Putting a DOG before a child? ABIU??

A self fulfilling prophecy ?

jeanie, as they say on the other place, RTT. This moved on, the party happened, the dog bit someone

I think the best thing all round is to have the dog in kennels for the party at least.

Your cousin is not thinking straight how will this territorial dog behave with many people milling round.

It's a dangerous situation waiting to happen I would have thought.

Can someone else speak to her other half.

Failing this I wouldn't think of putting my grand children in such a situation or anyone for that matter.

Maw - I'm with you, we take a similar approach to dogs. I have a safety gate and the dogs stay in the Utility when our small grandchildren are here. Also if we have a large gathering of family and friends. Dogs don't often lie in a corner if there are people who may fuss them, especially if there is foo around on tables they can reach. It's simple - for those of us who love our dogs and understand that they're dogs, domesticated pets rather than wolves but they're dogs. children first, then people, then dogs. Dogs don't benefit from being elevated above people, they need to know where they fit, then sit happily there.

Yep, sorry.
I too had missed that the party is over and the dog had the time of his life.
Perhaps threads that are out o& date should be deleted?

I wouldn’t go to the event. Certainly not take any chances if there is a dangerous dog there. Not worth it.

I feel sorry for the person who was bitten, but as a dog lover I am also sorry for the poor dog. It must have been distressed and should never have been put in that situation. What on earth was the owner thinking??

Alexa. The Cinnamon Trust do short and long term fostering for dogs, cats, budgies and anything else in need. I’m sure if you were still fit enough to look after a dog they would find a match for you. Mum got in touch with them soon after dad died as she knew we couldn’t have her so really she was sort of fostering her from then on.

Have a look at cinnamon.org.uk.

Yeah MAW ..not quite sure about this whole post any longer since reading the OP's last post. Maybe just me but... non of it makes sense. Unless the owners of the dog are insane of course?

So... backtracking...they arranged the party for dozens of people, knew the dog was erm temperamental? kept the dog there (despite OP requesting muzzling) and it bit and snarled at the guests? (what did the person it bit think about it? Did everyone flee in terror?) Then they apologised to OP for not inviting the grandchild (why would they apologise if the dog was biting and snarling at everyone).

Agree with all the comments about dogs being dogs and some dealing with some things and not others but would ANYBODY in their right mind invite people to a party with relatives they haven't seen in years and put them at risk of being bitten?

If that is the case then the cousin and husband are the mad ones and should be locked up themselves bahaha

I apologise in advance if someone has said this already, but often when a dog shows uncharacteristic behaviour issues, growls or even nips it is because it has been put under undue pressure because of fear or over excitement. A large family gathering, especially with small children is precisely that sort of situation. The poor dog is then blamed and, worst case scenario, may be destroyed.
We had dogs since DD2 was 2 (a Labrador and subsequently greyhounds) so always big dogs and I trusted them implicitly.However I used to put them in a different room, behind a baby gate or even in kennels if necessary for everybody’s peace of mind unless supervised or if the parents were likely to worry.
For instance I discourage my SIs in law from bringing her Lakeland terrier (except in summer when he and Hattie can sort out the pecking order in the garden ) because he has been known to nip when someone tries to leave the room. He is a sweet dog but very territorial and while I have no fears for adults I would not risk him near tinies.
So much as I love dogs, a dog is a dog and a person is a person.
Sensible decisions have to be made when they are likely to be together.
Who takes precedence?
People every time.

NfkDumpling, thanks for your story. I am on my last dog due to my age . If she dies before I do maybe the Cinnamon Trust would let me foster someone's dog, do you think?

My aged mum had a Staffie who took her job of companion very seriously, never leaving mum’s side except to go for her constitutionals with Cinnamon Trust dog walkers and myself. She loved people and other dogs but was terrified of children. A child on the beach did a cartwheel next to her when she was a pup and it freaked her out. Humans, even little ones, weren’t suppose to do that! Their unpredictability was too much for her. A dog which bites through fear isn’t in control of it’s own actions.

If I took the grandchildren round she would happily go into her crate where she felt safe but could still see mum, and they knew not scream or run around. When mum had to go into care we had to say that we couldn’t have her as DD1 and family wouldn’t be able to come to stay. Incredibly the Cinnamon Trust managed to re-home a ten year old Staffie!

It does seem that this cousin was rather silly to have a large gathering when she has a dog inclined to bite. Like mum’s dog this one probably nips/bites/snaps through fear and nervousness rather than viciousness. Especially if it feels it’s position in the house is being threatened by all these incomers. Add random plates of food and goodies around the place and the poor dog must have been really stressed!

Luckygirl

It probably doesn't bite when with the Owners. I presume they think they can keep it under control. I don't know if they take it out in public but they must have found out somehow that it bites children.
See my reply above about my 2 small rescued dogs. I keep them away from people. Some of my visitors to my house specifically ask to meet them but they are always people with a good knowledge and experience of dogs and these dogs have never growled at them! I have a large garden and it is big enough for them to have fun and exercise. When my DGC come to see me I put these 2 little dogs in a separate room. Sadly my DGC live hundreds of miles away so the visits are extremely rare. It is obvious that the dogs find little children very frightening. I have two other friendly dogs, very small too, also rescued, but they are safe with people. I have to watch out for the dogs' safety concerning what people do to them rather than the other way round actually.

A dog that nips or bites means the Owners have a responsibility to ensure that they maintain the safety of anyone who can get near it. Indeed all dog owners should never take for granted that their dog will never bite or nip. People do silly things to dogs - I have witnessed this - and the poor dog will defend itself. My circumstances make it easy for me to give my two nervous dogs a happy home while maintaining the safety of other people.

