Gransnet forums


Every day sexism

(16 Posts)
Romychoc Tue 16-Oct-18 11:09:02

At my age I am usually invisible. I live in a small 'naice' town.
I gave up cycling as louts tried to knock me off my bike, driving too close and trying to hit my handle bars.
This morning slowly jogging at 7am down a busy main road, a van was parked on the pavement and young labourers deliberately blocked my path laughing. I had to force my way through them to be shouted at to 'calm down love'. I cried the rest of the way home. Am I unreasonable to be angry and upset? Does it serve me right?

muffinthemoo Tue 16-Oct-18 11:33:42

No, you were deliberately harassed. They blocked your path? What do they think they are doing, harassing an older lady to the point of tears?

Maggiemaybe Tue 16-Oct-18 11:46:24

That’s awful, Romychoc, I’m sorry you were upset. I’d be inclined to give their office a ring, if there’s a name on the van. They probably just saw it as a bit of harmless fun, but they need someone to have a word about what’s acceptable behaviour and what’s not.

FlexibleFriend Tue 16-Oct-18 12:18:11

No you're not being daft and you certainly didn't deserve it. I don't know which so called nice small town you're in but I've never experienced that kind of behaviour in London. They should hang their heads in shame.

Mycatisahacker Tue 16-Oct-18 13:42:37

As Maggiemaybe says was there a number or firm name on the van? I would have reported if so.

Don’t cry get angry. And young labourers? We’re they council workmen? If so complain I can assure you most councils would take this seriously.

Where do you live? It doesn’t sound nice at all. Very nasty behaviour

M0nica Tue 16-Oct-18 15:42:43

It doesn't sound a very 'naice' town to me. I live in a village in a very highly populated area and I have never met behaviour like this.

Without a doubt I would have taken the van number, if nothing was painted on the side and there and then contacted the police, and if known the company concerned.

Carry your phone with you next time and photograph them.

M0nica Tue 16-Oct-18 15:43:56

If the suggestions in the paper of elder abuse being made a crime go through, they would soon find their collars being felt by the police and them appearing in court.

Eloethan Tue 16-Oct-18 19:46:38

I thought that too Monica. Someone on that thread referred, rather presumptuously I thought, to "perceived" ageism - perhaps that poster feels all "isms" are perceived rather than real. This account demonstrates very clearly that ageism/sexism still exists and causes real distress and anxiety.

I too would have reported their intimidating behaviour, either to the company they worked for (if that information was available) or to the police.

Riverwalk Tue 16-Oct-18 20:05:37

Oh, give over.

rafichagran Tue 16-Oct-18 20:16:31

Calm down love, Is that all they said. I really would not take it personally.
My partner is a marathon runner and trains quite alot, ,he said a lot of people talk in groups and do not get out if the way when he is running, he just goes around them. If you ran straight through them they may have seen it as rudeness on your part. I think at worst they were inconsiderate.

Romychoc Thu 18-Oct-18 11:48:13

Thank you for support, ladies. I just needed to let off steam.The van was old with no trade name on it. There was no other way to get home for me. No path on other side of road, early rush hour traffic so couldn't step around them . I truly thought they were going to part as I neared them.Three men over 6 foot and their van on the pavement deliberately blocked my way laughing. I am short and past middle age. Of course I move out of the way or stop for pedestrians. This was not the same thing. Sure we don't have victim blaming on gransnet?

Nonnie Thu 18-Oct-18 12:02:01

Don't think this was sexism, simply rudeness, Please let's not always blame everything on men v women.

I think I would have said something to them. A few days ago DH and I were walking up the main road after heavy rain and a young man drove off the road into a drive, splashed me and we had to stop or he would have run us over. I went up to him and told him, politely, that the Highway Code gave pedestrians priority on the pavement and that he had selfishly splashed me. He apologised, politely, and I just hope he won't do it again.

Mapleleaf Thu 18-Oct-18 12:23:18

I’m inclined to agree with Nonnie - they were ill mannered idiots and I suspect they might have tried it with anyone on their own, regardless of age. (Pack behaviour gives bullies confidence). The fact remains though that it was upsetting and frightening and shame on them for their crass behaviour, and it most definitely does not serve you right. They were the ones in the wrong, not you. 💐

Romychoc Fri 19-Oct-18 11:32:24

Thank you Nonnie and Mapleleaf. You have given me pause for thought. Although I would still say why has my husband never been threatened in a similar way whilst cycling or running? Just my bad luck?

Jane10 Fri 19-Oct-18 11:40:03

I wouldn't have thought this was ageism just unacceptable behaviour. I used to have comments called after me when I was out running in my early 40s. Not by any particular age, kids, workmen, people at bus stops etc. I just ignored them and ran on.
Don't let these people get to you!

jeanie99 Thu 25-Oct-18 08:38:58

This type of behaviour makes me hopping mad.
But what can you do about it, keep alert and try and avoid these hooligans.