To wonder when old age starts

My mother is 94 next week and has many ailments but still runs her home with no help apart from gardener and window cleaner. She does her own washing, gets meals and keeps her house clean although gets frustrated that it takes her twice as long to do anything. I said well things slow down when you get old and she said what do you mean, old? She has arthritis, polymyalgia, varicose veins and weighs 5stone 2lbs. Not sure how long she will go on but I do admire her spirit.

As others have said age is just a number.

My Aunty used to play the piano "for the old dears" in a nearby Nursing Home when she was in her late eighties.

My Mum learnt to use a mobile phone when she was 90

I'm hoping I've inherited their genes!

Polnan sending you a big hug xxx

Old is just a number. I am 78 and fit and active thank goodness, love latest technology once its explained.I travel a lot, and my Daughter happily answered someone when asked if I am allright travelling at " my age" she said "my Mum is a Globetrotter" enough said.

My daughter is a nurse. She sees lots of people the same age as me and her dad (69 and 76). She comes home and tells us how much younger we seem than them (and not just because they are ill). I'll take that!

I remember being told by a geriatrician, when I was nursing, that a very small percentage of ‘old’ people are in care and/or are disabled but, those we met as patients coloured our perceptions of the elderly. The greater percentage of those deemed ‘old’ are living in their own homes and live fully independent lives.

Now I am in that category myself (I am 76), and am secretary of a large branch of an organisation for retired people, I can see for myself that this is true.

Most of the people in that group lead very busy lives volunteering, looking after grandchildren (and great grandchildren), and generally being extremely active. Quite a few of them are in their 80s and a number in their 90s.

So much depends on general health but, I believe attitude to life plays a large part.

I'm thinking that 70 is old and 80 is elderly. However that's not the same as being active and engaged.

Oh, just remembered, we have friends who are both about to have their sixtieth birthdays but they have taken early retirement and have more in common with people decades older. Their home reflects this even down to the antimacassars on the upright wooden armed chairs and settee. They have sheets and blankets rather than a duvet and one of the guest beds actually has a candlewick bedspread. They had a new bathroom last year, taking out the bath (sensible; it's a small room) and replacing it with a shower with a fold up seat for when they are older. They are lovely, kind people but it is like being in the presence of my grandparents, all of whom were elderly at fifty and old by sixty.

I'm in my late 60s so know I am old but am fit and active. With the pension age at 66 I don't think anyone under that should be considered old.
My DGDs think I am very, very old but, when I explained that the Queen's children are older than me, they had to agree that I am not that old yet. I feel I can't be really elderly when people old enough to be my parents are still alive.
The NHS geriatric medicine/care of the elderly is for over 75s so that could possibly be counted as when old age starts.

My FiL is an inspiration. He's 94 and although he's not allowed to drive anymore apart from the scooter, he has state of the art dental care teeth and hearing aids. He always looks smart..
When he needed a stair lift - he bought one online.

At the election, he made sure he got to the polling place with DMiL riding pillion.

I suppose he is getting more impatient and there are a lot of funerals when you get to their age but we have organised a family reunion this Summer and there are many birthdays and anniversaries.

I admit to early middle age. In reality, just how many 110 year olds are there?

My DH, aged 73, never thinks about old age and still works part-time and has loads of energy. However, my GS, aged 13, thinks my SON (his uncle) is old at 41. So it's all a matter of perspective. However I'm nearly 70 and feeling old now - looking in the mirror is depressing, some hair loss, sudden wrinkles and - the worst bit - nobody ever says how young I look any more. When I tell them my age they just nod their head.

My late in laws were old at 50. They never went anywhere unless essential for a family wedding and then for the shortest time possible. But to me their attitude was summed up in their words “That ‘ll see us out” whenever they bought anything for the house or even clothes for themselves. It’s a sentence DH and I use in jest just to remind us of the need to be positive. I’m sure that attitude is so important.

Evening All!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3pzK4TCAc8

OoRoo

I will be 69 next month. I consider myself 'older' not old or elderly. I have just retired. Bored though...going to join the gym. I bought a narrow boat to live on when I was 66. Love my life. Will keep on trucking....

Old age is all in the mind as far as I’m concerned! I’m 77, my health isn’t great, but I’m up for anything new, have been computer literate for years ( very important if you don’t want to miss out on life) and love fashion. You’ll never see me in a beige cardi! I took up oil painting around 10 years ago and regularly sell my pictures. Kneeling down is difficult since I had my knee replacement, but I still go to keep-fit once a week and keep the garden under control. My husband does the heavy work, but I do the planting.
My advice to anyone who is feeling their age is to buy a lap-top and go to the free computer classes at your local library. When I was over 60 I got City and Guilds level one in word processing and have found it so handy. My husband did the same. He is 72 and plays table tennis twice a week and got an award last year for being the top volunteer in the south-east. Positive mental attitude helps enormously!