The person giving the reunion party sounds stupid and dangerously irresponsible to me. If the dog bites children it will also bite adults given the right or rather wrong circumstances. A lot of people in the house, with food too - would easily be the wrong circumstances. The Owner(s) have to remove the dog from the premises for the duration of the party. See my first reply about what I do. Alexa says the same! Take it to the kennels for the day.

Thanks for raising an important issue! The dog is never to blame. It's the irresponsibility, stupidity and idiocy, plus, I have seen many times, sheer arrogance of the Owners that is at fault.

It is best to remember that any and every dog might bite under the wrong circumstances and we can never be completely sure when those might be*.

It is possible to keep a dog safely that might bite a person if it were scared and cornered. I keep my two rescued and previously cruelly treated very small dogs away from people. I live alone and it is easy for me to give them a good life and keep them well away from children, adults and anything in between! The garden is dog -proofed! On the annual booster trip to the vet, the small one wears a muzzle and stays on my lap, the slightly larger one goes in a transporter cage. They love the Vet even though he sticks a needle into them! But in the Waiting Room I take no chances.

Dear Magpie1959,

You are NOT being unreasonable! This idea that a dog which is dangerous has to be at a party specifically for a family to meet up, and a child who is possibly the youngest in the family must be excluded because the owners of the dog cannot control it, is beyond madness! Utterly crazy! Very wrong! Totally unfair! Mean! unreasonable! Beyond excuse!

I am so sorry you and your DGS have been treated like this! It is so very unnecessary and so crassly hurtful!

I am an extreme dog-lover. A nut-case about my dogs. I do not go away for more than 2 nights if I can help it, and then only because it is to see my beloved DGC. When I saw the headline for this in my emails, I thought I'd be explaining how hard it is to leave a dog for days, say, to travel abroad, and that probably it was a dog with problems like my rescued and very nervous dog who was treated cruelly.

But this is a stupid reason for excluding a child who is a member of a family. The dog can easily be sent for temporary accommodation in a professional kennels.

Even for my own dogs, all rescued and with special needs, I have made sure I have a friend who is a professional dog person who can look after them if I need it. We even arrange for them to go there from time to time for a few hours so as to familiarise themselves with his dogs and the surroundings. I pay him of course. It is part of being a dog owner to have these arrangements for when you need them. It's essential to have a back-up. There could be an emergency when I am unable to look after them! I once had to be rushed into hospital for example.

However, for the duration of a party, just part of a day - well the answer is simple. For example, when I was in better health a few years ago, I gave a little tea party at my house. The house, being small, does not easily lend itself to separating dogs from people especially if we want to use the garden. Therefore I arranged for my good friend to look after them that day (and paid him - he is a professional) so that none of my guests would be bothered by the dogs. Many people don't like dogs, especially when eating. It also meant the dogs wouldn't be upset by having lots of people in the house.

This idiotic person is a bad dog owner. The dog needs to be muzzled anyway. On the rare occasions my dogs are out in public I soft-muzzle them. Two growl at people and I also find that people and children especially like feeding them "treats" which is a problem. I would think most people at the party will find a dog like this a problem.

The the dog needs to be off the premises for that day. Surely it would be easier to prepare the Party without the dog around anyway? It's obvious! Everyone should be able to meet all the family and that means it's very important for your little DGS to be there!

I'm really sorry this has happened. People like this give dog-owners a bad name and that infuriates me. But most of all it is so unfair to you, your children and your DGS.

Please bear in mind that I come from the pro-dog lobby! I am usually trying to explain why dogs need a bit of special attention! So I think my response may add further weight to the argument that your cousin is being more than unreasonable by not making arrangements about the dog and by excluding your little DGS.

I do hope you meet your relatives from NZ and that you have a lovely time with them, not just at the "party" but maybe you can meet up another time together? Good luck!

My grandchildren come second to no-one especially a damn dog.
I wouldn`t go end of.

The dog shouldn't be biting full stop, and your cousin needs to be made aware of the law which doesn't come into force only when the dog is outside of the house. If she wishes to remain with her head in the sand perhaps publicising this situation to your wider family might teach her a lesson - I can't imagine anybody would share her thinking on this one. We have dogs and even on days when we have a visitor who isn't happy around dogs, we can arrange for a dog walker.

I have a dog that can bite. I have the situation well under control and, providing rules are observed no one gets hurt. He bites because he was severely abused and mistreated through no fault of his own. He simply fell into the wrong has as a little, 8-week old puppy. For 6 years of his life he suffered at the hands of a sub-human dog hating type.

He is actually the most forgiving and loving dog. But he will never forget and my family understand him.

Why would anyone keep a dog that bites? Perhaps in your book he ought to be destroyed to complete the picture of abuse rather than rehabilitated and given some love for the first time in his sad little life.

Nope your are wrong and she is right.

She presumably knows her dog isn’t safe around young children. They (the children) can act unpredictability and spook some dogs. It’s her house, her dog, her party so get over it.

With respect That’s not a good enough reason really!
I have always had dogs, but would not contemplate having an unpredictable one around other people, especially children!
Prevention is far better than cure ! It’s just common sense is’nt
?
Plus if your family really cares about their dog they wouldn’t want it getting stressed with other people around, where is the common sense ? Really it’s a NO Brainer !

Luckygirl - “because it’s family” ?

I have one simple question: why would anyone keep a dog in their home that bites - just why?

I await the answers.

Have you been to your cousin’s house before?

Any dog that bites is not suitable for guests of any age . An aggressively territorial dog can't be safely educated. Maybe the insurance policy would not cover for the dog if a guest were to be bitten.

Why doesn't the dog owner put it in a boarding kennel for the duration of the visit?

It bit a guest - FGS! Get rid.