Table Manners

Oh, and Maudlillian and Pecs - completely agree!

Oh my goodness - what on earth does it matter? Who makes these silly rules anyway? As long as the diner eats without flicking, spitting or spilling food everywhere, why should it concern anyone else?

Agreed about slurping/loud chewing noises though: personally I find this a tad nauseating, but I don't give a stuff about etiquette even though I was taught the 'correct' way to use my cutlery by my parents aeons ago. My mother used to tell me that anyone holding their knife like a pencil must be 'lower class' and as a child I believed her. It had an effect on me for years until I realised she was talking rubbish, but even now I can hear her disapproving voice in my ear when I see someone in a restaurant doing just that!
My father used to pour his tea into his saucer and slurp it. We all thought that was very funny and oddly enough my mother didn't protest much. He also used to lick his plate clean sometimes. I hasten to add that both actions were for home meals only.

Odd, isn't it, what people are offended by with eating habits. I find wasting food a far more heinous crime....

sodapop I was taught impeccable table manners as a child & " correct" use of cutlery etc. but have learned, through experience, that much is just snobbery and class! I have made what I consider practical and sensible decisions on use of cutley and table "etiquette". I eat in a way that suits me and does not put others off eating with me!

All I care about is what people are eating, not how. I'm vegan, and wish that everybody else was too. I don't care if people eat with their fingers - just not animal products! I would be so happy to have a kinder world.

We are being told now that animal agriculture is a very large contributor to climate changing emissions, and the WHO has said that processed meats are carcinogenic, and probably red meat is too, and dairy is implicated in many women's cancers and also in prostate cancer.

I'd love to see people enjoying wholesome vegan meals, using their cutlery anyway they like, and leaving my friends, the animals, off their plates.

I understand that some posters find these rules of etiquette tedious. It's difficult though to shake off these things which were instilled into us at an early age. I think the pendulum has swung the other way and people have become lazier especially with teaching children how to use utensils and be independent.

I do hold my knife correctly and I understand how silver service works, and I can 'correctly ' eat soup (When it's not in a mug). However I do rest my elbows on the table, I do let the handles of my cutlery rest on the table between mouthfulls, and I freqently eat with the fork only, prongs up, in my right hand. I have even eaten a sausage like a lollipop - but only at home, out of sight! I never speak with my mouthful, or chew with my mouth open - that, others have said, are the real bad manners.

that makes sense icanhandthemback

Muffinthemoo, who defines what is "correct"?

The use of forks was originally an anathema as it was believed that God had provided natural forks, ie the fingers. Men initially rejected them because they were too feminine.

All of the above were restraints foisted upon us because somebody thought they knew better. As long as you are not a danger or revolting to your fellow being, what right has anybody to tell you the way you use your cutlery is wrong, no matter where you are?

I was always taught that knife and fork at 5/7 o'clock indicate you are still eating, whereas both at 6 o'clock meant you are finished.

My grandson, 12 months old, is already proficient in the use of cutlery.
He bungs all his little spoons on the floor, grabs my fork, and waves it in the air whilst shovelling in his food with his free hand.
I do so love the innocence and messy joy of little children!

Basic rule of thumb: if eating on your own sofa, use fork as you please.

In public use the bloody thing correctly

Many people can't spell. No big deal. When I worked in the City, I always carried a small Oxford Dictionary. Table manners? Does it matter unless having dinner at Windsor Castle? FYI my in laws are from Iraq. They have DIFFERENT table manners but my SILs know what to use in a posh restaurant but eat with hands at home.

All this talk about how to use cutlery at the table, I'm sure some of you would be horrified to see the young man, about 18-23, at the table near to us some time ago, eat a roast dinner entirely with his fingers!

One of my line managers was an Education Officer - head of department. He used to get me to check his spelling when he typed letters. He was well educated and intelligent but just couldn't spell. Many people can't. They really don't enjoy being corrected. Its not that important.

But equally, GabriellaG, you have no business telling any forum user what they are and are not allowed to post.

Oh look! I just started a sentence with a conjunction! Go on, get your red pen out

Bathsheba

Oh!
I might take note if it was a comment from the person whose spelling/ grammar I corrected...but it wasn't so I won't.
BTW, why is it considered ok to point out when someone gets their facts wrong but not ok to point out their incorrect spelling?
As long as I'm not correcting you then you have no business 'pulling me up'.

Only time I feel it appropriate to turn a fork up is to gather the likes of peas, corn. Otherwise I like to see the old fashioned cutlery system used.

I hear you, was also taught at very early age how to use c7tlery. But was c9m0,etrl6 shocked when 8 saw an add for soup, young child with huge spoon, putting entire spoon in his mouth, predictably soup down his chin. What happened to using proper soup spoons? There is a method, and 8t works, no drips, spoon does not go in your mouth!

Many of my friends (who have very good table manners) use the knife like a pen. At grammar school where we sat formally on tables of six, table manners mattered. There was always a teacher on duty and I remember one saying that if there was nothing to cut then one used the fork in the right hand. In those days of meat and 2 veg I suppose the only school meal that didn't need cutting would be shepherds pie. DH and I use the fork in the right hand for pasta and rice dishes.

As for setting the table, when people had monograms on their cutlery the table would be set with the tines and spoon bowls downwards to show off the monogram on the back.

Watermeadow that's it exactly!

watermeadow

My Mum was a "Silver Service" waitress so we were both taught how to lay a table and use our cutlery. It has served me well.

My pet hate is people who put their knives in their mouths. It literally makes me feel sick. As they could cut their tongue.

I would really annoy a lot of you: I generally eat foods such as curry, chilli, stew etc. with a spoon, even though I was taught proper table manners as a child (in the sixties), and know it isn't the 'proper' way to eat.

To me, the spoon is by far the best-designed tool for eating such foods, so I refuse to let quaint, outdated customs deter me from using one when eating at home (though if eating out, I go with the flow and use the cutlery I have been given - I wouldn't dream of asking for a spoon if one hadn't been provided for that purpose)!

I am equally scornful of the 'elbows off the table' rule.

Noisy or messy eating are another matter, as they impact other people's enjoyment of a meal!

I agree with CarolMary that it's rude to correct someone else's grammar. The ones who do it are evidently those who have so little to be proud of they inflict their " knowledge" on others. Mrs Know-alls.

If you’ve ever seen a clip on television of children eating at school you will know that children are not taught table manners at home.It’s all part of modern parenting with these rules:
1 There are no rules.
2 Never say No.
3 Children must have everything they want.
4 If your child is unhappy or cross or naughty, then it’s your fault and you have failed at parenting.
5 Grandparents know nothing about raising children.