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AIBU

AIBU? - Out with a child with chickenpox

(142 Posts)
fizzers Fri 31-May-19 11:57:35

Went into town to meet up and have a coffee with my sister and BIL. She had one of her grandchildren with her - he had full blown chickenpox - had only been diagnosed with it yesterday. I blew my top and told her it was an irresponsible thing to do, bringing an obviously unwell child out and risking passing it on to people who could be badly affected by it. She said that chickenpox is a mild disease - well not to everyone it's not. Furthermore I don't need to be developing shingles.

I feel somewhat bad about blasting her over it, but surely one of them could've stayed at home with him?

tinaf1 Thu 06-Jun-19 13:27:40

Same here Nvella first son had it but although and not too bad but second son was very poorly in his ears ( where he still bears scar today) down his throat and had to call doctor out to him as he collapsed on floor after getting out of bed

Nvella Thu 06-Jun-19 13:18:00

Has anyone else noticed that the first child seems to have a milder version than the second child in a family? My granddaughters had it a few weeks ago and the second had a much worse dose than the first and I remember the same with my two sons, and other friends had the same experience.

Marylou1977 Mon 03-Jun-19 03:26:55

I developed encephalitis and seizures due to a chickenpox infection. It can be a very big deal. The child should be kept home while infectious. Don’t be stupid and bring an infectious child out in public where there could be contact with immunosuppressed and pregnant people. I can’t believe this even has to be said.

harrigran Sun 02-Jun-19 23:32:30

I had my first serious bout of shingles when I was ten, the pain in my side was so severe the doctor thought I had appendicitis initially.
My next bout of shingles followed a stay in a hotel in Glasgow where I believe a child with chicken pox had been in the room before me. They did not vacate the room and we were delayed gaining entry. I have never been really well since.

Callistemon Sun 02-Jun-19 22:57:24

Not everyone who has had chickenpox will get shingles in later life. However, it does sit at the base of your spine as agnurse says.

Having a lowered immune system could be a cause but why is the virus reactivated?

I had chickenpox extremely mildly as a child but have had shingles more than once.

agnurse Sun 02-Jun-19 16:32:01

Chickenpox and shingles are caused by the same virus.

The chickenpox virus stays at the base of your spine. Later it can reactivate as shingles. It's also possible for someone who has never had CP to get it from a shingles rash.

It's not terribly common, but shingles can and does occur in children. My mother had it on her feet a few months after she had chickenpox. She couldn't walk. If a child gets CP prior to age 1, there is also a greater risk of shingles in childhood.

vena11 Sun 02-Jun-19 16:02:12

My sister contacted chicken pox when she was 32 she was so ill she was nearly admitted to hospital . they certainly should not have brought the child out x.

Grammaretto Sun 02-Jun-19 15:56:33

I'm now looking for a precis of all the good advice on here and information.
I honestly had no idea chicken pox could kill.
I also thought it was the same virus as shingles one led to the other.
It seems both of my assumptions were wrong.
I don't think I have ever had CP. But maybe I did when very young. My brother had it more than once.
My DD had shingles when she was 9. I thought it was a disease of older people. Seems I was wrong.
Thanks GNers.

tinaf1 Sun 02-Jun-19 14:40:36

Interesting post re chicken pox & shingles when I was a child we went on a caravan holiday and I became quite poorly with a very painful rash. Anyway in the end my mum and dad decided to return home early and rushed me to local GP who confirmed it was shingles. He also asked mum if I had been in contact with chicken pox as shingles can be contracted through CP virus. Mum contacted caravan site and it was confirmed family who had caravan week before us one of children had CP.

fizzers Sun 02-Jun-19 12:45:44

Starlady ahhhh that's another issue, both the parents went to work, the baby was in nursery, so the little lad was dumped on my sister and BIL, sis can never say no to the demands of her own children as regards babysitting in their free time (we've had a couple of words about this in the past) and yes the parents knew that sis had plans and wouldn't have minded him going out!

Starlady Sun 02-Jun-19 12:36:55

I definitely don't think you were BU for blowing up at your sister! In fact, not only would I have blown up, I would have left! IMO, it was selfish and thoughtless, not to mention unfair to the child!

But wait... where were the parents? Are sister and her DH raising this GC? If not, why couldn't one of the parents stay home w/ the child? Why palm GC off on your sister and BIL? If the parents couldn't stay home, did they know that sis and BIL had plans I wonder? Would they be ok w/ their taking their sick child out when they weren't feeling well? I imagine not! Sister was put in a difficult position, of course, but IMO, she should have rung/texted/emailed you to cancel or postpone the plans.

fizzers Sun 02-Jun-19 12:34:50

I am interested to read that several believe that CP 'may' trigger shingles in susceptible people, this was definitely the case when I developed shingles a couple of years back, I'd had major surgery, was run down , plus various other health issues, I had definitely come into contact with CP a couple of weeks prior to my shingles outbreak, luckily it wasn't severe, hence me saying in my original post that I didn't want to contract shingles - am not 100% healthwise at the moment.

whywhywhy Sun 02-Jun-19 12:14:10

You did right to blow your top. I had shingles two years ago after I had one of my grand kids to stay over the weekend. Well I just discovered when she went to bed and was putting on her pjs that she has just been diagnosed with chicken pox. I had no choice but let her stay but I blew my top. Then I had shingles and the pain was unbelievable! You did the right thing. Inconsiderate people!

