How can I put up with so much then flip over the peppermill

LittlemoO, I wish I could have been there for you. If there is anything I can do let me know. I understand.

Nothing as major as you ladies have had to deal with but after a period of prolonged stress I had to take all the (then small) children to the supermarket with me.
When packing up at the checkout they were messing around & I just shoved everything in the trolley & left the shop. Just as we got outside a precariously perched fish pie fell out of the trolley & "exploded" everywhere (as did i).
This has gone down in the family annals as the "fish pie moment" & even now 25 years later there are murmurings about a repeat of the fish pie moment if my brow starts to darken!
Hope that things improve for you soon Roses

When my sister died I thought I was doing well, looking after my mum and other sister, keeping the house running and making sure the kids were ok. On one particular day hubby and I went to our local supermarket to get some bits in for visitors who seemed to swarm out of nowhere and mum insisted they all had something to eat, everything went as a usual food shop usually went until I found out that they didn’t have any chickens due to a delivery problem, this tiny silly thing pushed me right over the edge and I went in to a major meltdown! I genuinely think hubby and other shoppers thought I needed some serious help!
We laugh about it now, but at the time, it felt like the end of the world.

After losing my son, the Doctor said it would help me to have counselling, had previously been through a traumatic divorce
trying to pay the mortgage, bills etc, two daughters, not exactly helping, saying " you should meet Dads girl friend she is so nice".
So I did see a counsellor, and she said imagine a tank, being filled up with every problem that you have, when it gets to the top, there is no room for any more, so it bursts and flows over,
this is what happens to us, when we can't take any more.

Oh Carooline I'm so sorry you have been so I'll I hope you are recovering well .I totally understand your upset over your eyebrows it's really not fair after all you had been through. There are excellent ways of faking eyebrows now available at beauty clinics which last for about twelve months my friend had this done and it looked amazing sending a hug

I was diagnosed with colon cancer, I went through all my appointments & tests pre surgery. A massive op, 6 days in critical care followed by 4 days in ward, 6 months recovery etc etc. You know what my breaking point was, several months after my op I looked in the mirror and... No eyebrows. I broke my heart, silly considering everything I'd got through but that just about finished me off.
Seven years later... Still no eyebrows ?

It's a safety valve, we all do it, none of us can cope indefinitely and most of the time we hold it together, but very recently I cried an entire afternoon over something that I should have let go, that's after years of stress.

I was offered two lots of accomadation but both were a long way from my house which would mean early morning travel to get back for the workmen arriving, also I didn't want to be feeling lonely in a strange area on top of everything else. At least I could sit in my garden and see familia faces when out walking. I have to admit there were times when I wished I had moved out

If you take a glass and it’s full the next drop you put into it makes it overflow - that’s whats happened to you. You’ve managed and managed then the last drops puts you over the edge..

You seem to be living a nightmare. No wonder you flipped when sonething totally unexpected happened. Were you not accommodated in a hotel somewhere until the drying out had at least been managed. Just keep thinking how lovely your home will be when it's all sorted out.

A few years ago my sister died age 54 after a short battle with cancer. My daughter had massive mental health problems and my youngest son was about to leave home. I got through that then totally lost it with someone over something silly. I could hear the words I was saying but had no control.
Fortunately I managed to put it right but someone else who wasn’t involved held it against me. I had to get counselling and was told if i hadn’t exploded I could have had a breakdown.

Roses. I am sorry about your horrible flood and pleased that things are now beginning to go your way.
Sheilasue, I am so sorry to hear about your son, a terrible loss.
When my husband died I showed everyone a brave face, but secretly I started gambling and lost nearly £21000 which I am still struggling to pay off. I also bought thousands of pounds worth of jewellery from a television jewellery site. It is beautiful though and I wear it a lot. I never gamble now nor buy jewellery.
Mealybug, modern jars can be a devil to open. Try this 'appliance of science' trick. Stand the jar in a bowl of cold water, up to its neck. Drop a little boiling water onto the lid. Leave for a minute, then lift out the jar, and with a rubber glove you will find that it opens easily.

Oh yes, my husband died very suddenly from a heart attack when he was 46. I dealt with the police, funeral director, probate and all that goes with that and was coping until I was trying to get a lid undone off a bottle and couldn't. I would normally have just called my husband and asked him to do it but, instead, I just started crying. I think it was just the final straw - it did make me feel better afterwards though, especially when my daughter said her Dad would have said 'Silly sod, just pierce the lid with a knife to release the vacuum' (which would have been exactly what he would have said)

I can really empathise with you. My ex husband had financial adventures and we were going to lose our home and through it all I coped perhaps not well but the best I could and then my son so proud of the Batman figure he had received for his birthday took it to school and it disappeared. I went to speak to his teacher who said “Well he shouldn’t have brought it to school” that was it I cried.

Yes, many times. I'm surprised you didn't 'flip' along time ago Roses. I truly hope things get easier for you soon x

It was the straw that broke the camel's back

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Perfectly normal. I’m so sorry to hear about your flood. You have coped with so so much but then got tested that bridge too far and flipped. It happens to me in different ways. My mum criticises me for days on end and suddenly I explode! She says I’m over reacting but in fact I just left it one comment too long to put an end to it. Another example was I drove 1000 miles alone to Calais no problem. I coped with funny engine noise, flat tyre, border stuff, got on the ferry and burst into tears and sobbed because they’d run out of chips ! I’d driven across Europe looking forward to chips lol. You we’re looking forward to your dinner and suddenly even dinner doesn’t go right ! It is the straw and the camels back isn’t it?

Oh Roses what a difficult time you have had. So glad that you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. A few days away sounds just what you need. Strangely enough my Husband did exactly the same thing with the pepper mill a few days ago, peppercorns everywhere. There where some expletives and I broke the ice by saying to him I was impressed by you Gordon Ramsay impression! With all good wishes for the future.

Thank you for all your kind messages especially after some of the aweful things that had happened to you. The rooms are up to plastering at the moment and being decorated next week so I ban see the light at the end of the tunnel . I'm going away for four nights to angelsey as I can't stand any more mess

You have been so stressed out that the peppermill thingy was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Hope it's all OK now.

Roses I don’t think you reacted terrible I think you must be devastated as an under statement about what has happened, maybe you are keeping all emotions in as you are so busy organising things. Also living so confining must be hard work.

I flooded 2007 and the house was stripped back to bare walls floor to ceiling. Only brick and sub floor soil was left. The drying was so long winded too, unless you’ve been flooded you never know the trauma involved.

It’s called the 50 dollar slap in business circles.
The stress builds up throughout the day, at work or at home and it is major stuff but you keep a lid on it and manage it ok.
On the evening, perhaps your child knocks over their drink and they get the (figuratively speaking) 50 dollar slap. A good roasting for a minor thing.
I suppose it directs us to deal with stuff properly and not suppress it.. cause it erupts somewhere down the line.

yes, i had a massive meltdown once, very randomly, over an empty bottle of milk. You had tremendous pressure over the last few months and it's good that the steam came out over a peppermill. It's healthy. I don't believe in keeping it all in. Just think that from now on it can only get better. All the best

Oh yes, can fully understand why you flipped.
Somehow we deal with the big things in life , sometimes keeping a lid on our emotions , and then something relatively silly happens and it's as if the world has come to an end!
You've just had your "cork out of the bottle" moment and it may well happen again before your home is your home again.
If I was you, and if you possibly can, get away from your house this weekend, if only for a day, do something different just for yourself - even if it's something like a lunch out or a cream tea - you are owed a treat !