Children at 'adult' restaurants

I too take my dgd anywhere I'm choosing to eat. At 7 she is old enough to know that eating out means behaving well, and she does.
I probably wouldn't take her out after 8pm as it's a bit late for her to be eating. I wouldn't want to be sat near badly behaved children anywhere at any time.
On holiday (abroad) we did eat out later, as did alot of families due to the heat, and she behaved then too. But I didn't spend the whole time looking at my phone!!
If you don't engage a child in conversation, how do you expect them to amuse themselves? It annoys me when I see kids with tablets at a dinner table while the adults are busy on their phones! Does nobody know how to talk anymore?

I think it is up to the parents to either remove badly behaved children from the table or control them. When my children were younger, I would take them outside if they were crying, make them stay there until they were ready to be quiet and then take them back. I didn't get cross, I just spoke to them quietly telling them I couldn't hear them through all that noise, stroked their faces and waited. If it went on for a long time, my DH would take my place when he'd finished his dinner but that rarely happened. I get really irritated with my AC if they don't do the same but they don't seem to notice (me or the children) even if they are not on their phones. They seem to have the attitude that their children have the right to be there. They weren't brought up that way but if you read on Mum's forums, it seems that this is a common attitude.

MadFerretLady, thank you for the recommendation.

My DC and DGC have eaten out since small and learned very quickly how to behave, I think the big problem - even before mobile phones - is parents who cannot be bothered to engage with children at the table. We always sit children with an adult each side, not together at one end of the table and conversation is general, so that they are part of the gathering and contributing.

Mine were taught that the same manners applied, both at home and eating out, no matter where, Maccies or Mandarin Oriental. Never a problem and GC the same.

A sorry sign of the times, not only with adults being totally engrossed with phones, but also being oblivious to others around them. Many don’t seem to care what the kids are doing as long as it’s not them they are bothering. It just seems to be the norm for so many.... and it’s the kids I feel sorry for.

Have always taken my children with me to restaurants all over UK and world, they have always been well behaved, its the parents choice to do this, but they must ensure their children behave.

Totally dependent on the parent.

We've taken DD to fine restaurants but she knows she is expected to behave and we make sure she does. That's everything from staying in your seat talking at a low volume to using a knife and fork.

It does ruin the experience when you have children who can't behave and I can never understand how the parents aren't embarrassed by it!

Congratulations! I do not even know what a sapphire wedding is - maybe I've had one and never noticed!

Was the relevant jewel forthcoming?!

Just looked it up - yup - missed it!! Darn!

We always took our children to any type of restaurant at any time of day and they were always well behaved - they wouldn't have dared be otherwise! But I must admit that our GC can sometimes be a bit loud and lively, so we usually go to child appropriate eateries where there is something to entertain them (garden, swings, play area etc) and a kids menu.

The very dour and grumpy landlord of our local village pub, which has a 'Families Welcome' sign outside and a bouncy castle in the garden once told our GC off for running in and out from the garden and being too noisy. I reminded him of the sign and he said 'That applies to locals, holiday visitors are a pain in the neck". When I pointed out that we are locals he said "Well you're welcome but not them!" We haven't eaten there since and there is now a 'For Sale' sign outside!

Nothing wrong with taking children to any restaurant at any time, providing they know how to behave. And, of course, the adult with them also knows how to behave and engage with the children!

I agree that children should become used to eating out etc and learn how to behave appropriately. However there are some restaurants and times which are not suitable for children. Parents and carers should respect that, toddlers especially are unpredictable and not all of us want to be treated to terrible two's tantrums.
I agree Bredhead children in France are generally well behaved when eating out.

I was introduced to 'fine dining' at the age of ten by an aunt and uncle who had no children of their own. As young as I was I felt very grown up especially when the waiter referred to me as madam.?These events were always for lunch. It is irresponsible of people to expect that others, who may be dining out for a special evening event, to accommodate unruly kids and a pity that more restaurants don't display a 'no children under 12' served after 7pm.
If a restaurant is worth its salt how desperate must it be for business that it has to allow the enjoyment of others to be spoiled by those who for once in a while cannot have a night out without bringing along their small children.?

I sidestep the whole issue, if the grandchildren are with us it's the local pub that has a playroom, children are expected, they have a carvery where kids can have what they want and it works brilliantly for kids and adults.

Some parents are totally inconsiderate to other diners

You are not being at all unreasonable. I am sure everyone has had a similar experience. These parents can be so selfish, especially when they know they are at an expensive restaurant.

The children must have been quite badly behaved for the waiter to tell them off and then offer to move you.

