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AIBU

Neighbour wanting to access my property

(17 Posts)
Dorset Sat 28-Mar-20 22:29:39

Eloethan, he didn’t like it at all when my husband saw him whilst getting a daily paper (I know, we are not going out anymore even for a paper), he told my husband that I had agreed to it and what’s changed, my dh said the death toll was rising making us more anxious. We have had a good relationship but do find, they especially him, expect us to allow them full entitlement to come over which is why he has left one fence panel loose to slide up allowing him access. He bought his house 15 years ago and the shed and conservatory were already butted up to my the fence. The glass on the conservatory rises to a point that would be difficult to get onto (one side) I admit. This is not an ordinary cleaner it is a specialised company that clean the glass inside and out and all the plastic decorative parts. As it is his guttering runs along the party wall which was never big enough to hold water, spilling and drenching into the side part of my garden so I put a butt in which helps me now. I am hoping to move when all this is over as 6 years has really made me feel trapped with this type of fence/shed/guttering/conservatory being all such a hindrance. Sorry to go on especially in such terrible frightening times, it seems so trivial. However I do so appreciate your thoughts and comments.

Eloethan Sat 28-Mar-20 15:51:41

I would imagine your neighbour realises you are not being awkward but that you have reflected on the issue and, for a number of valid reasons, don't feel comfortable allowing access at this particular time. If you were being difficult, presumably you would have said no at the outset.

If you have an otherwise good relationship with your neighbour, I would hope he would understand your situation and not take umbrage.

Some of the posts on here seem unnecessarily combative to me. It is, in my opinion, not helpful to ramp it up by raising all sorts of other side issues that presumably the OP was not unduly concerned about.

Dorset How did your neighbour respond to your refusal - was he annoyed.? If he wasn't, then just forget about it.
If he was, ditto. It is your house and your garden and you had every right to make the decision you did.

Callistemon Sat 28-Mar-20 15:28:29

I am trying to visualise this.
If one side of his conservatory is nearly up against your boundary it's not going to matter if the windows on that particular side are dirty anyway, as he won't see much through them, except your fence.

So there is no need whatsoever to come on to your property.

Floradora9 Sat 28-Mar-20 15:20:40

Window cleaners are among the people allowed to keep working. Do not let them in your house though that id a different story.

FlexibleFriend Sat 28-Mar-20 15:04:57

Personally I think he should have had the conservatory built in a way that it could be cleaned from his property rather than expect others to accommodate him when it needs cleaning. We had ours built with plain brick wall on the side adjoining the neighbours garden for that very reason.

Callistemon Sat 28-Mar-20 14:50:40

I agree with the other posters.
No this is not at all essential.

3nanny6 Sat 28-Mar-20 14:45:52

He should not be bothering you with coming in and out of your garden, why can't he do something about his shed roof and get it moved further away from your fence.

As far as his conservatory is concerned that is his problem and tell them not to look for access from your garden as you do not want anyone out there. Anyway are conservatory cleaners essential workers? I do not think they are so ask him why they are still working considering the stay home rules at the moment.

Mapleleaf Sat 28-Mar-20 14:43:54

I can't see how the work this company do can be classed as "essential" work, to be honest. At least, not for the cleaning of general conservatories right now. I wouldn't be surprised if they contact your neighbour to postpone coming.
You are not being at all unreasonable. Your health and well being has to prioritise over a cleaned conservatory. 🙂

Dorset Sat 28-Mar-20 14:35:06

Thank you everyone, as your all so right and reading my thoughts. We are both isolating as Boris suggested for at least the next three weeks, my daughter is getting our shopping and we are, like everyone I am sure, extremely worried especially with the death toll rising each day. For the life of me why would this Company come out to do this job is beyond me, I suppose they feel they won’t catch or carry it.

BlueBelle Sat 28-Mar-20 12:51:25

Stick to your guns it’s not vital work he shouldn’t be having anyone doing cleaning it’s not a burst pipe or gas leak it’s not necessary

Sussexborn Sat 28-Mar-20 12:49:36

You are absolutely entitled to say no in this instance. He will have to wait like the rest of the world is doing. If he takes exception then he’ll lose out in the future.

Alishka Sat 28-Mar-20 12:49:32

He doesn't come, for the birds nest alone. Tell him he can come back in the winter. Sorted.

Feelingmyage55 Sat 28-Mar-20 12:48:13

You are not allowed to let anyone into your house just now so you can tell him that you are sticking to the rules and that when things go back to normal he can ask again.

Urmstongran Sat 28-Mar-20 12:47:32

Don’t even think of them walking through your house (putting you at risk) to save a birds nest! You did the right thing in the end, that’s the main thing. Can’t your neighbour reschedule his jet washing?

I think the difficulty is in putting ourselves first. We are mostly polite and accommodating as a society. Saying ‘no, I’d rather you didn’t right now’ is perhaps a sentence we all need to practice!

Smileless2012 Sat 28-Mar-20 12:45:18

You've done the right thing Dorset and TBH I'm surprised that this cleaning company is still operating.

rosenoir Sat 28-Mar-20 12:43:46

No need to feel guilty about trying to keep yourselves safe, it is not vital he has the work done.

There is nothing wrong in that you said yes originally, you were being helpful, and then thought it through and came to a sensible decision.

Dorset Sat 28-Mar-20 12:34:54

I am normally ok when my immediate neighbour has to come over my garden (by lifting one of his fence panels) to reach his shed roof as its butted up against his/my fence always asking me first. This does not happen often but it happened two weeks ago. Now he is telling us his conservatory cleaners are coming next week and they will need to clean one side by coming over to my garden as it is near impossible to do it from his side. These are industrial once a year cleaners that do the glass, plastics the full works. I said yes even though the fence he is lifting has a medium bush on my side against it that has a birds nest in. I then said yesterday I didn’t want him disturbing the birds nest so tell the builders to knock and walk through my house. I haven’t slept all night as I am so worried about this Coronavirus and am isolating due to Asthma and DH has diabetes so have told him I have changed my mind due to my isolation and concerns that this virus is escalating at an alarming rate and don’t want anybody in my house or garden. Plus I have a 6 month old puppy that is just settling down and don’t want her unnerved. Aibu as I feel so guilty, more that I should have said no from the start until this virus has gone. I live in a terraced cottage, he lives in a semi.