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America’s Purity Programme !

(93 Posts)
Bridgeit Thu 18-Oct-18 17:00:50

A teenage girl from Louisiana, signed a contract to pledge abstinence to her father , ( until married ) apparently they have a Purity Ball called America’s Purity Ball.
Seems a bit creepy & controlling to me .
I am all for caring Dads, but this just doesn’t seem right to me.

sodapop Mon 29-Oct-18 12:37:49

Neither does promiscuity notanana

notanan2 Mon 29-Oct-18 10:23:18

I was replying to Granny23s point about the benefits of NOT waiting until marriage to have sex.

Sex isn't bad. It has lots of benefits when done with mutual respect. Abstinence doesn't teach respect.

Bridgeit Mon 29-Oct-18 10:04:03

Sexual compatibility =sexual compatibility,
They are not being matched for sexual compatibility, they are being given by their fathers to men who are like their fathers who think it is their right to choose their daughters husbands & perpetuate the control of females.

notanan2 Mon 29-Oct-18 09:49:52

Sexual compatability = genetic compatability.
Its a Biological tool to help you find a mate that you'll have a good chance of having viable offspring with.

Granny23 Mon 29-Oct-18 09:26:55

I note that this whole thread and the 'pledge' that is being discussed is predicated on the assumption that the boys are all after sex and the girls are under pressure to give in. No mention whatsoever of young women who actually enjoy sex, encourage, indeed instigate it.

My experience, as a teenager in the swinging sixties was that almost every couple was sexually active before marriage, many having 'shotgun weddings'. Two couples I knew waited until they were married and both had difficulties with the sexual side of their marriage. I am a firm believer in 'try before you buy', (with all due precautions taken to avoid infection or pregnancy) to ensure their is compatibility in this important part of the relationship.

PECS Mon 29-Oct-18 07:18:43

All fundamental religious factions subjugate women in similar ways. The men dictate dress codes/ who mixes with who/ domestic duties & generally stereotyping gender roles. It is all wrong: Jew/ Christian/Muslim/ Jedi Knight

FingerLaker Mon 29-Oct-18 00:46:53

It's like they're marrying their fathers. I think it IS creepy and usually a bi-product of a very conservative church. I thought this was only here in the States.

knickas63 Mon 22-Oct-18 08:30:36

I saw this programme, and I found it deeply creepy! The daughters were treated like extra wives. Felt very uncomfortable watching it. As for the few that some have that sex is purely for marriage - if that is your view, then fine, but why should everyone follow it? I find the hypocrasy of the whole thing distasteful. I have known several, very religious men who were monsters to their family. People can be kind and moral without being badgered about their sex lives.

Florabunda60 Sun 21-Oct-18 19:24:23

Does not sound good at many, many levels.
What is the age of consent in Louisiana. I believe different US states have different ages set; is that correct now?

notanan2 Sun 21-Oct-18 17:44:28

Its a thing in some of the "modern" new evangelical american style churches here.

They say that deferring to the man eliminates potential for jealousy and other martial problems...again its the womans job to be the "solution" because men cant be expected to control their own jealous anger..

Lazigirl Sun 21-Oct-18 17:23:51

Exactly notanan2. I wonder why some religious folk are so preoccupied with sex when there are many other life issues to focus on? I think it is about controlling women. I remember there is/was a movement which started in US called "surrendered wives", where wives agreed that it was the Christian thing to defer to their husbands in all things, as head of the household, which would lead to a happier life (apparently). B****r that I say!

paddyann Sun 21-Oct-18 17:11:56

very few fathers "give the bride away" now ,They still walk them down the aisle but I haven't heard "who gives this woman " for a long time .

BlueBelle Sun 21-Oct-18 15:52:47

Alchemilla I walked my youngest daughter down the aisle about 18 years ago The only difficult bit (for me) was the speech afterwards I hate making speeches

notanan2 Sun 21-Oct-18 15:41:50

Are the same fathers holding their sons to the same standard?

notanan2 Sun 21-Oct-18 15:40:42

I would rather see young men take consent pledges and wear consent rings and promise their mothers that they will treat women with respect....

....its always on the girls...who when it comes to it dont always get that much of a say anyway

alchemilla Sun 21-Oct-18 15:29:50

Hmmm. How about the father giving away the bride? Or another, the US and central European habit of the father dancing with the bride and then ceding to the groom? Aaargf. I always wish I'd had the nous to have my widowed mother lead me up the aisle rather than an uncle I hardly knew.

I can see the freedom of a young girl being able to say no because she has promised her family not to, but surely it's better for her to say no because she's learnt to trust her own instincts, speak up for herself and ignore boyfriend pressure and group pressure if that's what she doesn't want.

Jalima1108 Sat 20-Oct-18 23:07:15

I think my Dad would have got flustered, red in the face and found an escape route into the garden.

Mycatisahacker Sat 20-Oct-18 20:25:25

Well the silver ring thing sounds ok to me if it’s what the individual wants. Boy or girl It’s just the pledging to daddy that sounds creepy.

Nowt wrong with teenagers choosing chastity if that’s their individual choice. Good for them

Jalima1108 Sat 20-Oct-18 19:59:33

The Silver Ring Thing is not just aimed at girls and young women either - it is for boys and young men too.
They must not 'fornicate'.

Jalima1108 Sat 20-Oct-18 19:58:02

There was a movement that wore a ring (I forget which finger) declaring chastity before marriage so that students knew each other's beliefs on the matter.

I remember that Tillybelle and I think it is still happening. It's called The Silver Ring Thing and was founded by an evangelical Christian (male). But I think they pledge to themselves, not to their fathers.

I agree Writerbird

Mycatisahacker Sat 20-Oct-18 19:48:50

Gross indeed

notanan2 Sat 20-Oct-18 19:23:36

They are pledging their virginity to their fathers until he hands her over to a husband.

GROSS.

Rainwashed Sat 20-Oct-18 18:45:22

I would like to know (a) what happens if they don't keep the pledge? Are they punished in some way, if so that's creepy! Are girls really that influenced by not being able to attend a ball ?

(b)Unless some sort of surveillance device is used (creepy) how does anyone know they haven't kept the pledge, unless the male involved spills the beans how hypocritical is that?

Mycatisahacker Sat 20-Oct-18 17:35:06

I think any father so invested in his daughters virginity is quite creepy.

And what about the lads? Do they sign this pledge or is ok for them to sow wild oats with ‘bad girls’

Bridgeit Sat 20-Oct-18 16:22:48

Yes I agree Dolcelatte & Writerbird, very creepy.