My family has all died young of many and various conditions. Although I know I am not very old statistically (in my 60s) given that no one in my family has ever reached beyond late 70s I think I am in the last chunk of my life. Do I feel old? Of course not!
My husband comes from a family where 90+% of his relatives have lived into their late 90s or early 100s.
He is the same age as me but probably not nearly as "old"!

Just hope the children have inherited his family's healthy longevity!

It depends really how we define old. I am 68 and when mowing the lawn or trying to dig the garden, I definitely know I am old.

In some ways too, I realise that I am less willing to adopt new ideas. I feel no desire to use snapchat, whatsap, instagram etc.

I probably would have taken time to explore them if they had come into being when I was forty.

Old is not necessarily the same as infirm, but we live in a society that doesn't value age and experience, which is, I think, we all find it hard to admit that we are old.

I had to renew my passport recently Brigidsdaughter and had a couple of goes at taking and adding a photo that was acceptable (shadows, smile, eyes facing camera etc) .

When at last the photo was accepted I had a message from the passport office to ask if I was sure I wanted to use that one!

I object to being asked by younger people IF I have an email address, the assumption being elderly people are not techno savvy. I have, and use, all the technology available. Be it television, telephones and laptops. Just because we are older it does not mean we have lost our brain power.

It's not the years that make us old, it's our attitude to our years. And also ill health. The most rejuvenating things are keeping active and being interested in the things around us. Both those things improve our physical health and our mental well-being. And smiling. Never forget to smile, even when you don't feel like it!

I agree with you Rufus
People get obsessed. Just enjoy the changes that come.
Let a younger person do the heavy lifting and the running around.
Enjoy being less frantic.
Enjoy being retired and able to choose how to spend your time and who to spend it with.
All this talk of euthanasia pills. Seriously?
Why would you do that to the ones who come after.
I want to be around to see as much of those gorgeous grandchildren as I can. I would love to see them growing up.

Will the musician study music? Will the athlete be in the Olympics?. Will the idealist have saved the planet? Will the Highland dancer still be dancing?

So much to be grateful for.

The official term for ‘old’ is now ‘older’. So nobody will be old until they are the oldest. My mother-in-law is 103, and is,mI think, the oldest person she knows. I had a great-aunt who admitted to feeling ready to go on her way as she had out-lived all her friends and had not had children. So there’s one answer.

I have multiple disabilities including restricted mobility, poor balance, peripheral neuropathy with hand tremor, fatigue, and shortness of breath. I am now 70, but have had to give up my voluntary activities because of my physical difficulties. At coffee after church I am invited to sit with a lady with dementia who’s also in a wheelchair but who was once a very active church member. A lot of the friends I mad in retirement at local U3A interest groups have died - they were in their 80s and 90s, whilst the people my own age are in active outdoor groups while I had t restrict myself to sedentary groups. I am, to all tents and purposes, 15- 20 years or so older than my chronological age. I am lucky to be alive at all, since all my health issues are the result of radiotherapy and chemo for a lymphoma I had 47 years ago, and from which I am one of the most long-standing survivors. So every calendar year that I clock up feels like an achievement.

I simply feel the way I do - who knows whether that’s old or not. We form our ideas of what it means to be old when we are very young - my granny was ancient when I was little, but my first memories of her are from when she was 54. If you don’t think you are old and want to find out, ask a six-year-old - they will tell you. But if you like pâté or mayonnaise made with real raw egg yolks, don’t ask a dietitian or even your practice nurse - they will tell anybody over 75 that elderly people shouldn’t be eating such things any more.

I think we all know what we have to look forward to and ‘feeling young’ is what we do to deflect what we might feel about that. Having had a long time to consider this, I guess I’ve come to the point when I’m more accepting of my fate, and don’t mind looking it in the eye, though I'm finding it harder to feel convinced that there’s any point in having a bucket list, so am just prioritising enjoying each moment in my own way.

I just hope that saying these things explicitly won’t upset you all - I’m OK but the fear of hurting others remains present, and that isn’t my intention.

When it starts to really hurt!

My mum was very active in her church. One day they asked her if she'd like to attend a pensioners coffee morning. She asked what they'd like her to do to help. They said you are a pensioner so you are a guest. She was horrified to be lumped in with old people.