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If you were sitting at a bus stop in the pouring rain....

(115 Posts)
Gonegirl Fri 22-Nov-19 21:44:27

...with a couple of old blokes also waiting for the bus and a man in a car called from his open car window, "that would make a lovely photo", would you have a. Smiled and laughed along with him, or b. Flipped him the bird for being so bloody patronising and ageist?

farview Sun 24-Nov-19 12:17:24

A few years ago..in Proserpine Queensland....there were three men,probably in their 80s,chatting &laughing....I asked them if I could take a photo of them..they were flattered,the photograph is beautiful..one of my favourites...memories of the lovely chat I had with the three guys...

Eloethan Sat 23-Nov-19 23:59:46

I don't actually know how I'd feel about it because I didn't experience it. But gonegirl was there and I assume there was something, not just about the words but about the manner in which they were said, that she found patronising and annoying.

I think if I were sitting at a bus stop in the rain (and it was possibly a bit cold too - and I might have been waiting for some time) I might feel a bit miffed at someone sitting in his warm, dry car finding the sight of three older people in a bus shelter in the rain entertaining.

Namsnanny Sat 23-Nov-19 23:33:02

Ok.

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 22:12:18

I'm not upset namsnanny. Just mystified.

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 22:11:10

I have no idea what you are talking about. Too long winded for me.

Tedber Sat 23-Nov-19 22:09:45

Oh! OK so you WERE asking seriously if you were being unreasonable then?

So the majority said they thought you were?

What is miserable about us all then? You asked and were told what people thought.

No need for bad language t.b.h. I wouldn't seriously expect to actually 'get' a lift from him - no matter which way he was going bahaha...

Namsnanny Sat 23-Nov-19 22:09:20

Lots of language on Gn goes over my head.
I'm very often mystified why people are behaving the way they do.

Honestly gg, I'm not on the same page, so sorry your so upset!

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 22:04:04

Not that I would have got in a car with him.

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 22:03:30

And, as I've said before, he was going the wrong fucking way!

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 22:02:27

Nothing tongue in cheek. Just wish I hadn't started it at all with you miserable lot.

Goodnight. moon

Tedber Sat 23-Nov-19 21:50:17

Gonegirl Maybe just the wrong forum to start a tongue in cheek thread? You are asking if you are being unreasonable on AIBU....maybe if you had posted on the 'chat' forum, the responses would have been different? Just a thought.

For the record, I don't really think I would have been offended - maybe would laughed and asked him for a lift - as someone else suggested?

Bellanonna Sat 23-Nov-19 21:22:23

I’m sure chewbacca laughs at things she finds funny

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 20:21:29

You need to grow up chewbacca and have a bit of a laugh. smile

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 20:20:23

?

Chewbacca Sat 23-Nov-19 20:15:44

I just put two fingers up

hmm

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 20:09:09

I didn't flip him the bird (down on the street aren't I? smile ) I just put two fingers up

GagaJo Sat 23-Nov-19 19:51:03

Baggs, people ARE quite capable of being unintentionally offensive. Doesn't mean they meant to be rude but they are.

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 19:25:20

Yep! It's that kind of birthday card I've been thinking of Amagran. I don't like those cards.

Amagran Sat 23-Nov-19 19:21:06

I am quite happy to laugh at myself when I am being stupid in shops, for example looking for my glasses when they are sitting on top of my head. I still maintain that I would not be amused if someone called out of a car window in passing - in that situation I would have been laughed at, not laughed with.

If they had been walking past and there was chance to have a laugh with them, that is a completely different situation.

No one wants to end up being mocked in a sepia-tone photograph on a birthday card with a speech bubble coming out of their mouth. Oops! sweeping generalisation - some on GN might not mind! grin

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 18:53:21

You never know how things are are gonna be taken on Gransnet, do you.

Gonegirl Sat 23-Nov-19 18:52:15

Oh for heaven's sake. I was only kidding about always looking for ageism, although it's true ageism is something I dislike.

The chap was being ageist. You had to be there.

Wish I hadn't started this thread. Thought it might be enjoyable. Or at least fairly lighthearted.

Baggs Sat 23-Nov-19 18:45:54

Anyway, it seems gg was kidding on, as is her wont. ?

Baggs Sat 23-Nov-19 18:45:11

If it felt offensive, then it was offensive.

I don't agree with this. If a person feels offended, certainly they feel offended, but that does not mean that anyone intended to offend them, nor that anyone was offensive.

Just thought I'd chip in with that. It isn't necessarily someone else's fault if I take offence.

Amagran Sat 23-Nov-19 18:34:43

It really depends on how it is said. I would probably not have been very amused by someone calling out from a car window, because it would not have been clear to me what was so remarkable about 3 people sitting in the rain waiting for a bus.

Not a million miles away from wolf-whistling.

I don't really think that anyone but Gonegirl would know whether it was offensive. If it felt offensive, then it was offensive.

Chewbacca Sat 23-Nov-19 18:22:55

There was no way he would have said that to a group of forty year olds.

How do you know that? confused
Have you seen him regularly pull up at bus stops and specifically call out to waiting passengers who are 60+?

I live my life watching out for ageism

Then I'm sure you'll find it somewhere, at some point of the day but why go around seeking it out? The driver could have been a keen amateur photographer who looks for interesting snapshots of daily life. I'd have smiled and said "You're right, it would". But then I'm not a perpetually offended curmudgeon