Antisocial Behaviour

I m sorry but I think neighbour disputes are always very damaging and I would not be complaining so much if I was in your position
The 3 year old shouldn’t of course be on her own and going in your garden if it’s an enclosed garden, but you say open plan so not there’s not much you can do and 7.30 isn’t really that early I understand you’re not a good sleeper but the child doesn’t know that
As for cars no one owns the road by their house and you can’t always park where you want to I don’t have a car but my daughter often has to park in another street altogether and it’s like musical chairs in her road
You say you have experienced 8 years of anti social behaviour but these troublesome neighbours have only just moved in so presumably you’ve had a lot of trouble with other neighbours before perhaps you are expecting too much from the area you live in perhaps close proximity neighbours isn’t the life for you not everyone can tolerate other too close is there a possibility of moving because to somewhere more secluded
I try always to make friends ( distant, not friend friends) of neighbours even if they don’t live my style of life it’s so much easier that always picking holes and making enemy’s

I m so sorry I realise that’s not what you want to hear and I do feel sorry for anyone who does have neighbour problems but maybe try to be a bit more relaxed about these people after all the little 3 year old is only visiting

You need to make a written official complaint (marked as such) to the Housing Associations head office. Detail all of what you have said here along with dates times etc. that you have tried to contact your housing officer. Also get in touch with the local Crime prevention officer at the police, they will give you some advice regarding keeping secure. We had this a while back with our communal gardens and areas. The CPO was great and worked with us and the Housing Association to get some security issues sorted.
Dont let the HA fob you off. If you make an official complaint they have to address it or you can go to the Housing Ombudsman. Good luck

These people should have signed a tenants agreement when they moved in. Are they in breach of that agreement? I agree with HAZBEEN, you have tried complaining to your local officer, now try head office.
If they have such a cavalier attitude to other peoples property, I wonder what is going on inside their own home.
The child is only very young but if she is allowed to get away with this sort of behaviour now, it will lead on to more serious things as she gets older.

A three year old child should not be running around unsupervised by other people's houses at any time of the day or night. Look at the Child Protection route, and make sure you register concerns about her being unsupervised.

are these bungalows intended for older people.
perhaps as well as advice given above, you could request that the back garden be fenced, for greater security, esp for older people, to deter anyone from walking right up to your back door, checking locks, looking in.
say you have already had an attempted break-in and are worried by prowlers, which is true.
local police crime prevention might support you in this request.

Call Social Services or police due to welfare of the child. They will take it seriously then

No one would know what goes on in their home as they never open their blinds...says a lot to me. I cannot blame the child because she is very young...but as I have pointed out to the said tenants...you should know better. It is part of there tenancy to take responsibility for any visitors behaviours to their home especially disturbing other tenants and damaging their property.

I echo others saying maybe you could look at fencing your own part of the garden. Regarding the car, did you need to move your vehicle? Did you want to go somewhere? I understand it’s frustrating for you, but sometimes delivery is everything. You have to live with these people in your proximity - if you needed to move your car simply asking them to shift theirs so you could get out would maybe have been a more sensible course of action?

Housing officers normally schedule appointments to see tenants and although you had requested a meeting, approaching and telling the officer to come see you may have impacted her agreed schedule.

I have had bad neighbours once in the past and I do sympathise, but please don’t turn this into something bigger than it actually is, letting these little annoyances turn into something bigger will only impact your own state of mind and the council have limited power over disputes.

