AIBU

* Ticking bird Exactly the same attitude of neighbours snitching on families hiding Jews during The Holocaust. Civic duty my a**

No it is not at all comparable! The people hiding Jews in the war were trying to save lives and the people telling the authorities were destroying lives. The people complaining about people flouting social distancing are also trying to save lives too while the people flouting the rules are the ones putting lives at risk!

sussexborn I agree, of course other people's behaviour affects us all. The more people socialise, the more the virus will spread, the more people will die and the more people will be admitted to hospital, and they are putting the life's of front line workers at risk. The virus is very contagious and can be passed on without the person even knowing they have it. If your neighbour works in a supermarket and is socialising outside her household she is putting everyone who works or shops in that supermarket at risk. It's selfish and thoughtless.
But we can only be responsible for our own actions.

Are you just repeating your post, Chickenfeet? I answered you above - why not respond to that instead of just posting the same thing again?

Hear all, see all, say nothing. We just never know when we might need our neighbour's help one day.

So hear no evil see no evil , as long as you follow the lockdown rule yourself,let your neighbors have parties,happy families , friends gatherings,let them passed the virus around, it is not your business , keep your nose clean, only the medical staff risk their lives,and the burdens for the NHS .What is the point to have the isolation and not everybody followed.

Why not go the whole hog and get a drone over the neighbourhood ….just think how many infractions you could report …..make it your life's work ……..if it makes YOU feel better ……...or you could just live your own life and let them get on with it. AS YET this country is a 'democracy'...not for much longer

I think being less judgemental goes both ways.
Using words like 'snitch' telling people to get a life is fairly judgmental.

Some people have valid reasons to be worried about blatant ignoring of social distance rules, just as some have valid reasons to adapt the rules to their particular circumstances.

So hear no evil,see no evil, as long as you follow the lockdown rule yourself, let your neighbor have parties , happy gathering with friends n families , if they passed the virus around only the medical staff take the risks and the burdens for NHS , so what the point to have all the isolation for not every body followed.

I really don't think that anyone is saying this, though. Parties and 'happy gatherings' (as opposed to glum ones - are they ok?) are clearly wrong - not just because they are 'against the rules' but because they are very likely to pass on the virus (if someone there is infectious).

A couple taking a car to the shops and then going into separate shops is a completely different matter, which is the point that a lot of us are trying to make, although it's not easy to convince some posters. Not only is that 'allowed', but it's not dangerous. It is no different from one person going twice, it's probably safer than walking (so long as they don't have an accident), and it halves the number of trips they need to make if they buy twice as much in one trip. What about all the people driving to click and collect? Should they be reported too?

Partying (or any large gatherings) is clearly against the spirit of lockdown, and would be unwise even if we weren't living under these rather confusing rules. How others are managing their shopping, why they choose to stay on or go out for exercise outings, or what sort of exercise they choose to take, on the other hand, are just not the same thing, and do not need to be reported, as, ultimately, they are reliant on judgement, and require a level of understanding of personal circumstances that others simply do not have.

Nobody is arguing for a completely laissez faire approach to this - just saying that the rather gleeful way that some people are willing to point the finger is unedifying and not as 'helpful' as they often pretend.

Distancing has become such a part of my life it worries me when I see people on the television not doing it! I think I'm going to find it practically impossible to go back to the double cheek kissing (which I never liked that much anyway. I mean, why should perfect strangers think they can lunge at you not once, not twice but three times on introduction!?) As far as my neighbours are concerned they are all following the guidelines absolutely! I don't think I could bring myself to report them if they didn't. I mean, who to? Walking is no longer a joy sadly, I would gladly report some of the people who cannot grasp the simple concept of the six foot gap. But I content myself with retreating into the bushes or the road. My local supermarket is very careful to make sure we are all waiting patiently the required distance apart but once inside I find I have to keep telling the shelf stackers to move. They have their job to do, I know, but what is the point in waiting an hour outside and then being breathed on when inside?