Re your title. Wouldn't it be wonderful if there really were adult only restaurants? After all there are hotels where children aren't allowed, and some of the P and O cruise ships are adults only.

mad many congratulations on your sapphire anniversary. Sounds as though you had a lovely evening.
I am glad so many have such well behaved children and GC but would put in a little plea for some tolerance (I know it's hard when you want to enjoy some peace and quiet) for those with autistic children /GC.
Firstly I would point out that autistic or not, unruly rowdy children should not be ignored by their parents and my GC were never ignored by theirs. My autistic DGS (who is now impeccably behaved and could eat anywhere) when younger had a real problem with sitting still for the duration of a meal and had to get up and go outside to run around for a bit. Mum/dad or GP always went with him and we tried not to disturb other diners when we did so (hasten to add this was at places like the Harvester not fine dining)
Autistic children like eating out as much as anyone but sitting for any length of time is really hard for them to do.
I do have great sympathy for those where children are noisy and badly behaved (even the good ones have off days) but no sympathy when the parents totally ignore what's going on when they are so besotted with their phones rather than their children.

Not the fault of the children, only that of the adult supposedly in charge of them. I would not have been so restraint as you were I'm afraid. It seems to be the norm these days to expect other people to endure other peoples' children rather than put some effort into controlling them in all sorts of environments. Since the arrival of the play areas in a lot of the pub/restaurants I feel there has been a decline in expecting children to sit at a table for a meal. The norm is they just get up, go off to play, then back when food is served or next course arrives. GD and GS are very good at the table both at home and when out but then there is generally a conversation going on and phones are banned. The restaurant definitely cared about your situation by sorting out another table though perhaps it should have made the nuisance table move as a message they were causing a disturbance to other diners.

Not unreasonable at all. We often go for lunch at at a steak restaurant when shopping. There's no children's option really, so that kind of points out it's not for young children.

However, what I find annoying are the grandparents who have this wish for everyone else there to know they are grandparents, and speak in loud voices to the children with a 'look at me' gaze around the room.

I think it's important for kids to learn how to behave in a restaurant by experience, but not in the evening when others are having 'special' meals. Mind I'm not sure the adult knew how to behave either.

Our autistic DGS is better behaved than most children when eating out, in fact is very quiet, as long as the meal isn't longer than 2 hours.
it's hard to be general about children and eating out at good restaurants or weddings, because some are impeccably well behaved and others are little horrors.
a tasting menu isn't really the right place for children though, sounds as if the adults had more money than sense.

It is not about the restaurant being suitable for children but, about the children being suitable for the restaurant. These children had obviously not been taught how to behave in a restaurant and were not being properly supervised.
So sorry if it spoiled your evening, MadFerretLady.

Terrible parenting.
Great that the restaurant treated you well to make up for it.

So proud of my grandchildren last week when we went to a Chinese restaurant. They tried lots of different foods, used chopsticks, which I can’t do, and were great conversationalists. We ordered just four starters for six of us and five main courses which was more than enough for everyone. Mind you, the restaurant was full of such families. I heard no misbehaviour from anyone there.

If I had been the grandma I would have told my daughter to get off het mobile to start with.
Also I would have ensured that they had things to entertain them which were quiet. We used to take our kids to more expensive type places just so they knew how to act etc.

Our son at 9 months had dinner at a posh hotel in Basra, Iraq. Since then we took him all over the place. Once he fell asleep on a plane on my lap so I missed my airline meal. In Benidorm he fell asleep on his father's lap who ate an Italian meal with one hand. At 5 he came with us for a meal and show at Benidorm Palace and quickly became a majician but chose a different career path. Now he chooses high end places to treat us to celebration dinners. Our friends children were allowed to run riot under the table and left to run outside in the street in busy roads. I told hubby when we married there would be no children. Too much like hard work, but eventually I agreed to just the one and we shared the guidance.

We once had a major argument with my FiL as he wanted us to take the children out on his 70th birthday which was on a Monday. We pointed out that as we wouldn't/couldn't take them out of school and we lived a distance away it would mean eating out in the evening. We knew that the sort of restaurant he'd want to go to probably wasn't ideal for the children so it made more sense for us to celebrate his birthday at the weekend so we could go somewhere more suitable for the children. He was furious - the most angry I ever saw him - but eventually accepted our decision reluctantly. In the end he had a fabulous time as we organised various surprises for him, and on his actual birthday Monday he had lunch with former colleagues and dinner out with his wife. At the weekend we all went to one of our favourite restaurants for Sunday lunch which the children were used to. We also had a picnic on the Saturday and a special tea at our house on the Sunday with some surprise guests. We often took the children out to restaurants but not ones you would consider 'adult' in an evening. We always made sure they behaved appropriately but that might have been hard to achieve in an unfamiliar place when they were tired.