Thank you Lolo81. It is the Housing Assoc who should be fencing said areas as the plan of the homes are so outdated whereby when built tenants did not have the rights they have today. Everyone is entitled to privacy...and when my privacy is invaded I will not put up with it. I do not invade other peoples privacy so I wont put up with people invading mine. My car hemmed in was done deliberate...you do not have to cars side to side parked on a road...there were many cars parked and enough yet the tenants son decided to park his car at the side of mine. Its not like he had driven in a car park space resulting in him being at the side of mine.. it was a situation where there was no space so he parked on the road at the side of mine resulting in cars having to drive around his car... who in the right mind does that?? I had requested a visit from the housing officer 6 days previous...the policy is for her to contact me within 48 hours...this was not done. If her diary was full and she bothered to phone me, email me in the time she should of I would wait my turn for the said visit. If she had an agreed schedule it did not impact her time talking to the nuisance tenant for 30 minutes before visiting another tenant nor after her visit when approached by the nuisance tenant again. Little annoyances that as been expressed by Lolo81 turn into bigger things if not nipped in the bud. Such people as these people think it is ok to do as they like and the fact that the Housing Officer ignored my request to call at my home gives such people the idea that the housing officer is siding with them instead of remaining neutral. I have been a v.good neighbour to all around me yet people took advantage in many ways...I have since learned my lesson. Sadly, when you are good to people...people portray you as kind& helpful but can think you are a walk over! I am far from that... when you cross me, you will know about it... I will not take it into my own hands...I will take it down the right channels and if not taken seriously I will escalate to the top until people know not to mess with me again.

Thank you for those helpful messages...those not so helpful do not understand the tenancy laws of today. I am here to live my life quietly...I would not befriend such people who have a total disregard of others nor will I be walked over. People will get away with as much as you let them...I have learned now to let such people know quickly were they stand with me and to back off. I am tenacious enough to follow things through and will not be intimidated easily by bullies or liars...they get found out soon enough.

One thing to add donna always keep a written record of any conversations with HA. If possible try to deal with them by letter or email. If you have a phone or face to face conversation email or write a letter stating what you understood to be the content of that conversation and asking if they have anything to add. This especially important if you deal with more than one person.
I now try to only deal with my HA by email and copy in anyone else involved in the process. Good luck.

BlueBelle

I m sorry but I think neighbour disputes are always very damaging and I would not be complaining so much if I was in your position
The 3 year old shouldn’t of course be on her own and going in your garden if it’s an enclosed garden, but you say open plan so not there’s not much you can do and 7.30 isn’t really that early I understand you’re not a good sleeper but the child doesn’t know that
As for cars no one owns the road by their house and you can’t always park where you want to I don’t have a car but my daughter often has to park in another street altogether and it’s like musical chairs in her road
You say you have experienced 8 years of anti social behaviour but these troublesome neighbours have only just moved in so presumably you’ve had a lot of trouble with other neighbours before perhaps you are expecting too much from the area you live in perhaps close proximity neighbours isn’t the life for you not everyone can tolerate other too close is there a possibility of moving because to somewhere more secluded
I try always to make friends ( distant, not friend friends) of neighbours even if they don’t live my style of life it’s so much easier that always picking holes and making enemy’s

I m so sorry I realise that’s not what you want to hear and I do feel sorry for anyone who does have neighbour problems but maybe try to be a bit more relaxed about these people after all the little 3 year old is only visiting

Excellent post BlueBelle and just what I think too.
Neighbours who constantly complain about trivial things tend to get a bad name amongst all the other neighbours, and in any case, you never know when you may need their help with something.The child is around 3 years old, and not her fault if the grandparents aren’t supervising her ( 3 year olds are very good at being escape artists).
If she did damage some things on your property Donna it’s highly likely that was a result of you being unfriendly to her and her Grandparents.Smile at her next time and say hello, it can work wonders.

Good post, Bluebelle

I feel sorry for this child though - are they not keeping an eye on her? She's only three.

In the spirit of BlueBelle and Lemongrove's posts... A wise man once reminded me that it is the rigid trees that are knocked down in a storm, the trees that bend prevail.

I say this with kindness because from what you have said it seems your neighbours don't care how you feel. They probably don't give you a second thought, so the only person who is suffering horrible feelings of anger, resentment and the stress that causes is you.

Excellent post Notinthemanual. Very well put.

I could not agree more with notinthemanual, bluebelle & lemon.

OP - you have posted this in the AIBU thread. So my response - yes you are: your reactions are not proportionate to the issues at hand.

