of varying ages staying here whose use of the f word was commonplace. None of it every bothered me and I confess to swearing to myself quite a bit if something goes wrong. However I abhor hearing an adult swearing at a child which is totally unnecessary and sounds dreadful especially in a supermarket or in the street. I also have one work colleague who will swear in front of me which shocks me though I've no idea why.

It's everywhere these days and we probably just get used to hearing it even on tv - music venues are especially bad - but there is a time and place as with everything.

Never any need for it. The more people dismiss it as harmless, the more acceptable it becomes and as always it is those who try to live by the rules who are most affected. By that i mean those who swear are not offended by non swearers, but non swearers generally are offended by swearers, ergo offence is one sided.

I think it's wrong to swear around very young children who will pick it up without knowing when it's okay to use and when not.
Maybe, tho, it'll all become normal usage as so many people do use swearing in ordinary speech.

My son learned that “F*** Hell” is a very special expression, only EVER to be used like Daddy just did when you hit your thumb with a hammer.

Thought I had got away with it until, Sunday lunch, boy child brings little wooden toy with pegs you tap with a mallet down just as I was stirring the gravy. You can guess the rest!

My mother was seriously unimpressed, my Dad thought running round hitting his hand and calling said expression over and over again was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Mrs. Neil hit ME (not very hard)

The F word seems to be used by everyone, unfortunately, the only swear word I heard my dad use was "bloody". He was in the Navy and worked in a factory afterwards.

On another subject. Walked through an "open space" yesterday evening with my dog. A young couple had just had a "take away" stood up and left a container with the remains of a curry in it and two plastic bottles. I called them to remove their litter saying it was their "world" we were trying to keep clean. They just walked off and left it. I feel that the young people are the litterers. I picked it up and walked to the nearest bin and deposited it. All the plastic bottles I see are usually thrown by young adults.

I think children need to learn a time and place when certain words may be appropriate/tolerated. I don't swear often: alone in car at other drivers, just now at doctor's having an injection in my knee; but am very careful around my grandson. I still remember when my son was 13 he was taken with a friend and friend's father to see a live big football match and was told not to repeat what bad bad words he heard....he told me what the father had said them and said there was a lot of shouting and hand waving at the referee and demonstrated some hand gestures that I suggested were best not to emulate either. But he enjoyed the event and understood the language needed to be confined.

It doesn't shock me much. There seems to be a time and a place for it of course, and a person for it too.
It might surprise me coming out of one person's mouth but not from another's.
I just use the strong ones if alone in real emergencies when nothing else will do.

Swearing indicates a lack of vocabulary and little thought for others.

My youngest GC, aged 8 and 9 were with us for the day and DH was doing a job in the garden. Something went wrong and he said ‘b****r’. They were outraged bless them and gave him a good telling off. They told me I shouln’t let him have any food all day as a punishment and guess what was the first thing they told Mum and Dad when we took them home? They even checked with me the next time I saw them that I had carried out the punishment. It is quite reassuring to know that they know swear words are wrong but sadly they will change when they get older. Some people seem unable to get through a sentence without obscenities, Boris Johnson is a recent example. I am glad to say my DH and two sons have never used bad language in our home or their own now they have them.

I disagree that they 'all' use swear words at secondary school. Although I'm sure he hears them my teenage grandson never swears as far as I know -if he did his mother would strongly disapprove.
Its all very well saying you swear on your own but not in front of children -in moments of stress these words will pop out so I try not to use them at all except very mild ones like For Gods sake! In moments of stress. Once when I was at my son's house sitting at the breakfast table I remembered something important I'd forgotten and suddenly said 'Oh damn!' The children looked at me in amazement, DiL looked disapproving and Son laughed and said 'Oh dear Grandma, you just said a bad word. We'll have to fine you!' I apologised of course! I've been more careful since.

I have to admit I loathe football anyway - such a bring game but it is true the supporters just do not have any respect for those around them.
I had the misfortune to have to go to a football match when my dgs was the mascot & the whole family went.
We were sitting in the family stand & there were lots of children around including 3of my dgc-all under 8.
The 2 louts next to us were yelling obscene abuse at players & ref. right from the start. I was about to have a word when my son pulled me back & informed I might get the same treatment.
I just took the 2 little ones & we went to sit in the clubhouse - they were much happier there anyway as it was cold.
I have been to hundreds of rugby matches & never heard swearing in the crowd. Sometimes on pitch but refs.soon sort that out.
Totally unnecessary.

Never heard swearing growing up at home either, agree entirely with you harrigran. It is my pet hate.

All my family are goody goodies and moderate their language when the littlies are around. But I do have problems having been brought up in a family where bloody was thrown into most conversations at random. Also in Norfolk, B****r isn’t always used as bad language. Calling someone a silly old b*****r is a term of endearment, so I have had to apologise for that and explain it was a Norfolk b****r.

However, I do hate stronger expletives. The F word should only be used in extremis when no one else is present.

(Love your post Neil )

Anyone who can get so very worked up at watching a football game (22 overpaid guys chasing a ball around a field, FGS!) that they pour obscenities all over the TV may be in need of anger management strategy therapy if it's regular and 'normal' behaviour for them......

A three year old of my acquaintance once told an adult off for swearing, as in: " Oh God, I'm not ready."
The child came very close and whispered in shocked tones:
"You just said a square word!"

Had a brother who was a professional footballer, played for his country and oh boy, do I hate football nowadays. Recently heard someone say he just cannot find what is interesting about watching 22 millionaires, with not much intelligence between them kicking a ball around for 90 minutes. My sentiment precisely. Would the same people do the same job for the basic wage? No way and as for the foul language, sorry but I would have to say something.

put a swear box on the tv. and a note please remember there are children present.if not tell him.

Awful isn't it, I would be annoyed, have a similar problem only with my husband when his driving if any of my family are in the car he shouts abuse it's really disgusting I find it embarrassing, my late elderly mum bless her used to look upset, noticed when his sister visited he never did it once? Perhaps we don't matter ,.

I dislike constant swearing, especially where the F word is used as punctuation.
I must, however, admit to a good cuss now and again when things have gone badly awry.
My children learned at a very early age that bad language marks you as ill-educated and possibly undesirable, and like me they confine any swearing to dire situations where nothing else will do!

If people are swearing constantly or AT children then that is unacceptable; but the occasional use of an expletive under extreme provocation is just normal life for most people. Children will hear that; parent will say oops, that was a naughty word, sorry.

The above posts do make it clear that children fully understand this, and temper their language when necessary.

Children have to be part of the real world - we cannot get all twee over the occasional swear word; which is after all; only a collection of letters.

Dislike foul language, especially in front of children. Teach by example. Swearing certainly shows a lack of vocabulary as already mentioned and a complete lack of manners. I didn't hear it at home and didn't use it in front of my family. The constant "in" word that we never used, is fart, hardly a programme goes by with out the it being used. It was a word that no one I knew would ever use, but there is an extreme interest in bodily functions now that I dislike. I am broad minded, my children can and do talk about nearly everything.

I think if the actual meaning of the word was explained to the perpetrator it may have more relevance. I have done this in the past. These words (&, yes they do occasionally leave my lips on stressful occasions) are so common place now. Rather like the 'bother' and the occasional 'damn' which my mother very occasionally used when I was a child. 'B****r' is an every day word in Australia and often heard on the TV and sometimes in a greeting as in G'dy ya ol' b*****' . Interestingly it seems to go over the heads of my Oz GCs. Ive never heard them use the word, or others ...