Putting a DOG before a child? ABIU??

It's the dog's home and the host wants their dog there so that should be the end of it,it's up to them at the end of the day, you don't have to go at all, just accept it, it's not your house so either don't go/go ,simple as that. There's no need to make trouble about it, by having words with other relatives while you're there, that would just be petty, snidey & ruin a happy occasion. When you have a party you can make sure they'e told not to bring the dog!

I think the cousin is using the dog as a scapegoat, she doesn't want young children there, her own young grandchildren aren't attending either. She's quite entitled to say who can and can't attend but I think she should've been upfront about it

PamelaJ1 rather than use overnight babusitters we would take the children with us. Use a hotel babysitter for a few hours while we were at the main do, then "tag team" for the evening do. Then make a day of it together the next day.

It's fine to chose not to do that. But there ARE options.

Magpie, I do hope you come back later to this thread to let us all know what happened about the party and what the other guests thought of the dog being there.

It's a tricky situation but I think that if I were in that position I wouldn't go, and I would tell the hosts that I am afraid of dogs. This is true anyway as you are afraid - that the dog might bite your grandson.

It has been suggested that the child’s parents leave him with a baby sitter and go themselves.
We had this situation when my DGS was 5 and wasn’t invited to a wedding.
The wedding was about 150miles away and would have needed someone to look after him for at least one night and maybe two. As he hadn’t stayed overnight with anyone other than family and we were all unavailable. It was all too difficult.
Maybe it would be the same in this case?

Murdering an animal is hardly fair on it............

In truth the “problem with the dog” is actually a problem with your cousin not socialising the dog adequately. Yes, the dog is likely to bite anyone so perhaps cousin should front up to the fact that they cannot host the party and that they have ostracised themselves and ruined what could probably have been a lovely dog. Apologies if this sounds harsh but too many humans are too quick to blame the animal. It can only work with the tools it’s given.

The problem is not with the dog, it's the owners! They have allowed this dog to carry on like this without doing anything about it!
What is the point of inviting everyone else to their house if they have a territorial dog ? What do they expect to happen to the 3 y o - to be stuck in a cupboard somewhere for a couple of hours?
Suggest everyone clubs together to hire a village hall or go to a pub/ restaurant and the dog can be left at home!

Prone to biting, not good. I wouldn’t like to take the risk of anyone being bitten. My dog would be put into kennels for the day, sorted. Having said that I wouldn’t continue with a dog that bites, sorry.

I’m sorry but I think that a dog that is known to bite should be put down, it’s totally unacceptable, the owners have obviously not trained it properly, what if it were to escape and bite a small child? There have been far too many attacks like this already, totally ridiculous!

I am surprised that the dog owner thinks it is a good idea to have a large dog at a party where there will be a lot of excitement and a lot of people the dog doesn't know.

Seems a bad idea to me. The dog won't enjoy for a start....too many intruders/people it doesn't know.

And why spoil a reunion like this? A family get together for a dog? Wrong. You Are Not Being Unreasonable

Dog owner is being completely ridiculous.
I have a large dog and when we host a party he is kept well out of the way, usually in his outdoor cage (not a crate) for the duration.
It’s not just about small children, but plenty of people are not keen on dogs so why would you risk subjecting your guests to close proximity with a dog that’s already known to bite?

In fact, there’s a higher likelihood that having lots of new people suddenly wandering in his territory is going to cause the dog greater anxiety leading to unpredictable (entirely predictable!) behaviour.

It would be this recklessness on your cousin’s part rather than the exclusion of the DGS that would cause me to abstain from attending the party. After all, you can still catch up with the NZ relatives at the wedding.

The owner could do all kinds of things; kennels, shutting the dog away, but she doesn't want to, which, seeing as it is her house, her dog, and her party, seems fair enough to me.

We used to have a dog that simply didn't like children. She'd lived with a family before she came to us and was treated badly, mainly by the several children in our family. She was fine with our own daughter but I would never have trusted her with any other children, so if children came round she was shut in a different room.
I can't see why the dog couldn't be put in a kennel if that's what is done when other children visit, but it could be, as others have said, that she simply doesn't want children of that age there, in which case I would have thought it easier to have just said so on the invitation.

If the dog is at risk of biting, it should not be in a party atmosphere. Children should come first. It sounds like the dog has problems that may not have been addressed. I wouldn’t want to be there if I’m honest.

sounds theres more to it on their part, but why not invite your family to lunch to meet your grandson, without the cousin and the dog,

I think the dog owners are being utterly stupid. Put the dog in an upstairs room/with a neighbour/in the shed/in the garden etc. etc. Anywhere will do for the dog. The child comes first by a long way. Ridiculous situation.

3 year olds really are too young to go to such a party. The family dog poses s slight risk because children can grab tails etc? All the dogs ? know are fantastic around kids wary and bored of them on the whole. And if any muzzles are ever used NaeVER the soft ones. They are cruel and bind the dogs mouth shut. Humane muzzles can easily be purchased (like plastic cages) so the dog can pant etc. I think your cousin is saying her dog is more important to her than your grandchild - She’s the piper

I am very much a dog person. My two are spoilt, but I agree that is unacceptable. Years ago, I had two very well mannered Standard Poodles. They had never shown any sign of aggression, but were not used to children, their squeals and sudden movements, so I always put them (the dogs) out if the way, in another room on the rare occasions that we had a small child visiting.

Well Magpie this has made me so angry, we have always had dogs because the children wanted them - not now we are on our own. I think your cousin needs to get a grip on life, she puts the dog in kennels when her own GC visit REALLY, I would not give houseroom to any dog that I needed to do that with. Whilst I live dogs humans will always come first especially children. Your daughter is right not wanting to go without her adorable little boy.

Owner of many dogs in my life also had many parties I would never have a dog which had to be kept away when Grandchildren or other children visited. Small events dog about in their home never bit anyone loved by most people attending. Large parties dogs shut up but given many short walks. Her Grandchildren are being denied the great pleasure of being with friendly dogs obviously thinks more of her dog.

The host is not having her own grandchildren there so perhaps she sees no reason to have another small child there. The child is too young to care about meeting unknown relatives. As has been suggested one of your close family could stay with the child to let everyone else attend. You could offer to pay for the dog's professional care to keep everyone safe (or shame her into doing it herself). there are many solutions, choose one and then let it go.

I am not in favour of a dog being in the presence of a large gathering of humans he/she may not be familiar with and more so if this includes a child/ children. The kindest thing is to take the dog to kennels .My local kennels, as will many more, give a twenty four hour boarding arrangement.
You may not approve your grandchild being left out but not your business to 'step in' which should be left to the child's parents.

Isn’t there any way she can secure the dog away inside but that it could still enjoy the company of the guests.
My Chorky is aggressive when he first comes into contact with people so I have a metal playpen stretched across the arch separating the two rooms. When I’m expecting company I secure both him and my yorkie behind there. Although all Penny my yorkie wants to do is lick them to death. I warn people not to approach Buddy as he has a tendency to nip any fingers extended towards him. After they’ve met Buddy a few times in this manner he becomes their BFF and is able to be left out when they come again.
Can she not invest in something similar, she may just need a baby gate across a door which of course would have to be kept an eye on but at least your DG could come and meet the family.

I have been reading these posts with great interest, I used to breed
large dogs that I would trust completely...with the exception I could not justify leaving any dog around children unless they were both ,,,,child and dog completely supervised, in saying that in might not be possible at a party. I also have GC but under the circumstances I would be staying at home and graciously decline the invitation.