Your complaints have merit, however based on your responses here - you want what you want and no amount of advice to the contrary will change your mind. Therefore I wish you luck.

donna I sympathise, and I agree that a 3 year old should not be unsupervised and damaging property. However, you are now shouting at people, being demanding and having high expectations over shared space and parking which makes this a two way argument. This means you will not get the desired result you want as it will continue to escalate.

I can see you like your peace and privacy and its not the best situation for you which is understandable but I think you would have had better results handling it more gently. At least then it would be clear one side is unreasonable.

Neighbours can be hell . We have new ones behind me with a yappy dog to-day it yapped the whole day so I eventually banged on the fence and told the owner to please keep it quite. She never even said she was sorry it was disturbing me .
Perhaps social services should be told of a three year old wandering about unsupervised. How would she know if you were good people or not ?

Thank you.

Oops. Thank you, Chewbacca

HAZBEEN

One thing to add donna always keep a written record of any conversations with HA. If possible try to deal with them by letter or email. If you have a phone or face to face conversation email or write a letter stating what you understood to be the content of that conversation and asking if they have anything to add. This especially important if you deal with more than one person.
I now try to only deal with my HA by email and copy in anyone else involved in the process. Good luck.

Thank you HAZBEEN for your advice it is very valuable.

lemongrove

BlueBelle

I m sorry but I think neighbour disputes are always very damaging and I would not be complaining so much if I was in your position
The 3 year old shouldn’t of course be on her own and going in your garden if it’s an enclosed garden, but you say open plan so not there’s not much you can do and 7.30 isn’t really that early I understand you’re not a good sleeper but the child doesn’t know that
As for cars no one owns the road by their house and you can’t always park where you want to I don’t have a car but my daughter often has to park in another street altogether and it’s like musical chairs in her road
You say you have experienced 8 years of anti social behaviour but these troublesome neighbours have only just moved in so presumably you’ve had a lot of trouble with other neighbours before perhaps you are expecting too much from the area you live in perhaps close proximity neighbours isn’t the life for you not everyone can tolerate other too close is there a possibility of moving because to somewhere more secluded
I try always to make friends ( distant, not friend friends) of neighbours even if they don’t live my style of life it’s so much easier that always picking holes and making enemy’s

I m so sorry I realise that’s not what you want to hear and I do feel sorry for anyone who does have neighbour problems but maybe try to be a bit more relaxed about these people after all the little 3 year old is only visiting

Excellent post BlueBelle and just what I think too.
Neighbours who constantly complain about trivial things tend to get a bad name amongst all the other neighbours, and in any case, you never know when you may need their help with something.The child is around 3 years old, and not her fault if the grandparents aren’t supervising her ( 3 year olds are very good at being escape artists).
If she did damage some things on your property Donna it’s highly likely that was a result of you being unfriendly to her and her Grandparents.Smile at her next time and say hello, it can work wonders.

Lemongrove... what a thing to say...'constantly complain about trivial things'. Maybe you think it is ok to damage other peoples property and invade their privacy, try to intimidate others...I don't and it is not trivial!!! As far as getting a bad name...dont think so!!! I have done too many good things for my neighbours....too much to mention!!! I will never need these neighbours for anything...they will need me before I need them!!! Where is your head lemongrove your answers are something else...especially your last paragraph!!!

Floradora9

Neighbours can be hell . We have new ones behind me with a yappy dog to-day it yapped the whole day so I eventually banged on the fence and told the owner to please keep it quite. She never even said she was sorry it was disturbing me .
Perhaps social services should be told of a three year old wandering about unsupervised. How would she know if you were good people or not ?

Floradora9... I sympathise with you...a lot of people have a total disregard for the people living around them. If it does not bother them...it should not bother you attitude. I have one around by me who leaves the dog out yapping...also lets it out very late at night and early morning yapping...anything before 08.00 am and after 22.00 pm is antisocial behaviour. This same person before having this dog would be the first to tell anyone about the noise their making but thinks its ok now for her to do it...double standards! I just don't suffer fools anymore.... I cannot stand disrespect & disregard...also lacking social skills.