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Feeling scared of an uncertain future.

(19 Posts)
DaisyL Tue 17-Mar-20 13:50:37

I'm really cross with myself as I think I'm being very over anxious about everything at the moment. I'm usually a very positive person and it may be that because I live alone it is making things worse, but I am finding it difficult to keep cheerful and motivated at the moment. I seem to spend my time logging into news reports - each one more depressing than the last - or on to social media. I really want to snap out of this but not sure how!

Chestnut Tue 17-Mar-20 14:12:15

I think everyone is extremely anxious DaisyL but I guess we have to take control of our dark thoughts and try to focus elsewhere otherwise we will all go crazy. There are threads about how to pass the time in isolation which could help as there are lots of possible activities there. Just check the news once a day and keep off the social media. There is nothing but cv news and comments everywhere which will only fuel your anxiety.
My personal recommendation would be to take out an Ancestry subscription and start your family history. If you get involved in that it will take you over and keep you going for a year or two! If you submerge yourself in the stories of your ancestors you will leave the present time and go into the past (exactly what we need at the moment).

fourormore Tue 17-Mar-20 14:21:22

Daisy you are not alone - I'm normally upbeat and take knocks as they come along but I feel all this virus news is causing us all so much distress and anxiety.
Living alone must be hard - I'm lucky I still have DH. Up until yesterday we were determined to carry on as normally as possible but taking sensible precautions. There was no real trigger but suddenly yesterday afternoon I realised that this situation is not going to go away and if we can't beat them we'll join them. I felt really down.
My concerns are that we are a couple who help others - we are both now labelled as vulnerable - we did a 'shop' this morning and the shelves were bare. What we did notice though was that our fellow shoppers were mostly all our age and we were all so friendly towards each other. The consensus was to just use common sense.
Daytime TV is abysmal, rubbish programmes interrupted by ads for funeral plans or insurances so our families won't be out of pocket when we die! Is in any wonder we are depressed!
I wish I could offer more suggestions for you but I understand completely how you feel and it's not easy. Remember all your GN friends are here but avoid the 'virus' threads - not helpful when we're feeling down.
There is also a helpline called Silverline 0800 4 70 80 90 that you may find useful.
Take care and look after yourself flowersflowersflowers

Dottydots Tue 17-Mar-20 14:25:16

I am feeling exactly like you DaisyL and am getting quite stressed. What I'm thinking of doing, though, is updating my lounge. It's been needing a makeover for a long time but I've put off doing anything as I can't make up my mind about the new decor. I'm thinking now that I could at least strip the wallpaper off, which would give me something to do instead of sitting around and worrying. (But then I would be left with the problem of bare walls and still no inspiration as what to do next!)

Daisymae Tue 17-Mar-20 14:36:33

You are not alone, its very hard not to get completely engrossed as everything is so fluid. I think its important to have some down time and do something that you enjoy. I made a cake the other day and it was very therapeutic! (rather nice too). This afternoon I am going out to work in the garden. I think that we are likely to see a lot of it this summer. I am going to grown some salad type things and most people could do this on a window sill - rocket for instance. If we are home more we will be able to take good care of them. Get a stock of books in too, or down loads. I have also enrolled in a free short OU course, there are lots available. The key is to engage the mind.

annsixty Tue 17-Mar-20 14:38:46

I have lots of things I could and indeed should be doing but physically can’t just now.
I am scheduled for a total hip replacement next Friday and while I haven’t been told yet it is cancelled, at my age 82, I will be in isolation by then.
I can’t stand for anytime at all, I can’t carry things and by teatime I am in real pain.
I have loaded my kindle with books and I intend to read and relax.
I feel very sad for those very anxious, ring a friend or a family member, send e-mails. Start a new hobby, above all, keep yourself occupied.

ginny Tue 17-Mar-20 14:57:42

Anyone who says they are not more anxious than usual are probably telling porkie pies.
Don’t listen to the news continually, once a day will tell you all you need to know.
Keep up communications in ny way you can with friends and relatives. Read the threads on here with suggestions on how to keep busy and interested in life.
My family are using Wattsapp to post one happy thing each day. Maybe a photo, something that has made us smile, a joke or anecdote. Little things mean a lot.

