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AIBU

AIBU to want our agressive dog PTS?

(99 Posts)
sazz1 Wed 17-Jun-20 11:12:32

We have 2 dogs one is a cockapoo. She was fine until 9 months then slowly started becoming more and more agressive. She actually bit one of my daughter's friends when she tried to touch her. We spent hundreds on a behaviour specialist but they were doubtful that it would improve, and advised to rehome.
It's gone from growling to actively running at you snarling and barking when you enter the room. The only person she's ok with is my OH he worships her. Even him, if he tells her to do something she will growl at him. She is fine when we're out great with strangers, great at the groomer.
First thing in the morning she is really loving to me but after 5 minutes I can't touch her as she would bite me. It's so unpredictable but I don't feel safe walking around the house most of the time. It's guarding behaviour and the outbursts are escalating but OH loves her so much. He's even had to get out of bed several times to put her out when I'm trying to get my phone from the lounge or other things I need. She has bitten my shoes while I'm wearing them several times but not me or OH yet. But she's the love of OHs life. My other dog has started trying to defend my by standing between me and the dog and barking at her. It's as if she knows how agressive the cockapoo is and wants to protect me. She's agressive to my son and daughter too if they stay more than a few hours but friendly when they first arrive. It's a nightmare.

BlueBelle Wed 17-Jun-20 20:01:07

I hate these designer dogs I wish people would stop buying them they can be bred with the bad points of both breeds I feel sorry for the dog it’s been made like this it’s obviously scared or in pain or just got the bad traits of its two breeds none of it it’s fault Your Husband needs to find an organisation that gives agressive dogs a chance
It needs to go from your house and if your husband won’t part with it he will need to go with it

Iam64 Wed 17-Jun-20 20:17:32

It isn't true that all cockapoos are easy to train and even tempered. It isn't the best cross and if you get a complex cockapoo, you need to commit to working closely with behaviourist or good trainer over the long term. Even then, you may not help the dog become a calm, reliable companion.

Cocker rage has largely been bred out of cocker spaniels, because good breeders only breed from dogs who have been health checked as well as from breed lines with good temperament.
Cockapoos look like Disney designed them, they're usually very physically attractive little dogs. Sadly, they are all to often bred by money making puppy farms, or hobby home breeders whose only motive is to make £1500-£2500 per puppy. Bitches have two litters a year in dreadful conditions. Little wonder that so many of these dogs have the kind of behavioural problems you describe. 9months is the age many of them manifest.
I don't understand why a behaviourist would recommend re-home for an aggressive dog. No reputable breed specific charity would re-home a cockerpoo who has bitten. Especially one showing the problems you describe OP.
Your husband is being irresponsible. I'd suggest you go to see your vet together, give the vet an honest description of the dogs behaviour and take advice from the vet.
There are so many dogs in the world, I don't wish to sound harsh but, we don't need unstable aggressive dogs.

Casdon Wed 17-Jun-20 20:32:14

I was going to say the same Iam64, this doesn’t sound like cocker rage at all, it’s extremely rare these days, was only in red cockers anyway, and cockers aren’t aggressive dogs at all unless they are badly trained, they are intelligent, loyal and people pleasers (very energetic though!). If my dog had the problem OP has described I would take it to Dogs Trust, they won’t put any dog to sleep that can be rehabilitated, they take time to properly assess and train. If your dog has problems with aggression that they can’t solve they will put it to sleep yes, but in those circumstances that’s the right thing to do.

Patsy70 Wed 17-Jun-20 20:53:35

So much very good advice here. If I were you, I would approach Dogs Trust first. I would definitely not consider re-homing an aggressive dog - how irresponsible would that be? Like other comments, why would a behaviourist even suggest it? You need to put yourself first! Your OH is being totally unreasonable and selfish. I do not consider that the dog should be PTS without trying DT or another behaviourist. Also, he needs to be on a lead at all times, and muzzled. And, try one of the warning yellow signs, attached to the lead, which would keep other dogs and their owners at a distance. Have you tried adding a natural, calming pill to his food? Take care and good luck!

