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AIBU

AIBU by refusing to get a mobile phone?

(105 Posts)
LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 15:42:42

A few years ago it was an issue at work & they said I had to buy one. I pointed out there there was nothing at all in my contract saying I had to buy a mobile, or indeed anything else, to do my job effectively.
In the end they provided one and it never once proved neccessary. My line manager would text me out of hours with stuff that could have been emailed to my work email and dealt with when I got into work. Sometimes she'd text late at night or at weekends or when I was on leave. I never replied and dealt with it at work so in the end I left it in my locker, switched off and only switched it on at work. Not that it was ever needed during work hours either. When I retired it was a joy to hand it back.

So far, so boring BUT increasingly friends are pressuring me to get one. Not having one is not a problem for them as far as I can tell. I have asked specifically if my not having a mobile has caused a problem and they say no but then come up with hypothetical reasons which haven't ever happened or are unlikely eg what if you were knocked down on the street? What if you were abducted? I can't see that having a mobile would make a difference.

If I go and stay with friends I tell them what train I'll be on and anyway, I know where they live and don't require being met at the station or anything. The world did function before they were invented. So far I have never phoned or texted once on a mobile, not even on my work phone. It was really pointless having it.
Friends that do have one are often just contacted by people asking them to do things for them. If people need a favour they can ring my landline. It's the same number I've had for forty-odd years and people ring me on that.

So, none of you have a dog in this fight and have no agenda about this... Am I being unreasonable?

Nannarose Wed 25-Sep-19 13:30:57

Thank you LondonGranny, for coming back to us and letting us know what you are considering. I personally think that a cheap, simple PAYG a very sensible idea, and helpful for your friends & family. Everything else is a lifestyle choice.
And I don't give out my mobile number (except when relating to holidays). I found that if I gave it to, for example, the dentist, they would always ring it in preference to the landline, and I wouldn't pick up the text or message for days!
And yes, I have friends in London with poor mobile signals.

Scentia Wed 25-Sep-19 13:05:50

I may have implied you were telling untruths about your signal, but you started it by implying I am stupid enough to let an animal who licks her own arse lick my grandson and on top of that you implied I was contemplating leaving him in a room with said filthy animal to await a savage attack?

LondonGranny Wed 25-Sep-19 10:49:50

OK, back from sorting office and parcel collected. No it's not a mobile phone, it's crocus bulbs that need to be planted asap so I didn't arrange for redelivery
...anyway another (recent) link for how bad mobile reception in central London is plus an explanation as to why plus a more general link from the Independent about mobile reception in cities based on government research.
As I mentioned before I've been persuaded away from my original stance by informed and reasoned opinion.

I'm not worried about a random implying I'm a liar because where this is concerned I don't value your opinion based on what seems like uninformed prejudice...I hope you never sit on a jury though...

www.quora.com/Why-is-mobile-phone-reception-in-central-London-so-bad

www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/uk-worst-cities-mobile-signal-best-worst-london-birmingham-leeds-o2-three-vodafone-ee-a8318491.html

henetha Wed 25-Sep-19 10:37:29

You are not being unreasonable, it's absolutely your choice whether or not to have a mobile phone.
I admit to being deeply attached to mine though. I wouldn't feel safe without it now.

LondonGranny Wed 25-Sep-19 09:34:03

Well, it's true, know London bigs itself up all the time but there's a lot that isn't as brilliant as London would have you believe. If you scroll back you'll see I'm seriously considering a basic PAYG for when I'm on holiday.
I'm about to head off out but the first credible link I found for 'bad mobile connectivity London' gave me a breakdown of worst spots on a commute. St Pancras is the worst. It's a thing. I know it's not recent but I'm in a bit of a hurry...there may be plenty of masts but there are definitely dead spots. Also in areas where lots of flats are being built there's major problems getting broadband too.

www.itv.com/news/london/2014-10-14/top-10-worst-phone-signal-spots-for-london-commuters/

Scentia Wed 25-Sep-19 06:02:29

On another note, are you seriously expecting us to believe that in CENTRAL LONDON you have no mobile signal.