NotTooOld Tue 17-Mar-20 15:11:07

I feel the same as you, OP. I wake up in the morning with a big black cloud hanging over my head and wonder how things have come to this - and so suddenly. Only a few weeks ago we were looking forward to a holiday in May and now it will be cancelled. I worry about my children and grandchildren, too. It must be very hard if you are on your own. At least I have my dear DH to keep me company and cheer me up. As others have said above, keeping busy is the best thing. I definitely concur with the suggestion of joining Ancestry. It's a wonderful tool and will keep you occupied for ages once you get going. They have tutorials online if you need help to get started but I did it by trial and error and am fairly proficient now. Give it a go. It'll grab your attention and you won't notice the time pass.

Calendargirl Tue 17-Mar-20 15:15:07

I have spent some time sorting kitchen drawers and cupboards, re-arranging the cutlery drawer, and especially the ‘messy’ drawer, which contains all essential boring stuff like batteries, string, rubber bands, fuses, tape measures, etc. Have sorted some into old clean jars so that the drawer is not messy anymore. Feel quite virtuous, and am now going to read my book.

AGAA4 Tue 17-Mar-20 15:23:06

I live alone too and I am trying to keep upbeat but it does take a toll on your well-being.
Having a plan each day of what you will do helps to fill the hours and be more productive. I will go for an hour's walk each day. Read with a coffee. Do that days chores and spend time here.

M0nica Tue 17-Mar-20 15:36:29

I am not giving myself time to endlessly follow the news, why? just the same old same old all the time.

Today I did a BIG supermarket shop and I am now doing the weekly cleaning, a bit more throughly than usual and with me I have a pad and pen and I am listing everything in every room that needs doing, plus any ideas that come into my head, plus projects I almost meant to do. Tomorrow this will produce a list of things to do and two days to get together any materials etc I need.

Already the list is so long, I am not sure 3 months solitude will be enough.

Nobody knows what is happeneing the media cannot enlighten us, why waste time worrying where you do not know what you are worrying about. Switch off all news, allow yourself 5 minutes three times a day after meals and then get that list of things to do and stock up.

Sussexborn Tue 17-Mar-20 16:18:38

Does feel as if I am in a surreal alternative world. We had been looking at various holidays but luckily hadn’t got round to booking anything though after 2019 I really needed a break. Determined not to dwell on the negatives and use the time to have a good declutter and spring clean. I started going from one news thread to the other but have stopped that now as so much of it is guess work and supposition presented often as facts.

Luckygirl Tue 17-Mar-20 16:38:10

It all feels like a SF novel.

I am finding it hard, as living alone is new for me; I had hoped that it would be tempered by being out and about with family and friends - but it is not to be.

Maggymay Tue 17-Mar-20 16:55:25

I am feeling very anxious ,but determined to keep busy.
Tomorrow I am going to start on tidying up the garden and DH is decorating our bedroom.

eazybee Tue 17-Mar-20 18:18:44

The future always has been uncertain.
Stop logging onto news reports and do something productive.

sodapop Tue 17-Mar-20 19:02:21

We are overwhelmed with information and discussion DaisyL and it can soon have its effect especially if you are prone to anxiety. Allow yourself one news programme per day and set aside a short time for your worries then put them away until the next day. Set yourself tasks to do and small treats when you have completed them. You are not alone in feeling anxious and stressed.

Chestnut Tue 17-Mar-20 23:18:06

I'm looking forward to the day I turn up at the doctor's surgery for my coronavirus vaccination!

grannyactivist Tue 17-Mar-20 23:32:42

Chestnut , love the positivity. smile

Lavazza1st Tue 17-Mar-20 23:41:57

@eazybee yes it has, I totally agree.

The proprietor of our corner shop is Hindu and he said he is not worried about Coronavirus because he believes " it is written" in the Holy book how long your life is. This reminded me of the bible and how it says that our days are already numbered before we were born. Maybe not everyone believes that, but I can't help thinking that the happiest people seem to be those with faith.

Living in these uncertain times can encourage us to live in the now, in the RIGHT NOW and I've actually seen some very happy people walking around our village. I think if you're healthy today and can do stuff, make hay while the sun shines. sunshine I never have enough time normally to do all the DIY, crafts, gardening etc that I want to so am using this quieter time to do those things.