Renewal of wedding vows - what's the protocol?

Just asked my DH if he would like to renew our wedding vows. He looked really startled and said “Whatever for? I don’t see the point!”
I’ll take that as a no, then.

hicaz46, your post was very moving. What an emotional day that must have been for all concerned.

Some couples might want something to mark their important anniversary, 25, 30, 50 years. If we get to these landmarks I'll opt for a short break to celebrate. But like everything else, personal preferences. If you are invited to one I would take a bottle of drink/flowers or if a charity box has been organised then even better.

I can see why there might be situations where a couple might want to renew their vows, but I don't understand holding a second wedding with loads of guests present. That just seems tacky to me.

I've told before about someone I know who did the whole thing (white dress, bridesmaid, best man, flowers!) every year during a cruise. Her husband's business went bust and they divorced!

@GrammaH
Very kind of you to give us your views too. ?

If vows are meant the first time round and have been kept, why is there any need to renew them! It's just showing off, in my opinion.

I don’t see the point of renewing the vows. Marriage vows are quite specific, and the declaration is “for as long as you both shall live.” Till death us do part In other words.

I must be very innocent because it has never occurred to me that people might be renewing their vows because one of them had cheated. It certainly hasnt been the case in the ones I have been invited to. What a strange way to think.

Actually renewal of wedding vows has been around since the 50s that I know. The vicar at our local church in 1954 said he was going to have a renewal of wedding vows and at Sunday school we were given a paper announcing it to take home to our parents. My parents were coming up for their 15th wedding anniversary having married a few months before the beginning of WW2. So they decided they would like to take part. Mums first wedding ring had been like a gold curtain ring so unbeknown to her my father bought her a beautiful engraved ring which was much thicker than the original one. So when they renewed their vows my lovely dad slipped the new ring on her finger. It was followed by tea and cake. My Mum continued to wear both rings until she died in late 2014 so for 60 years. I now wear her original wedding ring on my little finger.
I have nothing against renewal of vows if people want to but I dont understand the need to wear a proper wedding dress and all the trimmings to celebrate 25 years of marriage. Especially when they wore a wedding dress the first time around too. Maybe I am just old.

Each to their own but for us we don’t feel the need to renew our marriage vows,

I've been to two vow renewal ceremonies, the first in 1972 and the second was several years ago:
1) The couple had been married in a register office, so took advantage of their child's christening by combining it with a service to renew their vows in a church.
2) The husband had confessed to cheating and hoped to demonstrate his new commitment to the marriage; they're still together.

I think that if a couple choose to do this then I'm happy to support them.

I don't have much of a view of the Renewal of Vows per se but if my husband suggested it, I'd look at him very suspiciously. I have known 3 couple go through this although never attended. Two of them split up reasonable soon after so perhaps theirs was a sticking plaster and the third one was a married boyfriend of a friend! I was somewhat taken aback when she told me what he was intending to do. I made up my mind there and then that my vows would not be renewed!

My daughter!er went to one. Afterwards she kept referring to it as their Rewedding. It was very lavish apparently the same as the original one.

Pleased to be weird with you CBBL! I hope your Vow Renewal service is a wonderful occasion for you both

I’m with you lemon see my post 4 comments in ... ‘cringeworthy’.

We went to a vows renewal a few years ago, tbh it was a bit strange and ever so slightly cringeworthy.
Anyway we took a present, a lovely basket of jasmine.Most people brought a present, but not all.

I think a vow reaffirmation in a quiet low key affair with just the 2 of you is quite different to re-enacting your wedding at a big ceremony in front of all your friends and family.

I plan to have a Vow Renewal Service for our tenth Wedding Anniversary. Neither of us have or will have "cheated" - nor do we have any problems! My hubby and I married in 2014 - I was twice widowed and he twice divorced. We married in Church and (apart from various disasters such as the Best Man not turning up - and he had the Orders of Service) it was a lovely ceremony! We simply want to celebrate our marriage at the anniversary. The Renewal service will again be in a Church - though we expect to have moved home from England to Scotland before then - and the type of ceremony will depend on what the Church will offer. There will be no huge party (probably not even a small one) and given how far away we will be from family then - probably few guests. Hopefully, the congregation will be there, and we will have made friends with at least some of them. We will just be re-living our special day, repeating before God the vows we made then and hopefully hearing and singing our favourite hymns. This is something for us. We expect no presents, nor do we expect anyone from our friends and family group to travel what will be many miles for a ceremony which may mean nothing to them. Obviously, from comments already made - I can only assume that we are weird! That's fine. I'm perfectly happy with the idea.

I agree Anniebach

Such a pity some see muck not happiness

We've never felt the need to renew our vows. We did the 'till death us do part' bit and 45 years together strikes me as enough evidence of our commitment. Renewing them would make me feel that they'd somehow been forgotten.

Having said that, I know of people who have done it. One man surprised his wife at the daughter's wedding. Another was family (we weren't invited, but their adult children, and their children were).

I can understand why some people would want to do it, going by the stories on here, though.

Anyway smart, but not as fancy as a wedding, for dress code I would think.

My husband and I renewed our vows 5 years ago because out original vows were "throughout out married life together" which to me sounds like "until we divorce" !
So we wanted to say "till death do is part" plus my husband is religious (I'm more of a pagan ! ) and wanted to have a minister
The other reason for doing it then was because he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and we wanted it to happen when he could still remember.
In July we have been together for 30 years and married 22 and he's slipping away from me but I remember that day in my mum's wood with only 30 people and think of him before Alzheimer's stole him from me

OOOPS sent too soon.
I would not take a gift if I had been to the first wedding.

I agree with Desdemona.
I always thought one had cheated and the other has forgiven them but the vows were broken so lets start all over.