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Long lost friend "lost?"

(4 Posts)
H1954 Tue 25-Dec-18 00:37:16

For many years I had a close friend, we got on really well and helped each other out with children during illness, working mums etc. I then moved away and over time we did lose touch. However, about 3 years ago, we get back in contact and would exchange emails etc and did meet up a few times for a catch-up. This friend seemed genuine and keen to meet and we did have several pleasant mornings out together going over old times and putting the world to rights.

During this year though things have changed, the friend is distant, has cancelled several times and now has not contacted me for some months. I accept and completely understand all about illness; not been too well myself; and other problems, holidays and personal commitments but I'm at a complete loss now, I know they're "alive and kicking" . I guess the friend wasn't so genuine after all? Just feel very sad about the whole matter.

Eglantine21 Tue 25-Dec-18 08:54:32

I dont think she “wasn’t genuine”. You were good friends once when your lives ran in parallel but life changes us all.

She was happy to try to reestablish a friendship but, for whatever reasons, it just didn’t work for her.

Like most of us she found that difficult to say to your face, hence the letting it drift away again approach.

It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you, just that you don’t “fit” as friends anymore.

Hope you have a happy day today ?

sodapop Tue 25-Dec-18 09:44:18

I agree with Eglantine and you don't know what is happening in her life. It's a shame but for all of us life changes and we move on.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas day tchsmile

EllanVannin Tue 25-Dec-18 10:02:34

I have the most wonderful friend, through the internet would you believe. When we first introduced ourselves some years ago on a discussion forum where often it became heated, I wasn't always kind to her but she somehow didn't seem to believe that that was my way ( being hostile ) However she was right. smile

As the months and years went by we exchanged Birthday and Christmas cards and became close friends and a couple of years back she came to visit me. I was thrilled to meet this lovely, warm genuine person who I knew I'd feel comfortable with as we shared our lives.

We've phoned each other on many occasions and last night I rang her after too long a gap I might add, but it was though there hadn't been a gap as we picked up where we'd last finished speaking.

I think you know yourself that this isn't going to be just a " one-off " type of friendship because of the time you have for one another. We're both interested in each other's lives and share similar interests too.
One quality that we both have is loyalty. I know that I wouldn't have shunned her after a couple of years and she is of the same opinion.

We have quite an age gap as she is only slightly older than my eldest daughter but we don't feel or notice that difference.
Distance to where each of us is is minimal really a 2 and a half hour journey that's all.

Somehow I did expect this friendship to last and know it will. It's the best feeling.