Gransnet forums


Reply to my post on Facebook

(69 Posts)
Alexa Tue 04-Dec-18 16:12:27

I had replied to an interesting humorous but meaningful Facebook post from my adult grandson, who has studied philosophy at university . In my reply I commented on the philosophical meaning which interested me.

This morning my son , his father, responded that it was supposed to be a light- hearted post. And I felt snubbed. I wonder if my son feels the young man needs to be defended or something.

Sorry if this sounds really trivial but I really do feel son has snubbed me on a public Facebook page.

ReadyMeals Tue 11-Dec-18 09:21:06

I have become very trigger-happy with the "block" option on facebook these days. That does wonders for the self-esteem too smile

Elegran Tue 11-Dec-18 09:09:52

What a lot of people confuse the medium with the message!

Facebook is only another means of communicating, like letters, postcards, greetings cards, telephones, magnetic noticeboards, music requests with loving messages, banners towed across the sky etc etc etc. Plenty of nasty messages can be sent by old-fashioned letter or said over the phone. No-one curses the telephone because someone has shouted at them over the line, or decvlares that they are never gouing to write another letter to anyone because of what was written to them.

If Facebook friends post hurtful things, it is because those friends typed in the words - Facebook itself didn't. Or perhaps they just typed in something that wasn't meant to be hurtful at all, but was misunderstood.

Jaxie Tue 11-Dec-18 08:44:41

I've come to the conclusion at the age of 75 that the hurt I've felt at similar snubs to this is the direct result of my own low self esteem. Now I tell them all ( mentally) to eff off. We all have friends and family who value us and would forgive us anything and those who will never " get us". Their problem, not ours.

Alexa Sun 09-Dec-18 18:40:55

fluttERBY123, you described my feelings precisely , and that was what was worrying me.

Alexa Sun 09-Dec-18 18:39:45

FluttERBY123, you described my feelings precisely and that was what was worrying me.

Speldnan Sat 08-Dec-18 09:29:20

My daughter often does this kind of thing to me- she’ll say I’m a grumpy old woman if I say anything negative on a post. She’s been known to delete my posts if she thinks it might embarrass her mates! I know better now than to comment on any of her posts unless totally benign or very positive! I think she’d really rather we weren’t friends on FB but I like to be on it to keep up with absent family members and friends.

Mycatisahacker Fri 07-Dec-18 14:12:41

Aw glad it’s sorted op. So your ds didn’t mean to snub you or upset you. Good outcome and don’t give it any more headspace

ReadyMeals Fri 07-Dec-18 11:53:24

PECs I find deleting a message IS the easiest way to stop hills of any size developing.

jaylucy Fri 07-Dec-18 11:27:48

Don't feel snubbed. For some reason sons in particular seem to have this idea that they are protecting you by correcting you on comments you make - I've had it happen to me several time by my own son! I usually respond by either posting an emoji of laughing , or even better, of someone sticking their tongue out ! Just carry on as normal - if you want to comment on your grandson's posts, do - it's up to him to put you straight if he doesn't want you to!

Blencathra Fri 07-Dec-18 07:35:38

Excellent solution from PECS.
Glad it is sorted. The lesson is ‘don’t overthink things’.

PECS Thu 06-Dec-18 18:03:59

Glad it is sorted Alexa grin

Alexa Thu 06-Dec-18 14:19:11

What has happened is that I asked my son "why did you snub me on Facebook?" and he had not thought about his reply much at all . I doubt very much that my reply to my grandson, who is listed among my ' friends ' on FB, matters much to him in any way. My reaction seesm to have been a storm in a teacup due to my not getting out enough. Thanks to all who responded to me especially the understanding ones flowers

PECS Thu 06-Dec-18 13:47:17

Really ReadyMeals? Do not make a mountain out od a molehill!

It was probably a typical mis-read on FB!

Either OP did not 'get' what her DGS was really saying and responded too seriously, DS could have just let it go but just did an unthinking reply! Or DS did not get it and was confused by DMs reply & thought she had misread it.

Either way it really not worth a lot of thinking about or a major family fall out.

Just post a grinning emoji and move on!grin

OurKid1 Thu 06-Dec-18 11:28:43

Forget it this time - it's happened and that's it. Maybe considering just using FB for 'liking' photos and updates, rather than engaging in conversation. I read somewhere that conversations on FB's public pages are rather like watching a play where one of the actors started a conversation with a family member in the audience - so making it public. Best avoided I think. In real life you can 'read' someone's facial expression and tone of voice so can adjust comments accordingly. Bit like Gransnet I suppose, though I think we're all aware of the pitfalls there!

annep Thu 06-Dec-18 11:01:07

Yes its fine if used sensibly.

Anja Thu 06-Dec-18 10:56:40

Nothing wrong wth FB. Just delete your own comment and forget about it. Or perhaps post something stupid like ‘my bad’ which seems to be some sort of acknowledgement that you got it wrong wth the younger generation.

Jalima1108 Thu 06-Dec-18 10:20:18

It's fine if used sensibly - my friends on FB are good friends whom I don't see often as they live too far away and ditto with family.

ditzyme Thu 06-Dec-18 09:56:56

I think it amazing that so many people with lots and lots of so-called 'friends' on Facebook actually think these people fit the criteria of friends in the true sense of the word. Would they help if you needed it, if only to be there to message privately? Do they know all about you, or as much as your 'real' friends do, assuming you have real and virtual friends? Would they be sorry if you stopped chatting to them? Boasting about the numbers of 'friends' you have, does it make you feel good? Needless to say, I am not on Facebook!

annep Wed 05-Dec-18 18:14:39

I wouldn't be friends on fb with grandchildren. But if you're going to use fb you need to develop a thick skin. or restrict activity.

Daisyboots Wed 05-Dec-18 18:05:43

I know how hurtful some people can be in their replies especially when they are trying to put you down or trying to make the themselves look bigger. Now I use the emojis and either use the sad (crying one) or the laughing one against their posts if they are trying to make me or others look small.

Saggi Wed 05-Dec-18 17:44:31

‘away from’

Saggi Wed 05-Dec-18 17:44:08

Stay awake from bloody’s toxic!!

harrysgran Wed 05-Dec-18 17:20:21

If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen people join in on a conversation then get upset if they don like a comment

fluttERBY123 Wed 05-Dec-18 15:54:52

They might have taken it that you were trying to be seen as more clever that your grandson and putting him down in some way.

People can get hurt or offended in a discussion or debate but that's the whole point of them, to make us see the other side of an argument. If that is stopped, as in de-platforming people, we are doomed.

yggdrasil Wed 05-Dec-18 15:44:20

I don't see many mindnumbing photos or peoples food or cocktails, but then my friends don't do that. (OK there are a couple who overdose on cats).
Maybe you should prune your friends list? :-)