AIBU not to want to look after one year old while parents are abroad for 4 d.

Some times parents just have to accept that they have to miss things in life.
Yup.

When did all this malarkey become the new normal anyway? Yes, I get the occasional overnighter so the parents can party but mini holidays, really?

We travelled to Spain with my DD andSIL so they could attend a friends wedding. GS was only 4 months old. Worked well as we got to spend time with him and enjoy a weeks holiday. My DD paid for our flights and the villa.
This year we are having same grandson now 2 years whilst they travel to Italy for a wedding. Luckily GS in nursery for two of the days so at least we get some ‘down’ time. The new GS of 7 months will be staying with other realatives as I’m not sure I’d cope with them both. ??

Some times parents just have to accept that they have to miss things in life. Tell them to turn the wedding invitation down or just one of them go.

I think it’s much too big an ask too distressing for the child and exhausting for you. I wouldn’t do it.

Thank for the advice folks! I do think its a big ask, especially as he's not settled well in nursery, and seems to have caught every bug going whilst there. Will have a serious discussion about it this week. Its not Spain, but not far from it!

Or didnt go. Ive turned down wedding invites: still friends!

Also I just wouldnt want to push my luck. I was grateful for my babysitters and wouldnt want to put them off by asking them to bite off more than they could chew IYKWIM.

So if it was sonething that involved travel meaning a couple of days away we took them and tag-teamed. Keeping our evening babysitters sweet! Days on end is a BIG big ask.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all, Four days is a long time in a toddlers world, you need to get all the facts and then make up your mind, if you are willing to do this, they need to start in preparation for you to do this, you seem a lovely grandmother who likes to help out , good luck to you whatever you decide to do,

Once youre overseas you cant just change your plans and pick up the kid if they cant settle/get a fever/teethe

Not I just think its a big ask on BOTH the child AND the babysitter.

Fine to be overnight babysat if Im near by and its all fine. But I could go and "abort" the situation if child became ill or unsettled or a tooth acted up etc.

GagaJo ?

I don't think people are giving the child enough credit. He will know he isn't at home with his parents and he will adapt accordingly. I've done similar childminding for a wedding abroad and even a holiday. My GS was around 12 months and didn't seem to have any conception of the passing of time. You just muddle through at your own pace with your own rules. Yes, exhausting but very rewarding.

Habits can be person and location dependant. Our DGS still sleeps with his parents but is quite happy in his own bed when staying with us.
Other Grans have offered suggestions. Mine is to just do it.

notanan - I suppose neither of us wanted to leave our infants with anyone else in case they were miserable. 4 days must feel like forever for a toddler. I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the wedding anyway if I wasn’t 100% confident that my child/children were happy. It seemed a “no-brainer” at the time.

You have every right to ask if the co-sleeping and night-time breastfeeding will have stopped by then.
You can hardly offer the same, can you?!

If you're willing to help, then over the next few months they need to change their night-time practices in readiness.
Your grandson could stay for one night to see how you all get on.
Then a two night stay.
You and he need to be happy with him staying before they go out of the country.

You will also need the details of his GP and a letter from his parents authorising you to act on their behalf and seek medical attention if required.

Good luck whatever you decide x

NotSpagetti DH and I "tag teamed" at child free events too and it worked well. We both got to go to the do, dress up & see everyone, we just stayed nearby with DD and swapped in shifts.

But then as a mother, I would say no to the wedding all together for the above reason. I would worry that it would fall over a period of teething/growth spurt/sleep regression (those phases come quick n fast under 2) and it wouldnt be right to leave for 4 days if the child was having an unsettled phase, as children that size tend to do

Jane10 we co-slept way past 17 months! It may not stop till the baby wants to move on. Likewise the breastfeeding.

I would say “no” but suggest the two obvious alternatives...

1) You go with them as someone else suggested. A wedding is NOT usually 4 days long unless it’s cultural in which case it’s unlikely to be a “leave baby at home” event.
You can stay with the little one for the actual wedding and then leave.

OR

2) They do what we did with a wedding we didn’t want to miss that was child-free - one of us did the day, witnessed the ceremony, had the wedding breakfast and the other one did the evening. We had a hotel near the reception so the handover was easy. We went to the wedding because we loved them, it wasn’t for us. It worked perfectly well and everyone (especially our little one) was happy.

Good luck!

It would be a no from me. Under 2s go through so many phases and regressions and changes that its impossible to predict in advance how well he'll settle with you for that long at that time, so how can you commit to it in advance?

No I do t think you are being unreasonable, especially as they are going abroad .
They should decline invitation or take a child minder with them to care for the little one during the actual wedding .
It’s hard not to feel pressurised , if you really don’t feel you want to do this, tell them you are sorry but that it is too big an ask, and too much responsibility
Best wishes

I don’t think the parents should ask if they can take the child to the wedding. If the bride and groom wanted him there, he would have been invited.
Sets a precedent for others, and puts them in an awkward position.
Sounds like the baby’s mum and dad are looking forward to a few days off from parenting.

I would jump at the chance of four straight days and nights with my beloved grandson. I've had him overnight lots of times and love it. He's a total joy, even if he does come in bed with me. I adore waking up to his little face, although only slightly less so at 5am!

Jane10 where does it say that the co-sleeping will have stopped by then? Some families do it for years!

No, it was a figment of my imagination Urmstongran.