Scentia Wed 25-Sep-19 05:57:55

It seems to me that you are feeling a little ‘Holier than thou’ that you choose not to have a mobile phone. Why else would you have made this post. Hopefully when you next need help the person next to you has one because they most certainly won’t find a public landline. Well done OP you are better than the rest of us as you have no mobile phone.

BlueBelle Wed 25-Sep-19 05:51:08

The thing is you don’t have to have a mobile no one is putting your arm up your back and you don’t sound the sort of person to have your arm twisted anyway You have given every reason under the sun as to why you shouldn’t have one, but why ? You don’t have one you don’t want one so what on earth is this thread about Every reason that someone has given you has been dismissed by you, so why on earth ask?you already know that you don’t want to be dragged into the 21st century so why change, stick by your principles
You are proud you haven’t succumbed to modern technology so well done you
Why ask a question you already know the answer to ?

Doodledog Tue 24-Sep-19 23:45:25

I wouldn't be without mine; but I don't think it's unreasonable not to have one if you don't want one. Unless, that is, you ask others to use theirs to make 'a quick call', or to take a photo and send it to your daughter, as your phone doesn't have a camera - oh, and daughter doesn't have WhatsApp, so sending it costs 50p for a text message, or take a message (or 3) from your son when his train is late, so you don't waste time at the station, or . . .

I'm sure that you wouldn't do any of these things; but I have a friend who has done all of them, and more. She doesn't use Facebook or Twitter either, which is fair enough; but she complains bitterly when she can't easily access things that are on social media, such as special offers, or tickets for things.

I have pointed out that it's up to her whether she uses them, but as (a) she does have a computer, (b) both Facebook and Twitter are free to install, (c) she can use them as and when she likes (so neither is intrusive), it is like someone refusing to have a landline and expecting other people to knock on her door when they want to contact her.

So overall, whether UABU depends on whether you really don't want to use one, or whether you don't want to own one.

Tangerine Tue 24-Sep-19 22:40:15

I think it's up to you what you do but I have found my Smartphone to be very useful indeed.

I do accept that some people seem addicted to their phones. Moderation in all things is probably the best policy.

MissAdventure Tue 24-Sep-19 22:32:58

I rue the day I ever got a mobile, but no getting out of it now.
Everything is online these days, sadly.

ElaineI Tue 24-Sep-19 22:30:59

I use my own mobile a lot and enjoy it but if you have never wanted one then it is your choice. I expect you see a lot more of nature and what is happening around you if you are not distracted. I had one at work (from work) and it was switched off when I finished work. Did not have access to work emails at home and it was brilliant. My boss had about 100 emails a day and even when at home was answering them - definitely a bad thing as she was so stressed!

Bubbe Tue 24-Sep-19 21:39:08

I like my own space and used to feel as if my privacy was being intruded upon.

But with my limited hearing I find the use of messaging a godsend. Its only family and friends who have my number, so I'm never bothered by unwanted calls.

I really love the WhatApp groups. After a lovely time spent with family or friends we will often message the group to say how much we enjoyed ourselves and to say thank you.

GagaJo Tue 24-Sep-19 21:16:17

I have always had a mobile. But my daughter is currently borrowing mine, because hers is broken, and she needs one in case my grandson has some sort of emergency.

I don't miss it in the slightest. Most people message me on Messenger or email me. I HATE talking on the phone. Other than the plumber, who pretty much only texts (no emails/messenger/phone calls), no one has even noticed.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 21:13:03

In fact my neighbour's adult children all have my landline number for emergencies because of the no signal issue.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 21:10:21

...also I love it when my neighbour uses our landline because it is always accompanied by a pot of tea, a chinwag and gales of laughter smile

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 21:04:31

It's not my family who want me to get a phone, it's friends. As I say, no signal at home ....my adult children (none at home any more, the youngest is in his 30s) & husband are all on different networks and none of them can get a signal at ours so I ring doctor, dentist etc on the landline.

