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AIBU

AIBU to think School Prom for 11 yr old is getting out of hand??

(29 Posts)
Grandyma Sat 20-Jul-19 14:08:30

I’ve never posted before but I’ve just been reading this and I really do think this is wrong on so many levels!! As the grandmother of two DGC who are approaching this age group and would would hate this sort of thing, does anybody agree that this is going too far?? Maybe when they are leaving secondary school it’s ok but for Year 6 children?? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7264099/Mother-spoils-daughter-11-1K-lavish-prom-including-400-dress-horse-carriage.html?ito=link_share_article-factbox

fourormore Sat 20-Jul-19 14:26:22

It's great to hear from new posters - welcome!
You are not being unreasonable - The world has gone mad! Kiddies are no longer able to be kiddies! It is all over the top American pressure in my opinion.

wildswan16 Sat 20-Jul-19 14:27:40

No, you are not being unreasonable. Unfortunately, until the school and headteachers crack down on some of the excesses we will continue to see this kind of nonsense.

A party to celebrate the end of primary school is not unreasonable but I suspect all the children would enjoy it just as much if they wore jeans and t-shirts.

EllanVannin Sat 20-Jul-19 14:31:16

It is wrong and also disgusting that in this climate of many who are struggling that things like this which blatantly show the haves and have-nots are becoming a common feature to further distress many parents and create very visible divisions between the two.

Pushy, showy-off parents are a scourge ! Horrible. What happens when these parents come to a sticky end ?

Davidhs Sat 20-Jul-19 14:36:23

I live next door to a nursery school and last week they had their graduation ceremony, mortar boards and all for 4 yr olds.

Totally over the top

Grandyma Sat 20-Jul-19 14:38:36

I can’t really think of anything positive to say about these proms. Why can’t we let them just be children??

Grandyma Sat 20-Jul-19 14:42:03

Davidhs Another silly idea from across the pond 🤦🏻‍♀️

TerriBull Sat 20-Jul-19 14:57:16

I think it will be another financial pressure on parents along with Christmas and everything else. It's a shame really because I remember year 6 leaving discos where the children had a wonderful time, dressed in clothes of their choice but without having to spend shed loads of money on unnecessary fripperies such as whatever mode of transport to arrive in to make a grand entrance, neither was evening wear, and it shouldn't be at such an age, still children imo. In fact if I remember rightly year 6s had a whole range of great activities in the last term, including a memorable residential week in the Isle of Wight. I know one of my boys would always pick that year as the best out of his entire school life.

Grandma70s Sat 20-Jul-19 15:36:51

I can’t express my scorn for such things enough. Poor little kids.

I can’t remember what, if anything, happened when my sons were at that stage. In my case, in 1951, definitely
nothing happened. We all were still excited that we were leaving the juniors and becoming seniors. No more than that was needed.

agnurse Sat 20-Jul-19 16:08:29

When my kid graduated from Grade 6, she certainly didn't get a prom! It's only in Grade 12 (end of secondary school; kids aged 17-18) that they have a formal grad party, and even then, horse-drawn carriages and limos aren't really standard.

eazybee Sat 20-Jul-19 16:23:45

But at the primary school end of term disco there were little girls dressed in slip dresses, high heels and make-up , all applied by their mothers; they looked like Victorian child prostitutes.
It wasn't the affluent parents who promoted it; very little to do with haves and have-nots.

BlueBelle Sat 20-Jul-19 16:30:36

They are all dreadful my granddaughter just had hers (at 16) she went in her mums car some girls arrived in a fire engines, Cadillacs, army jeeps , and one on the back of a Harley Davidson with an entourage of 50
It’s all horrendous and totally ridiculous She now been offered a Class book at £25
Even worse for 11 year olds what happen per to he end of term disco and don’t get me on toddlers it’s horrible

Callistemon Sat 20-Jul-19 16:40:43

Yes, I agree.
I did post on the other thread that I think the special assemblies for Y6 are a good idea and an end-of-year treat organised by parents is lovely too - but definitely not a prom - or anything like it.

ninathenana Sat 20-Jul-19 17:24:23

A relative posted on FB a photo of her the vintage roller that she'd hired for him to go to his yr 6 prom in.
DD and I just laughed.
Wouldn't be surprised if she hires him a flippin' dinner jacket too. More money than sense.

Grammaretto Sat 20-Jul-19 17:44:52

Another question to ask when you register your child with the school. Do your 11 yr olds have a school leaver's prom?

A Leaver's party sounds fun but what you describe
sounds obscene. What kind of strange messages are these poor kids getting. I didn't encourage or discourage my DD go to her final school prom which were just beginning to be a thing back in about 2005. She was not interested and neither were her friends so they didn't go.
YANBU Grandyma and welcome to Gransnet

sodapop Sat 20-Jul-19 17:56:23

Like all these things they start out as a good idea then get totally out of hand. Another division between the haves and have nots. The schools should be brave enough to limit these excesses, lots of fun can be had without this total waste of money.

Grandyma Sat 20-Jul-19 20:44:19

Interesting that there doesn’t seem to be anyone on here that thinks proms for 11 yr olds are a good thing. Thanks for the warm welcome to a novice poster 😊

Xrgran Sat 20-Jul-19 20:50:13

Terrible for children and parents teachers should refuse to cooperate.

fizzers Sat 20-Jul-19 21:03:34

all of these proms are getting out of hand, daughter just forked out nearly 400 pounds for my grandson, suit, shirt, tie, shoes, haircut, £40 ticket into the venue and taxi fares, I can imagine it will easily be double that for parents of girls.

Calendargirl Sat 20-Jul-19 21:15:26

My GD finished primary school yesterday, thankfully no awful prom or any such nonsense. Just hugs, tears and farewells in the cloakroom.

paddyann Sat 20-Jul-19 22:40:53

we had the "Qualli" trip ,doon the watter on the Waverly ,the Qualli being what you folk down south would call the 11+ I believe and a wee dance in the school hall after it.I wore a knitted skirt and jumper suit with an edge to edge coat over it and my first pair of kitten heels .My aunt had a knitting machine and churned out clothes for all occassions .For the dance I wore a pink shirt dress with a white collar that I wore to death I loved it so much .My GD's are at a small village school so no proms there ,just a day out and a meal in an Italian restaurant owned by one of the parents .They had a great time ,much better than the kids in my street who had stretch limos and full faces of makeup..at 11

Eloethan Sat 20-Jul-19 23:17:36

Just another marketing opportunity which will gradually involve parents in more and more expense.

I feel schools should show no encouragement whatsoever for these sorts of events, which are likely to cause anxiety to parents who cannot afford such ridiculous extravagances.

Elrel Mon 22-Jul-19 03:57:21

Just a chance for some parents to encourage their children to show off.

sodapop Mon 22-Jul-19 08:51:53

£400 fizzers that seems so wrong. There must be many parents who cannot afford anything like that amount of money. Time to call a halt I think but who will be brave enough to be the first.

annodomini Mon 22-Jul-19 09:44:33

Luckily 11-y-o DGS is having a leavers' assembly and not a silly prom. Knowing him, I don't think wild horses would drag him to a prom.