I know the answer to this but would appreciate some comments anyway, even if the one poster says "why are you asking strangers online"? I am over 70 and my husband and I have looked after my two grandsons age 4 and 6 from the age of 9 months, two days a week, and have loved every minute. We have agreed to have them for a couple of days during the summer holidays as their parents work (mum is a nurse) and two days pickups from school from September. Now my niece age 50 has two children age 7 and 5, and I'm very close to her as her mother (my sister) has mental health problems and has never been able to support her. My niece is breaking up with her husband and also works full time (trying to work from home) and has childcare problems. Her husband's businesses have all failed, he is in terrible debt, loans and credit cards, they nearly had the house repossessed in January until his parents came to the rescue, and had the bailiffs round 3 times. My niece and husband are living separate lives in the same house at the moment. I've looked after her 7 year old 3 times recently as the poor child has been on her own at home (no school) and I felt sorry for her, but alarm bells rang when I realised this could become a habit. I know perfectly well I can't do it all, I haven't the energy at my age, neither has my husband, and looking after the grandsons is quite enough. But I'm torn with guilt for not being able to do more to help her. I think I just have a problem saying "no" as I know what a bad situation she's in, she's stressed out and lost weight. I've always wanted to please, just in my nature I suppose. My husband backs me up, but I've had sleepless nights, I don't know why, it's just not my problem. Just wanted to offload this to some strangers!
flaxwoven Sat 11-Jul-20 13:48:06
silverlining48 Sat 11-Jul-20 14:06:15
ValerieF Sat 11-Jul-20 17:55:33
Sussexborn Sat 11-Jul-20 18:07:52
flaxwoven Thu 16-Jul-20 09:27:35