Furret Wed 17-Jun-20 21:14:10

There’s nothing wrong with rehoming an aggressive dog provided the correct steps are taken.

Firstly has your dog been spayed yet? I’m guessing not.

Problem dogs are made not born, and you and your family have contributed to her problem. Not intentionally I’m sure, but that’s the case. Your husband needs to understand about guarding issues. So do not have her PTS. You need to rehome her via a reputable charity, possibly a cockapoo rescue site.

They will put her into foster care with an experienced fosterer who will assess her and work through her issues. Only then will they find a suitable forever home.

I and my friends foster dogs regularly and yes, many come with problems. I’ve had dogs who are so frightened they poo themselves if anyone goes near them. I’ve had biters. I ended up keeping one of the biters and a sweeter natured dog you couldn’t hope to meet. But it wasn’t easy and it took all my experience to win her confidence and sort the problem.

MissAdventure Wed 17-Jun-20 21:20:04

None of this makes any difference though, if her husband flatly refuses to accept rehoming.

Furret Wed 17-Jun-20 21:25:22

That’s the real issue here I suspect MissA and probably why the ‘behaviourist’ suggested rehoming.

Furret Wed 17-Jun-20 21:28:28

I could make several suggestions to get this dog back on track, but unless there is a concerted effort and husband and wife are singing off the sand hymn sheet, I doubt they would be followed consistently.

MissAdventure Wed 17-Jun-20 21:30:27

There was an episode of 'Me or the dog' where a big type dog was terrorising the women all the time, and she was unable to control it.
The husband seemed to find it vaguely amusing, if anything.
It was frightening to watch.

Furret Wed 17-Jun-20 21:36:43

Rearrange these words into a sentence MissA

head on hit nail the the have you

Hetty58 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:56:55

Rage syndrome has been described as an epileptic disorder affecting the emotion-related parts of the dog's brain. It is present in Cocker and Springer spaniel bloodlines (show dogs rather than working dogs) so no amount of training will make any difference. Your vet could try anti-epileptics. In the meantime, have you considered my outdoor kennel/run idea?

Furret Wed 17-Jun-20 21:59:15

You’re a vet?

Furret Wed 17-Jun-20 22:03:31

That post escaped when I was correcting the typo ...

It should read, your vet didn’t find anything wrong with her but did you mention this to her/him?

Callistemon Wed 17-Jun-20 22:04:53

MissAdventure

There was an episode of 'Me or the dog' where a big type dog was terrorising the women all the time, and she was unable to control it.
The husband seemed to find it vaguely amusing, if anything.
It was frightening to watch.

I didn't like to suggest that.
Although I did think it.

Hetty58 Wed 17-Jun-20 22:26:30

My friend had Saint Bernards all her adult life. They were lovely calm (but huge) dogs - all except one. He had aggression problems and even she was scared of him.

She wouldn't give up on him, though, and managed to cope by keeping him in a regular, quiet, predictable routine with plenty of rest.

We couldn't visit (nobody could) for ten years (his lifetime) but met in their local pub instead. He had his own garden room with a security grill door to ban him from the rest of the house, yet still, any excitement would set him off.

ValerieF Wed 17-Jun-20 22:47:59

I would never consider a cockapoo as a designer dog. They are a cross breed and have the genes from both parents. The poodle the more intelligent and the spaniel the more fun one. Neither of these breeds are notoriously bad tempered. Generally they are really great dogs.

A lot of things contribute to a dogs behaviour and the most common one is the owners not understanding how to treat them. For instance, when a pup sits on a chair and growls when someone tries to sit down, the instinct is to say awww its cute and leaves it there. Actual fact dogs need to be shown their place in the pecking order and the pup should be removed from the chair immediately. Sometimes people make the mistake of hugging dogs when they are growling instead of reprimanding them, thinking it is allaying their fears, when instead it is reinforcing their beliefs that they are right!