Laurensnan, this must be awful for your daughter and you. I am so sorry you are all going through this. It is incredibly bad timing and explains most poignantly why we should be less judgmental. x

My neighbour is carrying on as if nothing has happened, visitors still coming as normal. It’s very annoying when the rest of us in the street are observing the current rules.
What can we do you can’t cure stupid.

My daughter was in the process of getting help for her husband just as lockdown happened. He has developed a mental illness and has episodes
of becomess paranoid (walking the streets, convinced things are happening that aren't and emotionally abusing her or threatening to kill himself etc). The police and GP were involved and waiting for an 'episode' to get bad enough to section him. Social services offered my daughter support (and they have been brilliant during lockdown phoning to check she's ok, they are not concerned at all about the kids though, he is a great dad). He was about to get seen by psychiatric services for an assessment April 30th and had also agreed to move out for a while while until he got treatment. Then lockdown happened and all appointments were cancelled, nor could he move out. He is a keyworker and so is my husband so I can't have my daughter and grandkids to stay (unless they needed a place of safety if he got worse, although he is a great dad and kids just accept daddy is not well at the moment, it's my daughter who has the strain of it all) as we may all infect each other as each family is not fully isolated. We have side access to our garden and my daughter lives 3 minutes walk away).When ever she finds he is getting bad she comes up and stays in our garden, so the kids don't see him like it. We keep our distance from each other but she can chat and talk things through, kids play and I feel at ease with being able to make sure she's ok. She stayed in the garden 6 hours the other day while phoning her husband regularly until he was calmer (thankfully beautiful weather) She is allowed to do this as part of the terms of lockdown re domestic abuse. I told my close neighbors the situation so they understand. But I fear others curtain twitching and judging us. We are doing the best we can. My daughter under the rules can stay for up to 2 days if domestic troubles arise but we choose as a family to only use the garden. I worry about being judged even though we are not breaking any guidelines and are even not doing all we are 'allowed' to do in the circumstances. I fear someone will report us, even though the police are fine with it. I just don't want to ever feel someone decides to do it. I am a law abiding person, I only leave my house for shopping, not even for exercise. And yet I feel I could be judged by neighbors who don't know how it is. So please don't assume everyone is breaking a rule. Some families have no choice. She has phoned to say she is on her way this afternoon as her husband is starting to get paranoid again. After an episode he just goes into a depression and doesn't talk for days, so she'll be fine at home again then. I'm now getting anxious about neighbors hearing us outside ( try keeping a 9 yr old and 6 yr old quiet!) and judging us. It's awful. My grandchildren also need to see us for their mental health. They were in and out of our house every day and now they are isolated from school and friends, daddy isn't well, mummy is sad, and they can't come to nanny and grandad everyday. They need this escape too from the life they have at the moment. We are their security. Domestic abuse is in families, please understand that some families are dealing with this in the best way they can. Ps my son in law is the most lovliest man but this psychotic illness is destroying him and my daughter. I can only hope that once lock down is over he will get the help he needs and will be ok again.
Sorry for the long post but it's the only time I've shared how I'm feeling with anyone.

Thanks, Tangerine, ValerieF and others.
By the way, eazybee, I understand what it's like shopping with young children, 3 of them actually and it's no joke. However, the woman in question appeared to have all the time in the world as I noticed her having a conversation with someone further up the aisle as I stood in the queue. Her kids were about 10 or 12 and happily absorbed in their mobile phones. I was the one who was stressed!
But there again, being stressed and realising I had forgotten a number of items I guess my tolerance levels were at an all time low. I am still worried, though.
But the point I was trying to make is that although the woman was ignoring social distancing rules despite all the signs and reminders in the store, I was hardly going to report her to the store manager or anyone else for that matter. I wouldn't sink to such depths.

It’s my civic duty Exactly the same attitude of neighbours snitching on families hiding Jews during The Holocaust. Civic duty my a***.

