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AIBU partner puts me at risk of Covid19

(12 Posts)
Eloethan Wed 01-Apr-20 00:53:59

This from yesterday's Metro:

"According to the government’s website: ‘Work carried out in people’s homes, for example by tradespeople carrying out repairs and maintenance, can continue, provided that the trades-person is well and has no symptoms.’ This would include window cleaners and gardeners, working alone and on the outside of a property. Those required to work in pairs should ensure they maintain a two-meter distance where possible, but otherwise, it is still possible for window cleaners and gardeners to work during a lockdown.

I can't see the problem with gardeners and similar workers continuing because they are working outside and can keep their distance. Surely it is better for them and everybody else that those who can, and who are not in direct contact with other people, should be able to carry on working and earning?

ElaineI Tue 31-Mar-20 23:37:17

You are meant to be reducing visits to the shops and gardeners are non essential in this Covid-19 outbreak so he should not be working or getting her small amount of groceries several times! Good grief they are stopping smears, breast mammograms and other screening which can detect cancer so what does he think he is doing!!!
He is not only putting you at risk but anyone else in the shops that he goes near! This is how the virus is spreading for goodness sake!
She will not have been tested if she is at home and she should be self isolating which means seeing no one!!! How selfish and ignorant can people be! It's not like the rules are hidden - they are in your face all the time!!!

M0nica Tue 31-Mar-20 22:03:15

I am one who usually likes to push the boundaries and test the rules, but in this case I am not prepared to take real risks with my life so I am obeying them meticulously.

gransky Tue 31-Mar-20 21:15:23

Monica, thank you. He does not have contact with her as he leaves things on the step. She does not pay him as far as I know. I think many partnerships are finding that one person follows rules whilst the other is much less careful. Hard to believe that arrogance allows some people to believe they are special enough to be allowed to bend the rules.

M0nica Tue 31-Mar-20 20:58:15

If he buys things for her, he must have no contact with her when he delivers them. Put them on the doorstep then move well away while she comes to the door to collect them. How does she pay him. Is it by BACS or cash?

Frankly, if you are in the 'shielded' category, you would have had a letter or email about that, not text, then he is putting your life at risk. In fact the same applies no matter how vulnerable you are.

I would classify this as domestic abuse. You may need to re-evaluate your relationship.

gransky Tue 31-Mar-20 20:43:42

Elegran. I ordered sweets and nuts for her as requested. Partner went to the supermarket anyway for a couple of things after dropping items to her. Why? I don't know as there is enough here - maybe because he wanted to. I am a vulnerable person and am very lucky to get a delivery.

Iam64 Tue 31-Mar-20 20:32:37

this doesn't make any sense to me. Most gardeners are no longer working because it isn't a key role. Our neighbour is in the vulnerable category, her Gardner came the other day but they had no contact. She put his wage in an envelope on her step.

Elegran Tue 31-Mar-20 20:11:05

If you ordered the things on your supermarket delivery on Friday, how come he went to the supermarket on Saturdayto buy them? I don't follow the sequence of events here.

You are very lucky if you get stuff delivered weekly from the supermarket. Most of us can't even get one delivery at the moment.

gransky Tue 31-Mar-20 19:57:57

paddyanne. He is not a carer, he is a gardener. He works alone so visits weekly only to tend the garden. I should have said allowed worker as he understands gardeners are able to continue if social distancing is followed.
valerief. He told me her daughter is in hospital with Covid19 and that the mother has tested positive. She is self-isolating but has not got other help even though we have a very good support system in the area. I believe at the moment he is dropping off the items. No safety guidelines followed as "he will not be told what to do".

ValerieF Tue 31-Mar-20 19:42:50

I am not getting my head round this. His client (what kind of client? ) Works alone? (how many carers work solely alone?) has tested positive for Covid19? How? where was the test done? Was it because her daughter has been tested in hospital? IF she has been tested and IF she is positive and needing a carer then other plans need to be implemented. If she is fit enough to see to herself, the most your husband should be doing is dropping 'essentials' off. Doesn't make sense why he would even entertain going round with non essential items let alone lying to you about things he has put on the shopping list!

paddyanne Tue 31-Mar-20 19:07:16

He's a carer..that means his clients need to be cared for.Mental health is important during this horrible time and the poor woman must be distraught at her daughter being in hospital.Contact with her usual carer will be so important to her .I can only assume he's following safety guidelines and that he isn't coming home wearing the same clothes and showers before he sees you .I think he is a very good man who wont let his clients down in their time of need and you'll need to find a way to compromise until the situation changes

gransky Tue 31-Mar-20 18:39:31

This a new one on me. My partner of 8 years ,who lives with me, is a key worker who works alone. One of his clients has tested positive for Covid19. as as her daughter who is in hospital. On Friday asked him by text to get a pack of sweets and nuts for her and I ordered them on my supermarket delivery so he would not need to visit the s'market. He went straight round to her house on Sat eve whilst I was cooking supper and went to the s'market on way home missing supper. Today he went to s'market again and bought a couple more things for her which he went dropped off at her house. I asked him if he had done that as I saw some items on the bill that did not come home and he lied to me. I am a vulnerable person with an underlying condition and I have been isolated for a fortnight today. I am unclear as to why he repeats the shopping when I have asked him not to go so often and I have delivery weekly. I have offered to get in touch with her local helper so she can have food delivered but he declined this. We are in difficult times so I want to keep the peace but am interested to know your thoughts on this, ladies.