Touching other people's babies

My mother always put a coin into a baby's hand. Apparently if they grasp it they will be good financial managers, if they drop it they will be bad with money.
I wouldn't touch a baby I didn't know without asking. Playing games and waving is entirely a different question. My DS calls it "Granny disease" he says we all get infected with it and start smiling at any baby we see!

I have to say I'm shocked that so few people wash their hands after going to the loo. It takes a minute and stops people spreading germs and bugs around. Bloody selfish.
I also don't understand people who turn on the tap and then barely wriggle the tips of their fingers beneath the water. How much extra effort is it to wash your hands properly?

Babies who can sit up and are put in the seat of a shopping trolley are going to pick up germs. This is the age when they attract the attention, and hold their hands out, so I can’t see that there is any point fussing about someone touching their hand. And in my opinion, too young to be learning about consent.
Having said that , I don’t touch other people’s babies, or dogs, for that matter.

It seems to me that we have our own way of doing things. What we all were happy with as young mums is pretty much what we do as older people. I am another who 40 years ago hated people touching my children. I am still outraged by the assumption that it's ok it I'm afraid - however well meant, so I just don't do it.

To those who have rescued children from impending danger, I feel this is a different case! Thank you to the man who rescued my daughter from a road once when my child escaped from our (enclosed) back garden.

I was delighted as a young mum if a stranger played "peeping" games, and smiled at my babies and toddlers and was more than happy to engage with strangers with and about my infants on a friendly level.
Touch is something else.

Like some other posters I never touch other peoples children though I do often smile at them, wave at them, wiggle my fingers etc. I confine talking to them to a friendly hello. I sometimes talk to the adult about the infant "she's looking very happy today" for example, which I feel is communication without any presumptions.

I am not, nor ever was, particularly bothered about germs (however would not want that dirty coin in a baby's mouth - or someone's fingers!). I am bothered about the Herpes virus though, which can be devastating for infants and adults alike, (my father had shingles). My grandchildren have plenty of cuddles and kisses - but only when they want them. I never forced or expected my children to kiss people so don't expect my grandchildren to.

Agree with everything NotSpaghetti has said

I play ‘peeping’ games with young babies and toddlers on the train, as for touching, however I wouldn’t touch a strangers baby.
It is sad but the innocence of our childhood has been lost with the risk of stranger danger etc.
When I have grandchildren I couldn’t imagine not kissing their heads, I love the smell of downy baby hair.

Liz46.I would have commented to that rude mother how dangerous of her to let child out of her sight in these dangerous times !

Beswitched I also don't understand people who turn on the tap and then barely wriggle the tips of their fingers beneath the water. How much extra effort is it to wash your hands properly?

I saw a women in the "Ladies" very carefully wash just one hand and not the other one, which was surely much harder to do!

"woman" in the singular

We have quite small children and babies in our church. They all, babies included, have hands touched during the Peace. It is a very small church and everyone knows everyone else.

However, it did cross my mind this morning that, maybe, with the current coronavirus concern, we should be thinking of putting this on hold. I had this awful vision of whole congregations being infected in one go.

I would not normally touch a baby without asking.

People - or some of them - seem to be a lot more precious nowadays. On MN there are regularly posters saying they don’t want anyone, including GPs, touching or holding their baby for some weeks.
Such people must be so exhausting!

Glad to say my dd is much more relaxed. She recently sent photos of a whole lot of her dh’s family/extended family all taking turns to give her nearly 3 week old a lovely cuddle.

There are lots of germs and bugs which could be easily passed on to a baby id you touched his / her hands or fingers - which often go into their mouths. Unless you are a relative or friend and are holding the baby with parents permission - with clean hands - much better to just admire baby. I would never touch a baby without permission and would never kiss a baby even though I don't suffer from I am not a hygiene freak but am careful around my grandchildren and babies

I think if you want to hold a babys hand or generally touch them, well asking is polite, but beware those little ones have bacteria which dont agree with us, if there is a child with a cold, stay well away, or you will have cold which lasts for ages.Its not only our bacteria which can be passed on but theirs too. They may be cute but keep a distance.