So hear no evil,see no evil, as long as you follow the lockdown rule yourself, let your neighbor have parties , happy gathering with friends n families , if they passed the virus around only the medical staff take the risks and the burdens for NHS , so what the point to have all the isolation for not every body followed.

*Hetty58

Doodledog

'they don't suggest that the motive for wanting to report people is genuinely for the public good'

Don't you realise that these morons could be spreading the virus everywhere they go. People are most infectious before they get any symptoms. They could potentially kill many people. We therefore have a duty to report them.*

Hetty, with respect, I think that your response illustrates my point perfectly. Which morons do we have a duty to report? The ones doing X? What is X? Do we report everyone, just in case X is illegal? Or the ones seeing their families? Through a window? From the car? (If this is confusing, Hetty’s reply quoted above is to my post at the bottom of page 1 of this thread).

Not everyone is a moron. People are making judgements based on their own circumstances and knowledge of their own situation, and you may or may not be fully aware of the details, in my opinion rightly.

Yes, there are circumstances in which people are breaking the rules, probably deliberately and from a sense of entitlement. Arguably that underpins most crime, and crime has never been eradicated.

On the whole, however, people have been remarkably compliant, and whilst there will have been mistakes or errors of judgement, most of us are doing our best in an unprecedented situation. I find that working from this assumption, as opposed to assuming that others are morons who must be reported, is better for my peace of mind, as I don’t want to live in a society in which I have to be constantly watching my back in case a neighbour sticks a knife in it.

There are always people who are more concerned with other peoples business than their own. Unless someone is commiting a criminal offence they would be best advised to keep their noses out.

boats Have to agree, the social distancing in stores is a farce. Stand outside in a queue 2 mtrs apart and then when when allowed into the enclosed atmosphere it is a free for all. I have written to my MP voicing this concern but only received the standard list of rules on social distancing as a reply. I too experienced an idiot shopper. Male, wearing protective gloves wheeling trolley about arrives at my side and bends over to reach an item in front of me. Couldn't help but say he would be better stuffing his gloves in his mouth. I was furious. One store Tesco, has adopted one way systems to prevent face to face contact and to allow a 2 mtr gap throughout the store, why can't others?

Boats: Further to my previous message. I do not condone people visiting their relatives but neither can I condone spying and reporting. Sorry, there has to be another way.

Interested to know if you have thought of “another way” as yet?

Yet another (unneccessarily) inflammatory word - "sneak" this time.
For the record, I have never reported anyone for not social distancing. I have - in Bluenose's original post - stated that it's futile.
My point is why is the horrible language and name-calling, like "spy", "snitch" and "sneak" necessary when others are just expressing their disapproval of their neighbour's actions?

Pat123 What an unkind response. Perhaps because she is safe-guarding her own health and is considering her options to do so.

If you can't complain to their face why be a sneak or a snitch???

My 74 year old, self-isolating friend with health issues has new neighbours, a young couple and 4 year old and and live-in godmother. The smell of cannabis is now wafting through her cottage wall. She's insightful enough to realise that coping methods in these times takes many forms. Does she speak to them, does she ring the police/Crimestoppers or does she "sit it out" ?

I absolutely agree. Because unless it affects you and puts you in danger, does it matter. I think it's scary enough for all key workers. I saw a post about two Sainsburys workers hugging surely they should keep their distance? But they work together and maybe they needed a hug. That poor NHS worker who got the note put on her car neighbours believing she was breaking the rules. People should stop judging and do something more constructive like Major Tom. My cousin recently went to see a new baby in her family. But before those who judge shriek irresponsible she stood and looked through the window.

eazybee
What's wrong with courtesy
Any thing wrong in adopting this? aren't we all in a rush to get out of the way of others in this present world wide situation ? I have yet to meet a person who refuses when asked ' do you mind if etc ' when finding they are standing in the way of something out of my reach without leaning over them. What does this teach our children?