Reply to my post on Facebook

Well said Gabriella. FB is not worth it. Wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

Facebook is great if used with consideration for others.
Definitely - it depends how you and others use it.

Especially if family are far away.

Three words...GET A LIFE

Cathy I renewed a childhood friendship through a local group. We hadn’t seen each other for nearly 60 years.
Facebook is great if used with consideration for others.
I hope you are on the mend soon

I have been in hospital for 33 days and its a Godsend to me. I follow groups like “Wallasey Memories” and exchanging old memories of Wallasey where I lived as a child is a lovely time filler.

I am very wary of commenting on any social media platform now as my grand daughter isn’t ‘acknowledging ‘ me at all now over something really stupid. We had a group chat going on and her, her mum and her aunts were all drinking at the time. She is 19, but she is one of these people who takes everything you say literally. Anyway, she was going on about loving her mum and I jokingly said ‘if you carry on creeping like tha5 you will get carpet burns on your legs’ or some such nonsense. Everyone else on the group chat thought it was funny as they knew I was joking apart from her. She swiftly left the group and has ignored me ever since! I have now stopped ‘following ‘ her posts as it does get hurtful sometimes, but I still ask after her when talking to her mum and will carry on sending her Xmas and birthday cards and pressies. One day she might realise she has taken it way over the top, but have told her mum, am not contacting them Xmas day as they will all be drinking and I might get in trouble again! We live in Spain now.

Like someone else has said, folk are so touchy nowadays about everything, what happened to a sense of humour!

Minerva

Honestly I wouldn’t worry as the youngsters keep FB for oldies like us to communicate with them but they use Instagram to communicate with their friends.

I hate the way people sometimes use public Facebook timelines for personal statements/messages; I have a DiL who does this and it has caused huge problems in our family. I now never make a personal comment and find grandchildren do not always appreciate us oldies commenting so only do so if it is something nice to them. I will do a like if I find something amusing.
Use private messaging if you can't phone or see them personally.

I agree with ^chew* as I said upthread I would ring my son and ask him what he meant. We don’t do sweep under the carpet In our family. That festers.

I wonder how many youngsters have grandparents as Facebook Friends. I’m on Facebook because I admin a health group and also keep an eye on one of my offspring abroad which was her idea. I can connect too with relatives my own age living at some distance and living more interesting lives than mine.

Two of my three adult children opted out of FB years ago. I would love to be linked to one Daughter in law who didn’t opt out, so that I could see some of the beautiful photos she puts up but I wouldn’t want to embarrass her by inviting myself.

I absolutely wouldn’t dream of inviting myself on to my grandchildren’s FB however much I adore them and would be curious to see what they say to friends. It would feel like snooping. They would have to say yes but I can’t believe it would be what they want.

I've learnt my lesson with my daughters generation on FB, I use messenger if I want to comment on something. Normally they don't like long comments. I would ask your grandson if your comment was ok?
There's a whole lot of nuanced etiquette that needs to be explained to us older generation. Your son is being an idiot.
Talk to your grandson.

Alexa, this is the sort of thing my son would. It is thoughtless and hurtful. Let it drop or you may find it goes on and on.

Facebook is such a nightmare, it's so easy for something to be taken the wrong way. Probably the comment about something being intended to be light hearted was said jokingly but of course, how would one know?!

I can be quite a serious person and I can imagine responding to the philosophical side of a post with interest. However, it seems to me nowadays that everything has to be light hearted and delivered in just a few words or even syllables or the dreaded emoticons. No one thinks anymore, grumble, grumble. I'd forget about it, OP, or reply in kind if you can be bothered!

Lizzy I once made the mistake of commenting on a ScaryMommy post ?
My comment was very mild but I was quickly shot down in flames

Ah yes delete the comment was good advice from GrannyToTwins. If your son's reply was connected under your comment, then it will delete yours and his reply, which will even things up.

Alexa I hope you can get over your hurt feelings quickly. Text has no intonation or facial expression so can often come across as cold and critical when that's not meant.

On a sort of similar theme, I commented on an ideal home post that showed a Christmas living room with stockings, tree and presents all really close to a roaring fire. I suggested it was a dangerous scenario. Back came the replies along the lines of, 'It's only a photo, lighten up!' etc. My response was Monkey see, monkey do! Perhaps I am too serious and analytical.....but that's me and I'll still comment ?

Delete the comment and ask your son why he felt it necessary to contact you about it. I know I would be very upset if it were me and would go over and over it in my head until I understood what had caused the upset.

Think very hard about what you say on FB! I (try to) restrict my contributions to 'liking' friends' photos of gardens/pets/babies/pretty landscapes, and my posts are on similar topics. It's lovely to see photos of friends and family, and I'm happy to keep in touch that way, but it's no medium for debate! In future, Alexa, if you have an interesting point to make about a post, it might be better to send a private message. There is always the suspicion that the third party (your son) is fighting another battle with you under this guise. I wouldn't pursue it if I were you. See if he says anything else, but for goodness sake, don't carry on family business in public.

Forget it.

Alexa. Your son needs to get a life and you do not have to justify what you did to him or anyone. What happened to freedom of speech?

You don't really know who is at the bottom of this though. For all you know (OP) it could be that the grandson whinged and moaned about your comment until your son felt forced to say something to keep him quiet. Or maybe it was the DIL or who knows. Social media makes people criticise other people's behaviour in a way they would never do face to face. I'd let it drop just for the sake of peace cos facebook stuff has a way of escalating that, like I said, would never happen in the room together.

I think you are right to feel peed off. After all notifications on Facebook are public and we all know that to be dismissive of a family member or a friend in public is a no no. Don’t think think there is much you can do about it though except temporarily seethe and and get our support.
I have a quite disagreeable SIL in person but he is always supportive and friendly online and that does a lot to keep our relationship on even keel. So it’s not trivial, he is telling you to back off. And that hurts. It’s sll about boundaries physical and virtual. As someone else said he is standing between you and your grandson and wanting to direct the communication. Your wisdom will dictate. We learn a lot everyday. Overall though it is about manners but also that massive gulf that children have in not recognising their elders brains when it doesn’t suit.
Great forbearance needed.

This isn't trivial as it's worrying or annoying you, Alexa, but try to shrug it off. Otherwise you risk making a mountain out of a molehill.

Is your son interested in philosophy, or is he perhaps jealous that you and your grandson share an interest that he doesn't?

This is going to sound really radical but..... how about picking up the phone and actually speaking to your son instead of trying to understand the sub text in a Facebook post? If his post has irked you so much, ask him about it.

I bet your grandson loved your response!
And it was probably one of those posts that can be enjoyed at different levels.