No I’d never touch a strangers baby but I would and do interact with toddlers, when I’m out and about when they toddler up to speak or wave, always speak to them when in eg, drs surgery waiting in a queue whatever, I’m not going to ignore them or their parents,

I was on a bus the other day, and I saw a plastic badge attached to the hood of a pram which said. STOP, please do not touch me, your germs are to big for me. It was short and to the point.

I don't agree with the 'no touching' but given the cleanliness and germ obsession rampant amongst people with babies I never touch one. I will speak to them if they look to be wanting to engage.

Smiling and waving and interacting with other people’s babies is fine. It’s part of a baby learning what social interaction is about.
Touching isn’t - nothing to do with germs, it just crosses a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
In this respect babies are no different from older children or adults. Imagine the reaction if you went up and stroked the face of the average teenage boy

I'd rather not have strangers touch my child's face or hands. I had a grocery store manager repeatedly touch my face when I was pregnant..i had the baby and then he started stroking her cheek. I was fed up with trying to avoid him and realized I had been avoiding shopping, so last week I walked right up to him with my baby and engaged him in conversation..He then reached out both hands to touch her face and I grabbed his hands mid-reach and apologetically said "Wait, wait! Sorry, she's been ill recently. She needs to get her vaccines and has to be in good shape for them."

He was like "ohhh sorry, sorry." And then waved at her instead.

Other people have poked at her face and kissed her without asking. These are people who work in the local shops, not friends or family. It's bizarre.

I don't mind people engaging with my child or touching her feet or clothing.

But her hands go into her mouth. I'd rather no stranger touch her exposed skin. Sorry, but if you haven't washed your hands and are out in public, your hands aren't clean. I am her mom and I don't even touch her face without clean hands!!!

As OP said it never ceases to amaze me the number of women you see not washing their hands properly, hot water and soap, in public loos!
As for baby touching I do all the waving, chatting etc to babies but would never touch or kiss skin. I have cold sores and would never wish to pass it on (who gave it to me I wonder?). I would only kiss my own DGC on crown of the head and not at all if cold sore is active I wouldn’t make a fuss though-don’t want them to become neurotic!

No, I don’t like people touching little children or babies as they are not toys! I used to have to stop a relative from kissing my children on the lips and she used to have cold sores, yuk! I have never kisses them on the lips and I made sure everyone else didn’t do it either. I also don’t like to see people stroking their faces, they are not little kittens!!!! Keep off!

Yeuch
No desire to touch others children
And never wanted people touching mine

My daughter's Peruvian MIL, when visiting them in Australia, was amazed when told that she musn't approach, pat and stroke small children she came across. She is a very loving and friendly lady, and such behaviour is perfectly normal where she comes from.

Years ago people had different attitudes.

I did not make a fuss if strangers touched my child as I was present and the people meant well. However, I preferred them not to touch my child.

I do not touch people's children although, if I saw a child about to run into danger, I'd make an exception.

several people on here have said they so love little children's soft faces, smell of hair etc, that they just have to stroke/kiss.
think about it.
how is this so different from what women are now rejecting; a man who so loves the curve of a woman's body, the long glossy hair, that he just has to touch.
this is elevating the desires of the one who has the power, above the autonomy of the one who is done to; on the grounds that they mean no harm, have such a strong feeling, are really admiring the one done to.
it is objectifying another human being.
issues of autonomy and consent are relevant.
everyone deserves respect and it not being assumed that anyone has to tolerate another person who invades their space.
I am beginning to understand why some MNers have such problems with some women of our age.
also from another, v revealing thread recently.

Babies learn about their world at a fantastic rate. What they learn is in part from parental input. Total strangers, someone ill or unvaccinated...caution and alarms. A gentle stroke on a 10 month olds head from friends...teaches there is a wider circle than just mom and dad and I am becoming part of that circle. Are they breathing air that may be full of pathogens...you bet. Do siblings bring germs in. Yes...and immune systems begin to build for their entire life. Be judicious, but add a touch of common sense. Allow them to discover a world beyond heir cot. Such things as allowing a toddler to stray in a store on the other hand is not allowing discovery, it is child endangerment.