Making extra work

I would be cross hatpev but then I haven't had a husband to annoy me for a long time and am not at all sorry about that!

Of course the next time you are expecting guests he needs to change the bed and prepare the room for their arrival or, if he thinks it okay for them to sleep in dirty sheets, you can chat about this together...

The same with the bathroom, which I know can take ages to clean depending on how thorough you want to be - tiles polished or not etc.

Ask him what he thinks. Its certainly not you Hatpev but if you're the only one who thinks guests need clean sheets?

Thank you for taking the time out from clearing out your gutters to main splain how we women should treat our husbands and partners. However, I have to reiterate that a similar slur has been committed against women this time on "Clicky Groups" where David has made the sweeping statement that women are far more likely to form cliques and hostile ones at that If we are to achieve the egalitarian vision of the world that you so desire Grandad, I wondered whether you could put in an appearance on that thread and point out to David if he genuinely feels for his wife or partner he would not cast women in such a negative light, thus holding them up to ridicule on a public forum. So could I suggest you adjust your "Misandry and Equalities Peaked Cap" take a deep breath, inhale and exhale and make a statement to that effect over there.

Food for thought Grandad if you do not appear to have an even handed approach to such matters you may be removed from your post by the seemingly invisible groups who monitor such sites as Gransnet and Mumsnet for their blatant Misandry and to a much lesser degree Misogyny.

Equality for all we all want to live in a better world

Elegran, there is much we both agree on in both our above posts. However, I feel that if anyone appreciates and genuinely feels for their husband or partner, they would not hold that person up to ridicule on a forum such as this, as some regularly do.

Some men do the cooking, make beds and wash linen. Some don't. Some women do the maintenance, decorate, garden. Some don't. We are all different.

Some people laugh fondly at the things their other halves do and share them with others who recognise certain traits and laugh too. Some people don't. We all have different attitudes to less than perfect spouses. BUT that doesn't make us misogynists or misandrists.

I have no doubt whatsoever that the wives who have posted in this thread love and apppreciate their husbands immensely and that said husdbands know this. I also believe that most of the husbands who talk of how their wives mistreat gears and don't understand how to use the internet are in fact very much pro-women and not misogynists at all.

Oh dear, I think that MissAdventure's post was tongue in cheek.

I had a nice young man come round to clear the gutters this morning. However, last time a nice young woman came to clear the gutters and paint the outside of the house.

MissAdventure Quote [ I expect she's cleaning up after her pesky husband, grandad.
A woman's work is never done! ]End Quote.

Yes MissAdventure, I expect the OPs husband was up the ladder cleaning out the guttering, it rodding the drains, or stopping a tap dripping, or like me this morning draining and cleaning out the pond.

You know MissAdventure, the sort of jobs that even in these days of equality many women are not that keen to undertake.

As we are both on a couple of days off work my wife and I are sharing the tasks that have long awaited needing doing. I have got to say that in all the fifty years we have been married Carol has always been willing to turn her hand to anything especially to help me, and me her.

However, not all women are the same, just like all men are not the same. Just give things a little thought and pull together is the way through, and not to get into arguments about such things as changing a bed, after all, their are such "modern inventions" as washing machines and dryers which make that pretty easy.

Every time I clean the bathroom, without fail, my son decides to trim his beard over the sink - even tried changing days etc!
Whatever he does (and I wish that I knew what) there are still tiny clippings around the sink, even though he reckons he's rinsed it down!
All in all, it's annoying but nothing worth rowing over.
Mind you, nothing better than sleeping in a bed with clean sheets! In future, why not change both beds at the same time and see if he does the same ? lol

Overwhelmed I imagine as to the direction it's taken, the OP comes on here to talk about bed stripping and how her husband hasn't engaged with the task and apropos of that she's accused of being a man hater. Incidentally, on the thread about "cliques" someone called David, who one can only assume is male, but you never know, has come to the conclusion that's cliqueness is a characteristic that pertains to women. I don't suppose anyone on GN can be bothered to take him to task on that, but maybe there's a "group" out there who will file it away in the sinister cabinet of "thought crimes" that surely must exist certainly for the purposes of monitoring the subversion on GN and MN

I expect she's cleaning up after her pesky husband, grandad.
A woman's work is never done!

NOt sure if it’s been suggested, but I’d give him the sheets and ask him to change the bed himself....but wait until your guests are imminent, incase he does the same again...

Has anyone else noticed that the OP has only returned to this thread once since opening it.

I sense a windup, or it could be a group already looking at GN & MN.

Food for thought?

Ironing? Wassat?

DH and I both snore if we have a cold, and are sometimes fidgetty sleepers. Our spare room is fairly constantly used as a retreat for one or other of us from this. I don't iron bed linen, duvet covers are dried over the bannister to prevent too much creasing and pillowcases and sheets tumble dried. I don't like changing beds but it only takes 15 minutes or so to do that and prepare the room for visitors. Surely it doesn't take long to just clean the bath.

The big question is that if you changed the bed and cleaned the bathroom once why is it not his turn this time?

I'm the same as Bassgrammy - it's very often immediate family for just a night or 2, so I don't change them in between. Dh and I often decamp to that bed if we have a cold/can't sleep and want the radio or bedside light on.

They will be fresh on for any non-family. And I only iron the pillowcases. They will be changed on the morning of other guests' arrival only, in case dh or I want it the night before. It's usually me - I often don't sleep well.

Housework is a tyrant, I try not to sweat the small stuff,and in my experience men don’t seem to have as good a handle on hygiene as women.

Clean sheets of course wouldn’t want to sleep in a bed used by others. But why make such a fuss about husband? Common sense suggestions on here. Use them and relax.

I shocked that people wouldn’t change sheets after a visitor has stayed. Even children leave dead skin, wipe their noses and hands on the sheets etc. Dust mites have a field day and bed bugs can be carried in on luggage. I always strip the beds after visitors , even one night child visitors. I don’t always remake immediately. Let them air, then cover with a bedspread or quilt and remake later.

Why not use sleeping bags with a removable cotton inner?

In my humble opinion, if the OPs husband always changed the sheets after he'd slept in a bed (or even when he had not) she would not be so cross.

It's the unequal labour and not respecting her labour that irks.

Grandad said, "very much for equality and respect in both sexes."
I hope that means he has always done his share of all the housework and home chores.

One day, women and men won't assume it's the female's responsibility to do all the domestic work and the man's to do all the maintenance - we will, I hope, all know and participate in both.

I was lucky, until my husband became sick this was how we worked - together as equals.
My sons, having learned early, now do the same with their partners.

oh noes misandry

Felice it does require a lot of patience sometimes. Hope you're feeling better.

Paddyann that does seem a lot of changes and laundry. I don't think I could be bothered doing it twice weekly. It must take half the morning. But each to his own.

I definitely would not let anyone sleep in an unchanged bed. I wouldn't like to sleep in sheets someone else had used.

I would hate to stay with friends/ family and not have clean sheets.

I also think using a spare bed is preferable to not sleeping, laundry is not such a big issue if you are a non ironer. My husband & I have had separate rooms for some time and its so much more relaxing.

When expecting visitors I only do the beds the day before,
Ditto bathrooms.I wouldn’t mind at all if DH used the bathroom though would if he slept in the newly made bed.