Speaking of other halves ...

I haven't now I am on third husband (yes really!) but I have a home in my own name and some money in savings etc. When I was younger and poorer (and especially with useless husband 2) I used to keep a stash of cash hidden away in the house for emergencies and was often used for necessities.

Secret leaving fund. Hmm, now that would be telling, it wouldn’t be a secret then would it? ?

A disappearing act worthy of Houdini eh ?
I'm pleased to see that so many of you have no need for a plan B, however I'm also heartened by the growing number of you who have this for whatever reasons.
I don't feel such a conniving article now.

My daughter recently went to a financial planning seminar for women and setting up an escape fund was the main piece of advice given. Of course her friend who is in most need of one., doesn’t have one

I always insisted that my wife had her own personal account as well as her business account, my account is my business account which she has full access to and we have also have a joint account.

I believe that all wives should be independent persons and in that independence they can be who they want and need to be. Thankfully my wife chooses to remain my wife and best friend. As for me, I have no choice, I stay with the center of my life, my wife, and that is a necessity for me, not an issue of choice

Nortsat46 that just cost me! Never heard of Moshulu shoes but just had a look and bought a lovely pair in the sale! You should be on commission.

Sparkle, I'm sorry you had such a bad deal. So did Maggie and some others.
I can only say, you probably didn't have a very efficient lawyer. On the other hand, I have to say, because I dealt with all the finances of the Practice, he couldn't hide anything. I kept the books. That was my unpaid job. Perhaps that was taken into account. I don't know.

Oh, I know, schnackie. Which is why I wrote despite my best efforts, I can't get the other half to show any interest whatsoever. Fear not, I have left written instructions for him! And if he doesn’t remember where they are, I’ve told the DC as well.

Nope so far never needed one thank goodness

Once you need it its too late to start it

Nope so far never needed one thank goodness ,

Maggiemaybe glad to hear you won't leave him, but what will he do if you die first! Both partners should always be familiar with all aspects of family finances. (I should add, that does not include the secret stash. Wish I'd had one when I needed it.)

I have always looked after our joint finances. OH has no interest. I have warned him for years I could leave him penniless. Happily married for 34 years . My only worry is if I go first so have a notebook to guide him through the finances. Had our situation been different I would always have a secret fund. I could not hand all financial responsibility over to someone else.

I have my own bank account which is quite healthy and investments in my own name so could be OK!

I have my own account, and Husband doesnt ask about it, as he has his own too.I always maintain financial independance,one never knows!

Many, many years ago, my very funny Irish cousin told me that on his marriage he put a £10 note under the glass of the dressing table so his wife had enough for the train fare if she felt she had had enough. She never felt the need to use it. He is very much missed.

Nooo, he had and has far more than I do and I was keen to put in the effort to keep the fires burning, so to speak. After 40 years I called time and it paid off.

Yes not much though but will need it soon as am running away from a miserable, tight fisted, gaslighting husband

I didn't have a secret fund and wish I had. When I found out about my ex's affair I didn't kick him out immediately - just into the spare room - but I started stashing away what I could at that point. Unfortunately I was on a very low income so didn't get chance to save much. I was lucky in that he prevented me getting a divorce at first, thinking he'd do better when the children went to uni. In the end he was made redundant and got a new job abroad so instead of me having to sell the house, I managed to keep it as he wasn't looking to buy a home, so I did a deal where I took the equity and agreed to no maintenance. I've ended up with a fairly valuable house and as soon as I retire I'll de-clutter and downsize. I'll be able to enjoy the proceeds in my retirement. If he had stayed in the UK I'd have struggled to keep a roof over our heads!

Good grief CrazyH No I didn't have a secret 'leaving' fund but I knew the courts would be very fair to me and they were.

Trust the courts? That really is crazy! (See TheMaggieJane's post above)

My ex lied to the court, cheated, falsified documents, reneged on legal agreements, bounced cheques on me and lied to the children. I had to find my own way and sell junk at car boot sales to put food on the table and keep a roof over the children's heads. I would never trust the courts.

Every woman needs financial independence.

Mr Barmey manages the financial stuff and he is very good at it I must say. Every now and again we sit and talk finances and discuss investments and future plans I have always had my own bank account and some savings but I have no intention of leaving him.

I have always worked full time (had three children close together). Always earned my own money had my own bank account. Very different attitudes towards money from my husband. He was a spender/I was a saver. So when he died four years ago he left debts. After I paid them off I am solvent though not wealthy. If we had a joint account I may have been left with no money.

My mother always had what she called ‘slush money ‘ she advised me to do the same.
I call it my secret purse ... it’s always gone on small emergencies so far ..

What a good idea. Women need to keep as much independence as they can.

No I never did but my DS did aged 4, which consisted of 4 tea bags, tube of toothpaste - no brush, an oxo cube, and a roll of toilet paper in a huge suitcase under his bed. Too many Famous Five stories I guess.

Welcome to my world Joyfulnanna....I have only had ‘an escape fund’ since 5 years ago when I got my state pension. I found the bravery to open my own account , instead of my money going into our joint account which he totally controls! He screamed every abuse at me for three weeks....but I braved it! I still pay my pension into my ‘escape fund’ and I told him I’d he wants me to keep house for him ..cook for him... do e erythibg job you could possibly kebthink if in our house , then he’ll have to consider it my ‘wages’ ...long, long overdue financial independence.