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Help me settle a stupid argument with my niece

(13 Posts)
louthomson Sat 21-Mar-20 19:08:41

Not so much an AIBU as an ISGBU...

My niece has just turned 21 and obviously knows everything now!

I was talking the other day about how the things my parents will miss now that they're self-isolating, and she said: "Well, surely they'll just do what they do normally?"

Seems like she thinks everyone over 60 must spend their time reading the newspaper or gardening - which I'm really surprised by given that her GPs are in their 70s with an active social life!

Can you help me make her understand that just because someone's a bit older than her parents, it doesn't mean life stops?! (At least not until C19).

Sending thoughts to all who are finding things difficult at the moment xx

louthomson Sat 21-Mar-20 19:43:04


Pikachu Sat 21-Mar-20 19:44:14

I wouldn’t bother- just ignore her.

SalsaQueen Sat 21-Mar-20 19:48:49

Some of us of 60 and over still work (I've got just over 5 years to work, when I'll then be 66). I'm already missing:

Going to te pub
watching a live band play on Saturday evenings
Cinema occasionally
going to a cafe
having a meal in a restaurant
doind my Zumba class

At 21, she's just a kid

Evie64 Sat 21-Mar-20 19:54:40

Silly girl. The thing is, you don't really understand what it's like to be an older person until you are one yourself. I remember when I was 21 thinking anyone over 35 was really old! I was also a silly girl back then. Now I'm just as silly and proud of it wink I've been using face time to keep in contact with friends and family, and going for a walk along the river most evenings. Thank god for Whats App, that's what I say!

M0nica Sat 21-Mar-20 20:20:25

louthomson How will this go down with her?

DH, a maritime engineer is still working at 77. He is an expert in the towage of large lumps of engineering at sea. Currently he is involved in the transportation and towage of wind turbines and their supports. He is one of a team, none of whom is under 70 working with the team from the company who is building and operating the wind turbines, This team are almost all engineers in their 30s. The younger engineers chose to employ the team DH is part of because they bring to the job a depth of experience and knowledge that cannot be matched by younger engineers. Until the recent shutdown caused by Corvid-19, DH regularly flew to Denmark and Germany for meetings, hired cars and found his own way round these countries between airport and meeting venue.

I have a friend working as a Samaritan at a similar age. I represent a local environmental society on the Local Liaison Committee of my local power station. We also commute regularly between a house in France and our main home in England. Until recently I edited a learned journal and I am on the committee of our county archaelogical society and still undertake academic research.

We are not exceptional, I do not know any contemporary who doesn't have a raft of outside interests

Grammaretto Sat 21-Mar-20 21:06:41

Why is the cut off point 70?
Why was this chosen?
Another thing troubling me is why teachers are suddenly demoted to being childminders. In: next week some schools will stay open so DC whose patents are key workers can be looked after.
You ANBU to think your young niece is a fool.
I wonder how long any of us can last in solitary confinement.

curvygran Sat 21-Mar-20 21:16:55

Maybe this might help her to understand

Tangerine Sat 21-Mar-20 21:25:46

Your niece will learn. I can remember thinking and saying silly things, although not precisely this, when I was 21.

I was mature in many ways but, at 21, you don't know everything.

Do we ever?

I expect some of us say and think silly things until we're 6 feet under.

louthomson Sun 22-Mar-20 16:43:22

Thanks all! Just so that I don't leave everyone thinking she's completely oblivious, she wasn't saying that young people shouldn't be social distancing etc. - just that she thought it would be easier for those who are older because they don't do as much outside the home! These responses will really help :-)

M0nica Mon 23-Mar-20 10:32:38

Grammmaretto I woild imagine that 70 was chosen because a cut off point had to be placed somewhere. I would imagine those making these decisions had a graph showing the decline in the immune system against age and decided that when the population of a certain age had an immune system that was on average only 75% efficient or some such figure, that was the cut offpoint.

Calendargirl Mon 23-Mar-20 10:46:40

We are in our late 60’s, and I like to think pretty spry compared to some. Normally the two GC come for tea the days DIL works, she works for the NHS, DS in food retail management.
They are still at school the days she is working, but not coming to us for meals as mum and dad both mixing with the public, and just no need.
My point being, I think it will open our son’s eyes, as he thinks we just potter about all day, and might make him think how some of my time is spent shopping and cooking wholesome meals for his children, as I think we GP’s are often taken for granted.

NannyJan53 Mon 23-Mar-20 11:05:36

I am 66 and retired almost 3 years now. I am out almost everyday.

Walking groups
Lunch/coffee with friends
U3A meetings and groups
Camping weekends
That is not including housework and gardening, which is fitted in somehow.
The list goes on smile

So you can tell your Niece, no we cannot carry on doing what we have been doing....sadly