Callistemon Sun 02-Jun-19 12:11:47

I must say, though, that when DD caught mumps, a couple of friends asked if they could bring their little boys round for a 'mumps party' - this was before the MMR vaccine!

They all caught it, including DS.

Callistemon Sun 02-Jun-19 12:08:46

jessycake - it's interesting what you say about shingles and chickenpox - our practice nurse said the same.

I know in theory that you cannot catch shingles from chicken pox but she said that she always noticed an increase in shingles cases when there was an outbreak of chicken pox in the area - perhaps it does give it a nudge especially in vulnerable people.
Certainly my MIL attributed her nasty bout of shingles to the fact that a child with obvious chickenpox sat next to her on a bus journey.
Coincidence?

If a child is poorly for whatever reason, probably the best place is home, at least for the child's sake.

Tillybelle Sun 02-Jun-19 11:54:16

jaylucy. Yes - infectious stage starts two days before the blistery spots, continues until they are "crusted" or dried over with scabs. So the infected person could be at large for those two days. However, usually a person has symptoms similar to a bad cold, runny nose, feeling poorly etc. If it is known that ch/pox is in the area then schools can advise parents, for example, to keep children at home if they have the cold-type symptoms.

Tillybelle Sun 02-Jun-19 11:47:12

grandMattie. I'm so sorry to hear that! And aghast! It's unbelievable what some parents will do! Apart from the dangers of complications with measles and ch/pox, what about the poor children? Being sent to a party when they were ill could not have been any fun for them.

Tillybelle Sun 02-Jun-19 11:40:22

NatashaGransnet Only one person started any kind of "fight" by making a very sarcastic remark. It is only that person's remarks that have caused disruption. She made claims about other people, including me whom she said had "misunderstood her". I had not. When one person does this, the rest of us are left with no alternative but to defend ourselves and explain the truth of what we said.Did this one person wrote to you to complain that we were unkind to her? Please read the thread and decide who the unkind person really was. Many thanks.

I think everyone has been giving relevant information raised by the OP. It's a good OP. I have learned a lot.

The hugely overwhelming majority here agree with the OP that an infectious child should be kept at home!

jaylucy Sun 02-Jun-19 11:25:16

Not really a good idea, but then the infectious stage is actually before the spots appear.
The child will not be allowed back at school until the spots have at least scabbed over.
Would have been more thoughtful of her to have contacted you beforehand and asked if you minded - how would she know if you had had chicken pox yourself?

NatashaGransnet (GNHQ) Sun 02-Jun-19 11:19:36

Hi all,

Just popping on as this thread is becoming a bit of a bun fight. It'd be great to get the discussion back on track. smile

grandMattie Sun 02-Jun-19 06:29:06

My DC got measlesoff two toddlers at a party! Their mother was “bored” keeping them in! To say I was furious was an understatement; I knew the side effects of this illness. And I caught chicken pox off my DC when I was 40. Not a lot of fun!
No, any “childhood “ disease is best kept at home until the FULL quarantine period is over. Our parents were very good at that, fearing any sort of contagion...

Luckylegs Sat 01-Jun-19 23:32:29

FWIW, I agree that Maw belittled and tried to minimise the causes and effects of a poorly child being taken into the community and she can huff and puff all she likes now but it matters not one jot. Her remarks are there in black and white. I want to thank Chucky and Tillibelle and anyone else that have argued and proved her wrong in this thread.

Cherrytree59 Sat 01-Jun-19 22:58:43

Chicken pox is not good news.
My son had it at the same time as his sister, his was mild dose but my daughter was exteramly ill and had to have an injection.

I have had chicken pox twice, my cousin also caught it twice.

I am just recovering from a second bout of shingles, the first was just over 4 yrs ago.

My father had shingles on his face that resulted in encephalitis.

My grandmother lost most of her sight in one eye due to shingles.

I believe in order to suffer shingles you need first to have had the chicken pox virus.

So I would have thought that it would make sense to vaccinate children against the chicken pox virus which would prevent then shingles in later life.

Aepgirl Sat 01-Jun-19 20:57:54

My, then, husband had chickenpox when he was 41. He was so ill - it caused kidney failure, and if it hadn’t been for a very vigilant doctor, it could have been much worse. It’s only a mild illness in children, but very dangerous for older people, and can cause shingles. Very irresponsible of your sister.

Pat1949 Sat 01-Jun-19 20:39:07

No, Tillybell, I’m not pregnant. ??