This dog clearly believes it is the boss in your household. How is she with your other dog? Dogs are pack animals and owners become part of their pack but they also need to know that they are the bottom of that pack.

If she is good with strangers and at groomers, it probably doesn't indicate that she wouldn't be ok in another environment.

Please don't think I am criticising you in any way but if you have had the dog since puppy try to think back to what you let her get away with when she was tiny. If you got the dog when she was older, where had she been and what had she been subjected to?

Obviously you cannot live in a house in fear of a dog! So I would see if you can suggest finding a home for her with perhaps a single person who is experienced with dogs rather than suggesting to your husband you have her put down?

merlotgran Wed 17-Jun-20 22:59:14

Dogs are supposed to be a pleasure. We share our lives with them and relish the unconditional love that they give us. Refusing to give up on an aggressive dog can't bring much joy to life can it? It's not like nursing an injured or sick dog who loves you for your care and attention.

Better to admit that it's not benefitting you or the dog and let the Dog's Trust determine its future if you can't bring yourself to make the decision.

Txquiltz Wed 17-Jun-20 23:07:45

I agree you would be in jeopardy if the dog inflicts a serious bite, especially since you are aware of the aggressive nature and a history of biting. Talk to Dog Trust and get their input. Euthanasia is a last ditch solution, but you need to have good information to decide what is best for the dog and those around her.

Hetty58 Wed 17-Jun-20 23:13:28

ValerieF is quite right, they are not a designer dog. This particular crossbreed has been popular since the 1930s.

There are bad, profit mad breeders, importers and puppy farms out there in abundance though. They are very clever in fooling the unwary public about the puppies origins.

Therefore, it's vitally important to find (investigate, research and double check) a very reputable breeder and be prepared to wait for a puppy.

Furret Thu 18-Jun-20 08:44:45

Valerie I agree with everything you say in your post.

sodapop Thu 18-Jun-20 09:23:39

No response from sazz1 I hope she has reached an agreement with her husband about the dog. It's not a good situation for the dog or the family to be in.

Dee1012 Thu 18-Jun-20 09:39:08

As others have said, my first port of call would be a another behaviourist...and please look into the background and qualifications first.
There are trainers who specialise in dogs like this, that's another option, I have a contact (based in Scotland) who does this work and has been very successful with a number of dogs.
I would have to exhaust every option before I would euthanise a dog but we are all different.

Newquay Thu 18-Jun-20 10:00:59

Haven’t read all of this post but cannot understand why anyone would think it reasonable to have such a dog-put it down for everyone’s sake!

Iam64 Thu 18-Jun-20 10:16:14

I'm interested that some posters don't believe that genetic inheritance can influence a dog's behaviour, that it's all down to "bad owners".
I don't dispute the importance of environment, owner handling, life experience in the dog, eg being attacked or ill treated definitely affects a dog. I've had several rescues and foster dogs who had terrible abuse/neglect histories. Three of them were poodle crosses, the rest collie x, German shepherd, cross breed who looked like a Kelpi but who knows and more. All those dogs came good with clear, loving, calm and consistent care.
The only dog I ever had who was a real challenge was a cockerpoo. I could write the book about my life with him, from 9 weeks, when he came home from a decent breeder - to age six when tragically he was put to sleep because of a brutal inoperable tumour. When he was two my vet and the trainer I'd been working with both reassured me that I was doing well, at a time when I thought Id failed my dog. They said separately the same thing - if this dog hadn't been with you/someone like you, he would if lucky been re-homed, or more likely put to sleep. Genetics?

Granarchist Thu 18-Jun-20 10:37:42

spaniels have a known problem which manifests itself by a sudden change of behaviour. A friend's cocker suddenly attacked her in her own car. She discussed it with the vet and had it PTS. You simply cannot keep a dog that one minute is all charm and then turns. Someone's life could be put at risk. Dogs Trust do amazing work but this sort of aggression is a different thing altogether. I don't think it is a behaviour thing but a brain storm and therefore uncontrollable.