I have never brought up my children to be living near me. Personally to move that near your in-laws or even in some cases your own parents is a bad move. Ive always maintained couples need privacy,whether it be young couples or mature ones. I dont understand your husband moving near them when he knew you didnt all get on. You could have moved somewhere near them given the circumstances, but it did not have to be the same street.I understand he is having a terrible time if his Mum is ill, but you are his wife. I agree with the other poster who said grandparents are there to support, we are not the parents! What I dont understand is how on earth this lady is going to provide childcare for an 8 month old while receiving treatment for cancer. What about times she needs to go to hospital for treatment? This possibly means your child having to go here, there and everywhere. It is hardly going to be settled for him. Worst case scenario what if sadly something happens to your Mum-in-law? Then you will have more childcare issues. I hope this does not happen, but it needs to be talked about. Your husband and yourself need to consider not only the present but the future. You also need to do what is best for your child. I would sit down with your husband and discuss this but do tell him you understand how he feels about his Mum. Make it clear you are not stopping her seeing her grandchild, but tell him how you feel. Having had quite a few family members with terminal cancer, I am really quite puzzled as to how she expects to look after this child. The treatments wipe you out and can make you extremely exhausted. I also would be concerned from a safety angle as in if she fell asleep looking after the child. Im afraid I dont understand the lady's logic. I am sorry she has cancer and sorry that yourself and your husband are in this difficult situation. You need to talk to each other. This is about the best advice I can give.
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