To feel annoyed with my husband

PS. It doesn't mean you don't love and appreciate their good bits just recognising that they do some things really well but not so good at other things. Same applies to us. It's like life - swings and slides and even roundabouts on a really good day.

I live with someone similar and it drives me mad. Don't give up on the holiday, just go. He has made an application and surely if he can't make a paper application when he hits Aussie, surely the IT system can be interrogated so see what's going on. Hopefully this will be a lesson learned for him.

When your dear one is an avoider/procrastinator/stuffer arounder you just do it. No time wasting discussions or conversations. If it's important or has time constraints, just do it. Welcome to Oz. Hope you both have a really great time.

I hope he has learnt a lesson from this experience! Have a great holiday

I think you both deserve that holiday! Have a wonderful time. ?

Thank you again for all your responses. Fiorentina, thank you for the information. I have applied for our etas tonight. When I initially looked there was no requirement for British citizens to obtain a tourist visa, an eta, for New Zealand, but thanks to Fiorentina telling me, I realised the situation had changed, on 1st October this year. Apparently the tourist visa should be turned around in three working days, and unlike Australia, the applicant is given information of what to do in the apparently unlikely event of this not happening. In addition, as we are going to cruise to New Zealand, I know that all the cruise companies get immigration on board and sort out entry requirements, tourist visas, for their passengers, and so we could have left it for Celebrity to do for us, but we decided to do our own. Obviously when we enter Australia we will not be on a cruise ship, and in fact we are staying in Sydney for a few days, and so we urgently needed the tourist visa for Australia.
All of this has happened on one of our most busy weekends, with having the twins with us, not to mention the dog, which has particular needs, medications etc as she has undergone two spinal operations this year. Today both our sons visited us, one with his wife, the other with our seven year old grandson, plus I brought my 92 year old mother to the house too, as we see her every day, and do a lot of care for her (she lives in a sheltered apartment nearby, and lives independently with our support) and so we’ve had coming and going all day, plus feeding people etc. One little five year was taken to his football club, and DH took the three children and the dog to the park after the rain stopped whilst I got the kitchen sorted. But a happy day none the less, and my anxiety has levelled out.
Thank you again for advice, support, and happy holiday wishes, it is much appreciated.

www.newzealandetavisa.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpsvyh_3d5QIVWfhRCh0q6gb1EAAYASAAEgLhD_D_BwE

Please check up on the need for a visa when travelling to NZ. We are going in the new year and have been told that a visa is required from October 2019.

When I read your post I immediately thought the same as Maw to have set date, tell him if it’s not done by then you’re on it! Luckily all’s well. Enjoy your holiday maddyone it sounds wonderful!

PHEW! you're ok maddyone, you can both go off and enjoy this wonderful holiday.

That's great news.

No, unfortunately Alexa I think you have to fly into the airport of the embarkation port, go through immigration then make your way to the port. Immigration is quite rigorously enforced in Australia.

I'm glad it has resolved itself, Maddyone. Perhaps your dh will have learned a lesson after having a self-induced stress headache yesterday!

Enjoy your trip.

PS I just read your happy update. I'd have more than a stress headache if I had to do all that travelling!

My husband dumped me years ago and I can't afford such holidays never could. Although I know nothing of holidays and husbands I have seen them on telly, and I wonder if you could not simply join the ship without officially going ashore in Oz.

What a relief.

Now, after our hiccup one time, we (I) always apply for the visas before booking flights.

Have a lovely holiday, can you smuggle me in your suitcase please?
My visa's still valid!

I m with dragonfly in future don’t even mention anything so important just do it yourself He can’t be in control of something he doesn’t know about
Control is often a man (or maybe a woman’s) way of allaying fear or panic My son bless him a wonderful husband and father could be accused occasionally of control but its covering his anxiety in some situations, luckily he has a wonderful wife who understands totally and makes necessary adjustments in the relationship

I am afraid I always do these things myself!

Thank you so much all you dear ladies who responded. I have excellent news this morning, overnight Mr M’s visa came through. Phew, what a relief. I have learnt a valuable lesson, Maw you are right, either give him a cut off date or do it myself in future. Ladies, your suggestions were appreciated, most of them we already tried in our acute anxiety yesterday. I felt sick and unwell all day, and Mr M suffered a stress headache, which is very rare for him.
We have our five year old twin grandchildren, and their Labrador staying with us, from last Thursday till Monday night as our daughter and her husband are in Athens as she is running the Athens marathon on Sunday. Their baby brother is with the other grandparents. Like me, our daughter suffers from stress and anxiety, and running has helped her enormously. I suffer depression, but I take medication and normally with that, I’m absolutely fine. However stress causes the symptoms to come creeping back and yesterday I felt awful, but with having the children here, we just had to get on with it. Sadly these mental health issues run in our family, but I don’t hide it away. But anyone would have been stressed yesterday, and like myself, totally relieved today.
I just want to thank you all again for your responses, which I read last night. I do find Gransnet therapeutic when stressful situations hit.
Also I do realise that despite the worry, it was very much a first world problem. I was reminding myself of that yesterday whilst I felt so anxious, I’m don’t think it relieves the anxiety, but it is an important thing to hang on to.
Thank you.

I'm just back from Australia and our visas were sent electronically within two days. Hopefully, your dh's will arrive asap. If not, you're well within your rights to be very cross with him.

Can you look to see if there are ways the holiday can be salvaged if the visa doesn't come e.g. join the cruise ship in NZ? Did you book it through an agency? If so, ask them what can be done.

In future, just take control yourself of arrangements. Don't ask or tell your dh, just do it. You can always smile sweetly and say you were saving him the effort.

maddyone
I can understand you being very annoyed and upset - I would be too. He sounds really lovely though - apart from being a bit of a control freak. In my experience and that of my friends, lots of men are control freaks but they're not all as kind and helpful as your husband sounds.

I hope you get the visa on time and have a wonderful holiday. A very anxious time for you both though - and so unnecessary if he had listened to you.

Grammaretto
You have to have an electronic visa which is recorded on your passport. You don't receive paperwork but just an email confirmation, however I always print that off and take it to be on the safe side.
The immigration form is something else; you have to fill that in and hand it in on arrival.

I just looked and their website is down for maintenance from 2pm tomorrow to 9 am on Sunday so I would try them again asap, not sure if anyone will be manning the phones at the weekends though.

Can you phone the Australian Dept of Immigration - I think they have a London office.

We once made the mistake of booking our flights before applying for our visas, DH's came straight through but mine was refused

I phoned and a helpful woman said she would investigate as there was probably someone with the same name and dob applying - she expedited it and it came through in a couple of days.

A Visa usually comes through very quickly if you apply online - have you applied for the correct one? It is so easy to app,y for the wrong one as there are several categories.
I think you need an eVisitor visa which is free.
Apply through Australian Immigration, not through a Visa bureau which could charge.

I hope it comes through quickly and you don't have to go on your own!

No you are definitely NOT be unreasonable to be annoyed, especially after reminding him so many times! It beggars belief that he would risk leaving something so important to the last minute! My OH is exactly the same...it's so infuriating, but I've learnt not to say too much, although in your situation I do all that type of thing, so it wouldn't have arisen.

I really hope that the visa arrives on time, but you could do without the uncertainty over such an important document!