Tipping in restaurants - what's your criteria?

JulieM. You don't have to pay all the tipping charges on a cruise ship. Just pay what you think they deserve.

I find tipping uncomfortable. I would rather prices were higher and decide from there whether I want to eat out.

20 min wait isn't long. Were there more than 4 of you in the group, was the restaurant very busy, were the courses individually made or were they the "bought in" variety. Christmas Grump by the sound of it!

I make sure they know I'm paying my share of the tip under duress as its a group outing.
It's a ridiculous and outdated system,

Oh I agree totally with you kim I never make a fuss if I m with a group just go with the flow and would not say anything to upset the others after all it’s my personal feelings

We leave 10% in this country and whatever's the norm when abroad, and I don't think a 20 minute wait is bad. It's the restaurants with the huge menus that can get your meals out in 3 or 4 minutes you've to worry about! We only once left without tipping - the owner was "serving" us and some of his friends were in. He barely glanced our way whenever he had to leave their table, just plonked our plates down and scurried back to join in the conversation.

As for cruises, I agree that the tipping system can mean a significant sum to pay at the end, but if it was done away with it'd just have to be charged upfront as part of the holiday cost. This would be preferable imho, as some people queue up on the last evening to have the charge taken off. I'm happy that it's shared between everyone. They all work very hard for very low wages, whether they're front of house or behind the scenes washing the bedding.

Re the US, I do recall a porter who helped us with luggage (we had 2 small children too) being extremely rude when we failed to tip him.
The trouble was, we'd only just arrived and had no notes under $20, and this was decades ago. IIRC dh did explain and apologise, but he was still very rude.

On any future trips we made sure we had some smaller denomination notes available.

I used to tip in the UK, but I no longer do. In the US, waiters are just paid a retainer by the restaurant, the bill is for the food, the tip is paying the waiter and that is fair. In the UK and other countries, waiters are paid a wage. I stopped after having a conversation with my then, Spanish teacher. Somehow the subject came up and she told me that when she first came to the UK, she worked as a waiter. She said that tipping isn’t a thing in Spain, and that when she was tipped here, she felt offended, as if she was being patronised. She pointed out that she was earning a good wage and that it wasn’t necessary. That where they are paid £10 per hour, that is £1770 per month, and that many restaurants pay their staff more. She added that since hubby and I are living on pensions, it was crazy to tip. After that conversation, I have never tipped in a restaurant in the UK. That said, I still cringe when I leave without doing so!

I earn minimum wage in childcare, very often miss breaks and have to listen to complaining parents on a daily basis. No one tips me several times a day for my effort; I am just doing my job just as other service staff do, so I only tip in exceptional circumstances. I think the idea is ridiculous that it is the done thing in some jobs and not others.

My husband is a very generous tipper. Recently, we stayed overnight at a Travel Lodge and he left the chambermaid a fiver. He said that he wouldn't want to do her job. He's the same in restaurants. We are not wealthy, hence the Travel Lodge. I am much tighter! 10% but if the service or meal are poor I will leave nothing.

I'm another one who doesn't agree with tipping - why are we expected to tip for some jobs but not others? It's an outmoded tradition which should be ditched in this day and age.

I always tip coach drivers after a safe journey, my hairdresser too, i give her a Christmas card with money as well. When out for meals i always tip the staff because as many say on here it is usually young students and they always need money

Our daughter lives in the US and it is obligatory there to tip - good service or not, although the service does tend to be good. However, also added to the tip is sales tax, which can also have a state tax + tip so the bill can hike up considerably. They will almost ask why a tip is not left if you don't leave one , which I always do as I don't want to be chased down the street by irate waiting staff! I do agree though that if service is not good then you shouldn't tip.

I would like to ditch a tip altogether if waiting staff address a mixed party of over 65s like us as 'you guys'.

But I don't. As long as service is pleasant and not over-slow, with no major cock-ups, 10% is usual.

One occasion where we should perhaps have ditched it, was when we were entertaining 3 friends who we rarely see, in a fairly expensive London restaurant.

The waiter didn't just give dh the bill - he read out the total loudly enough for everyone to hear!
Talk about a breach of etiquette!

Dh phoned the management the next day. They were extremely apologetic and assured him that the waiter's training would be attended to PDQ.

I always leave tips - my sons all worked in pubs and restaurants (and did paper rounds) when they were at school/ Uni and depended on the tips to make up their wages. It can be a very demanding and thankless environment to work in. Having said that, I don't leave a tip for my hairdresser as it is her own business, but I always say thank you, and sometimes take a gift.

I would not tip if the service was poor, or the quality of the food was poorer than I had expected.

Surely most tips are put into a "pot" and shared out amongst all the staff, these days.

I would expect to be told when ordering that I would have to wait 20 minutes for a dish, so I could order something else instead. Any kitchen working a la carte has everything ready so a starter can just be assembled on the plate and that most certainly does not take twenty minutes! been there, done that for years,

I don't tip at all. They are paid to do a job, as I got paid . to do my job. Nobody ever tipped me for doing my job

Think if you want to have freshly prepared food you need to be prepared to wait for it. If I go out to eat with a group we pre-order a few days before hand, that way the restaurant knows what is required & have the chance to be on the ball. Normally tip for happy polite service.

Don't know how things are now but when we lived in NZ they were proud of the fact that they didn't want tipping. Came as a big surprise to me. I believe Australia was the same. My daughter worked in pubs/restaurants as a student and worked her socks off, always went the extra mile because thats her nature (especially for the pensioners) very proud of her.

I agree Bluebelle, I don't usually tip even if in a large group. I have been known to ask how the service charge is shared. I really see no reason for tipping, I would like to tip the wonderful carers that look after my daughter but they are not allowed to take money. So why waiters and hairdressers.

Sorry Dilly I agree 20 mins is not too bad for a group if everything else is on time. However I do think restaurants etc take advantage of the Christmas party season and pack in as many people as they can without having sufficient resources to cope. So many other groups work equally as hard so I'm not sympathetic. I agree with Ellie BlueBelle and
annygee. This system is unfair to all.

Oh Bluebelle completely agree. I’d be very in favour of paying for a meal a ‘correct’ price, knowing that all the staff along its preparation line has got a decent wage. That would then eliminate the discussions re to tip or not to tip. Wouldn’t life be easier? Start a referendum???

I don't tip. It's old fashioned. Everyone should be paid properly these days for the job they do. Some people say 'well the waiters/waitresses aren't paid very much'. Well they should be paid a proper wage like everyone else. Why should the restaurant owners get away with paying the waitresses a pittance because they assume people will give tips. It's not the 1920s.

Wonky

I agree with your friend, I only tip if the service is good. I don’t think you should feel pressured into tipping just because it’s expected.You wouldn’t tip the taxi driver if he dropped you off short of your journey or the hairdresser if she/ he gave you a winky fringe. So I’m with your friend on this one.