Friends after retirement and move?

I’m a bit in the same position in that I’m in a new town, albeit temporarily. I’ve joined the walking group, a gardening group, transferred my WI membership and there is lots of stuff going on at the local library on a one off basis.

I read the notice boards and the local paper and just turn up to events and things people have organised like quizzes or coffee mornings.

I haven’t made any close friends, just casual but that’s what I like really.

I think you need to go it alone. Single people are much more open to a newbie than trying to break into a couples scenario, especially with a reluctant in tow !

We are in a similar position. I play golf DH couldn't get into but plays bowls. As we go round town on a Saturday its Hi Pete Hi Pete everywhere we go chatting to him I am invisible -has anyone ever invited us to their house for coffee/drink - no not once in 8 years. My golf ladies are only interested in competitive golf and I'm not good enough so no socialising there either. I really dont know how you make friends- I have invited people to our house for all sorts but no return invites we must be ghastly people.
Mousepotato I'm sorry but if you are keen to go to church I should go whether your husband does or not.

Do you like dogs? you could borrow a dog from a sanctuary - dog walkers all seem to talk to one another. I know it's not a deep connection, but it might be a start... Good luck.

Are you in the UK or the USA?

This can’t be easy for you mousepotato (love your name!) but you must have thought about it some before you agreed to the move as you’d know your husband? Leopards and spots come to mind. You can’t change him. So you’ll need to branch out alone.

Find a group or two and stick to it for a few weeks, drop one and stick at another. Good luck! I’m sure you’ll make friends soon.

I know they won't suit everybody, but is there a WI? Or a Knit and Natter group? Or a walking/rambling group? Bridge? Yoga/any other keep fit classes? Any charity shops where volunteers would be welcome?
It must be very hard for you, though - I know people can appear very cliquey (or seem to) when they all seem to know each other.

Can your husband play golf or bowls. Maybe there are groups in U3A you would be interested in. A year is a very short time. I felt bereft for the first year after we moved back from Holland but slowly we met people who became friends.
When my DH was working all our friends were couples I had met but after he retired he made friends at the golf club. Yes go to church on your own if he wont come - that is a great place for meeting people.
It is very hard that you are 5 hours away from your old life. Do you have DC in the area?

I think this is a tough one and the conventional wisdom is.....join U3A, volunteer in a charity shop and a library.

I'm not sure any of these actually " work" because what's going on is something deeper somehow. Also this rosy glow associated with volunteering is not always there.

One charity shop I volunteered with, the manager was abusing her position of power and manipulating vulnerable adults, one was totally disorganised and absolutely filthy and one was staffed by people who disliked each other and bitched about each other.

If your husband isn't interested ,you can't make him be interested. Perhaps Church might be your best bet, a yoga class, something lightweight?

I think you're on a loser with getting your husband to be sociable so you can have new friends.
You need to go to the new church yourself and / or any clubs or groups that interest you.
Good luck.