My husband gives the landline number to gig venues, Musicians Union Directory etc (he's retired from everything else though) because we can't get calls or texts at home any other way.
If I lived in Leamington or Llanelli it might be different. If you are in a little squat terraced house surrounded by highrise blocks (with more going up around us) you can't get a signal.
Also because he was a computer programmer he won't touch internet banking with a bargepole because it's so dangerously insecure. He does telephone banking but only ever via the landline.
If I do end up getting a very basic PAYG that does calls & texts it'll only be because I'm visiting Leamington or Llanelli. My next-door neighbour doesn't have a landline so she often uses ours because she can only get a signal if she's out & about.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 20:49:04

Actually in Central London there's a fair few red telephone boxes still around because tourists love them...same as with proper old school Routemaster buses because they're so iconic around the world you could show someone in Mongolia a picture of either & they'd say 'London!'

Cherrytree59 Tue 24-Sep-19 20:40:16

In days gone by LondonGranny whilst out and about, if an emergency arose, the chances are that there would be a nice red telephone box not too far away.
However nowadays you would (in my area anyway) be hard pushed to find a working Call box.
They have either been removed wholesale or the telephone has been removed and the red box has been repurposed.
A nearby village uses theirs as book exchange.

No not unreasonble as completely your call (no pun intended) smile

However I think it would also be reasonable to take on board any concerns your family have and understand that they may feel happier knowing that you had a least a basic mobile.

SunnySusie Tue 24-Sep-19 20:39:03

Just removed our landline because the whole family use Giff Gaff on our mobiles - calls to other Giff Gaff phones are free. Saved money and got rid of all those nuisance cold callers and recorded messages.

I find text messages invaluable, the dentist, hairdresser and vets all obligingly remind me of my appointments by text. My bank account now uses verification texts, as do quite a lot of booking web sites. If I am meeting someone who is running late we can exchange texts. I can get text alerts for flights when meeting friends at the airport.

Also use the mobile as a SatNav both walking and driving. Use WhatsApp to keep in touch with the family. Buy tickets for the cinema and the theatre on line and have them on my mobile so I can go paper free. Use an app to find public toilets, worked out a new route when my train was running really late last week, check the bus in real time, have an app for both regular taxis and Uber.

Even better I feel connected to people, in the sense that having a mobile helps me to understand how vast swathes of the population interact with the world. That is really important to me.

quizqueen Tue 24-Sep-19 20:24:50

My adult daughters keep trying to force me to upgrade to a smart phone but I'm happy with using the most basic of second hand basic mobile phones on PAYG. I put about £30 in credit on per year and use it to text and receive calls only.

My friends and family telephone me if they want to talk to me. I 'prank call' family if I need them ( which is rarely)when I'm out and about and they get in touch straightaway as they have unlimited texts/calls in their mobile phone contracts ! I use my landline at home to call other landlines as I have unlimited calls in my monthly internet/telephone package.

I'm not a dinosaur and use a laptop regularly at home throughout the day to research or buy anything I need to and send emails but I have no desire to keep looking at a mobile phone when I'm out. I want to live in the real world, not a digital one, and notice what's going on around me. I think it's very sad to see others just walking, glued to their phones constantly, especially mothers with young children who seem to prefer their phones to interacting with them.

sodapop Tue 24-Sep-19 20:10:25

I have a smart phone and enjoy using it for all sorts of things. However as you say Londongranny they can be intrusive. I keep mine in my handbag when I am out with friends and check for messages only when I leave. No screens at the table and all left downstairs at bed time.

Oopsminty Tue 24-Sep-19 20:05:48

Not unreasonable, no. If you don't want one then that's fine.

I'd be most without mine though.

TwiceAsNice Tue 24-Sep-19 20:01:51

I use my phone for calls, texts and email. For online shopping. As a sat nav in the car. To keep in. touch with family via WhatsApp and many other reasons that make sense to me. I am not glued to it sometimes I don’t use it for hours but I feel it enhances my life and would not be without it. That’s my choice it’s obviously not yours and that’s fine. Just not sure why you have to have “permission “ not to have one!

kircubbin2000 Tue 24-Sep-19 19:49:37

I dont make calls but daughter sends lots of pics of the kids as i only see them a couple of times a year.Also they have a family what's app so I can see what the other families are doing without having to phone when they are busy.